i forgot my friends birthday and i feel awful

so i just recently remembered my friends birthday and it was on New Year's eve. it is now february. i feel absolutely awful. i've done this twice now, to both of my friends and i feel like a terrible person bc they say happy birthday to me and i completely forget theirs. i feel to embarassed to message them now and say "hey i'm so sorry that i forgot your birthday, let's do something the next time we meet, my treat". albeit we only see each other 2 or 3 times a year bc we are all away doing our own thing, them at uni and me trying to decide on a career path.

i am a summer baby so i think i just got used to people never remembering my birthday, so in turn i never remembered theirs, and i just think that this carried onto into my late teens. i say i'm going to remember and i ultimately forget. i can't help but wonder what they think about me. we have a group chat but i know that they message privately too bc i do sometimes with one of them, but i just have a feeling that when i forget that they talk about me like "oh she forgot again" and i just feel horrible. i probably am overthinking it, but i asked my parents and they said, "well how would you feel if a close friend didn't say happy birthday? that's probably how they feel".

i don't really know what to do.
does this make me a bad person?

Reply 1

cheadle

17

Doing something "wrong" doesn't make you a bad person. It just means that you did something "wrong". And by the way, it's only "wrong" if it caused offence or had terrible consequences for you - neither of which appears to be the case here.
I would honestly let this go. Do nothing. Your friends haven't pulled you up about it. They're still your friends. But seriously if this matters to you, then you need to create some reminders so that you don't forget in future.
One of my best friends didn't send me a birthday card last year, but it arrived weeks later (she obvs got the date wrong). I didn't mention it either when it didn't arrive or when it arrived late. In the end these things aren't that important, unless you make them so.

Reply 2

leahjanemeasures

9

Original post by Anonymous #1

so i just recently remembered my friends birthday and it was on New Year's eve. it is now february. i feel absolutely awful. i've done this twice now, to both of my friends and i feel like a terrible person bc they say happy birthday to me and i completely forget theirs. i feel to embarassed to message them now and say "hey i'm so sorry that i forgot your birthday, let's do something the next time we meet, my treat". albeit we only see each other 2 or 3 times a year bc we are all away doing our own thing, them at uni and me trying to decide on a career path.

i am a summer baby so i think i just got used to people never remembering my birthday, so in turn i never remembered theirs, and i just think that this carried onto into my late teens. i say i'm going to remember and i ultimately forget. i can't help but wonder what they think about me. we have a group chat but i know that they message privately too bc i do sometimes with one of them, but i just have a feeling that when i forget that they talk about me like "oh she forgot again" and i just feel horrible. i probably am overthinking it, but i asked my parents and they said, "well how would you feel if a close friend didn't say happy birthday? that's probably how they feel".

i don't really know what to do.
does this make me a bad person?

its not your fault. so i would say apologize and try to make it up to your friend. im here if you want to talk

i forgot my friends birthday and i feel awful

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