first society event
Im so nervous, I don't know anyone, Im not really an interesting person everyone will probably hate or ignore me. I was bullied a lot and never had many friends so I want to try make some but I don't know if I should go I feel so nervous. does anyone have any tips/advice ?
Firstly, I'm sure you're a much more interesting person than you believe. Spend so much time in your own head and you start to get repetitive - but only because you hear it all the time. For someone else, that'll be totally new. If that makes sense?
Anyway, something that works for me when I'm nervous is to make a character. That way, in the situation, I'm acting. Say something weird, or trip over? Doesn't matter. It's not me, it's [character]. Give them a little something, like funky posture, or a even just a nickname.
If that doesn't work, at least you tried! What matters most is you're taking a leap of faith and trying. The more you try, the less terrifying it will get. As my mum always says, "feel the fear and do it anyway."
Fear is normal. It's your response to it that makes the difference. You can either not turn up and things will always stay the same, and you'll never know what might have been - or you can turn up, try, and see what comes of it. Maybe things change. Maybe they don't. You won't know until you try.
Good luck and have fun! I'm sure you'll smash it. After all, you got this far. What's a little more?
Anyway, something that works for me when I'm nervous is to make a character. That way, in the situation, I'm acting. Say something weird, or trip over? Doesn't matter. It's not me, it's [character]. Give them a little something, like funky posture, or a even just a nickname.
If that doesn't work, at least you tried! What matters most is you're taking a leap of faith and trying. The more you try, the less terrifying it will get. As my mum always says, "feel the fear and do it anyway."
Fear is normal. It's your response to it that makes the difference. You can either not turn up and things will always stay the same, and you'll never know what might have been - or you can turn up, try, and see what comes of it. Maybe things change. Maybe they don't. You won't know until you try.
Good luck and have fun! I'm sure you'll smash it. After all, you got this far. What's a little more?
Original post by Anonymous #1
Im so nervous, I don't know anyone, Im not really an interesting person everyone will probably hate or ignore me. I was bullied a lot and never had many friends so I want to try make some but I don't know if I should go I feel so nervous. does anyone have any tips/advice ?
Anon,
Well done for choosing to go to your first society event!
Going somewhere new is nerve-wracking and it is easy to talk yourself out of going before you have even got anywhere near the place, but that's when you need to keep going and not allow your fears and worries to take over. Most of the time they are misplaced. Most of the time you find that actually there was nothing to worry about and that actually you had a good time.
People are drawn to people who look confident, so try and walk in confidently (rather than with your head down, or with your back hunched and eyes avoiding everyone). Smile : ) Introduce yourself to someone. Explain that you are new and why you wanted to come and they should do the rest of the hard work!
Before entering, you could try the 'Superman' pose. It's where you put your hands on your hip, and stand tall with a wide stance. Standing in this position for a couple of minutes is supposed to help you feel more confident. You could try doing this before before you head out.
The people at the event should welcome you, introduce you to others and ask you questions that you just need to reply to! (There are no wrong answers!) Hopefully, you will feel relaxed quickly and will feel comfortable asking questions that you have. You can't really go wrong with what course they are studying and what year they are in, how often events are held etc...
Finally, whether you think the event is boring or really cool, try and enjoy yourself. Whether that's trying to talk a set number of people before it ends, enjoying the free food or drinks, or making the most of the opportunity to try something new, try and see it as a laugh or at least the chance to do try something different.
All the best,
Smile : )
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
Original post by Anonymous #1
Im so nervous, I don't know anyone, Im not really an interesting person everyone will probably hate or ignore me. I was bullied a lot and never had many friends so I want to try make some but I don't know if I should go I feel so nervous. does anyone have any tips/advice ?
Hi there,
I'm sorry to read this! But thinking that you're not an interesting person is probably the worst mindset to show up to an event with!
Be kind to yourself, show interest in other people and just see where you can contribute!
I hope this helps and that you have a great time at the event!
All the best,
Jaz - Cardiff student rep
Original post by Anonymous #1
Im so nervous, I don't know anyone, Im not really an interesting person everyone will probably hate or ignore me. I was bullied a lot and never had many friends so I want to try make some but I don't know if I should go I feel so nervous. does anyone have any tips/advice ?
Hiya!
Trying something new or going somewhere new can sometimes feel intimidating and if it helps, a lot of people feel this way, so you are not alone! And at the end of the day if you try to put yourself out there, you should be proud of yourself.
If you are not a confident person, my advice would be to pretend that you are – this might seem a bit silly or impossible, but it does honestly work my confidence has grown incredibly by doing this and has made me more of an outgoing person. Try and make small talk and introduce yourself, I am sure they will be quite welcoming to new members and will help you with introductions etc and show an interest in what others talk about.
Go to the social with an open mind and a positive outlook because if you go dreading the evening you will not enjoy your evening as much. Look at it this way, you could have an amazing time making the social event become a regular occurrence, meet new people, and develop friendships and even have fun, try and enjoy yourself and de-stress.
Hope this helps, and let us know how it goes
-Maddie, second year Health and well-being in society student at De Montfort University
Original post by Anonymous
Im so nervous, I don't know anyone, Im not really an interesting person everyone will probably hate or ignore me. I was bullied a lot and never had many friends so I want to try make some but I don't know if I should go I feel so nervous. does anyone have any tips/advice ?
No one will hate you or ignore you
It's fine to not know anyone at a society, most people don't at first. And in my experience, people tend to be very welcoming in societies regardless of when you joined. I only went to the debating society halfway through the first semester at my university, and I still was able to make friends, despite there already being established groups! I did a similar thing with the first aid society just this week, which is obviously much later in the year and it was still alright. And if you're feeling nervous for not knowing anyone, you have to remember that there will be a lot of new people joining societies now, because it's the start of a new semester, so you won't be the only new face around. Not that it matters anyway, you just have to go there, participate and be friendly and approach people with a smile and a "Hi! I'm X, what's your name?" and take it from there. Surprisingly easy to do once you surpass your fears
Original post by Anonymous #1
Im so nervous, I don't know anyone, Im not really an interesting person everyone will probably hate or ignore me. I was bullied a lot and never had many friends so I want to try make some but I don't know if I should go I feel so nervous. does anyone have any tips/advice ?
Hi there,
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
I'm sure you are an interesting person! No one will hate or ignore you either, I think it's great that you've signed up to go to a society event and put yourself out there.
It can be really nerve-wracking to go to a new place and not know anyone, so well done. I usually find that doing some self care (pampering, favourite show and food, relaxing, etc) beforehand really helps to change my mindset from negativity to positivity, and I'd recommend that you try to go in confident and smiling.
Small talk can be awkward and scary, but as long as you're interested in the society and wanting to get to know people, I'm sure you'll have no trouble in making friends. Maybe think of a few things to ask the people you meet. What course are they on? Where are they from? There could also be some society-specific questions you can ask.
Best of luck and I hope this helps,
Isabella 🙂
Third-year Geography with a Year Abroad Student
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