The Student Room Group

Why is it hard to make friends while at uni?

Like I joined a couple of societies but I feel like I don't have any friends just some from my course that I talk to mostly when I se them in lectures. So is there an easy way to make friends while at uni? any advice will be appreciated.
Original post by Amin7
Like I joined a couple of societies but I feel like I don't have any friends just some from my course that I talk to mostly when I se them in lectures. So is there an easy way to make friends while at uni? any advice will be appreciated.
@Amin7

It takes time to get to know people, so normally the more time that you spend with people and the more shared experiences and memories built, then the closer you tend to get them.

(It can be frustrating when you are not sure how much you can share with a person and whether they see you as a close friend or whether it's okay to ask for help or advice, but over time you begin to realise the people who do care, who are interested in how you are, who do want to help you if you have a problem and who are willing to be there for you when you need them.)

It's great that you have joined some societies and that you get on well with different people from your class. Perhaps it's trying to meet up more outside of lectures. Maybe it's seeing if people want to go see a film on the weekend or go running or even study together in the library. You could also try phoning or messaging outside of class, so that even if people don't have much time after lectures, you are still building the friendship by communicating regularly about studies or life outside of uni.

I think some friendships come easily (you don't almost have to do anything) and others don't! Whether that's because people can be shy and reserved or feel a bit vulnerable (they fear rejection), it can just take more time. All being well though, by the end of the year you'll begin to know who your friends are.

All the best,

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
Original post by Amin7
Like I joined a couple of societies but I feel like I don't have any friends just some from my course that I talk to mostly when I se them in lectures. So is there an easy way to make friends while at uni? any advice will be appreciated.
Hi there

It is great that you have tried to join some societies, it is a great start.
Speaking to others in the same course is also a good starting point :biggrin:. You could always try to ask them to hang around after your lessons. Most of my friends are from the same course as me, we often hang around to complete seminar work and chill afterwards. :smile: Perhaps you could try something similar. :smile:

If you have a found a society that you like, try going to it consistently. This would help you get to know the society members and those who go there regularly. :smile: Try speaking to them, and perhaps you may make some friends that way too! :smile:

Also keep an eye out for any University or student union hosted events/ There are occasionally coffee chats, networking events, or community events that are hosted, which you could always try. Making friends takes time, so keep attending different events, and I am sure you will find your group of people.

I hope this helps.
Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep
Original post by Amin7
Like I joined a couple of societies but I feel like I don't have any friends just some from my course that I talk to mostly when I se them in lectures. So is there an easy way to make friends while at uni? any advice will be appreciated.
Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear you are having trouble with this. Making friends can be really difficult, and often takes some time, but don't let that discourage you!

It's great that you've joined some societies. I'd say try to continue to go and talk to people, and hope that you find someone you bond with well. The same goes for people in your classes. Texting outside of class is also a great way to form a connection with the people you see regularly, and it might also make talking in person less awkward afterwards! You could also ask someone you think you might get along well with to grab coffee, study together, or do another fun activity. It is a great, low-commitment and low-cost way to hangout and get to know someone better.

Are there any volunteering opportunities, clubs in your city, or part-time work you can look at? You might be able to find more people with common interests outside of university too.

My overall advice would be to keep trying. It does take time (which is frustrating and can be discouraging), but your people are out there somewhere!

I hope this helps and best of luck,

Isabella 🙂
Third-year Geography with a Year Abroad Student
Original post by Amin7
Like I joined a couple of societies but I feel like I don't have any friends just some from my course that I talk to mostly when I se them in lectures. So is there an easy way to make friends while at uni? any advice will be appreciated.
Hi!
I felt like this too at uni, where I would speak to people in lectures but we all found it hard to make the first move to hang out outside of that time! I would say be brave and be the person to suggest you all get coffee after class (as then you'll already be in the same place!) or grabbing lunch together. It can help you get any worries about the work off your chest and look forward to lectures knowing that you've got that social time after.
Original post by Amin7
Like I joined a couple of societies but I feel like I don't have any friends just some from my course that I talk to mostly when I se them in lectures. So is there an easy way to make friends while at uni? any advice will be appreciated.

Hi there,

It can be tricky to make friends while at uni, this is something I struggled with in my first year!

I would start by trying to see if your course mates want to do things outside uni. You could suggest going for food after uni, or going for a coffee, or even just asking if they want to meet up in the library for a bit to do some work together, especially if you have deadlines coming up. This may lead to going out more together and doing more things together so it's worth a try! The worst that can happen is they say no, but it might make them realise that you want to meet up so they might start asking you too.

If you don't already, I would suggest to go to your society meet ups consistently and see if that helps with making friends I the society. At least you already have a common interest in the society so try and make conversation with them each week and they might start suggesting to meet up outside of the society. Or, in September, try and join some other societies if you aren't enjoying the ones you are doing and see if you enjoy this more!

I would also suggest looking at your student union and see if they are putting on any events that you can attend. At Hallam, they often put on 'give it a go' events which involve going to different places, e.g theme parks, cinema, football matches. If your university student union does this, it may be worth going along and seeing if you meet anyone here!

If you don't get on with your flatmates and you live in halls, try and see if your halls is putting on any events. In my first year, my halls often out on events in the social areas an these may be worth going along to and seeing if you make friends with anyone else in your building!

I hope some of this helps!
Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

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