Im dreaming about one night stand

Hello I’m a female, been dating since 17. I met many guys in my life, I slept only with one because I was already so curious to try sex. It was nice but the guy in the end wasn’t really my type. We were dating for 2 months. He wanted to cuddle after and spend some time with me.. Im a cold person I dont get attached to ppl so easily. I prefer to **** and leave. So that’s why I’m dreaming of one night stand, with someone exotic, who’s my type, who’s different nationality. Just enjoy, feel the moment and don’t care about anything bcs I’ll probably never see him again. What are your experiences about this topic?

Reply 1

Crazy Jamie

Careers Forum Helper

The obvious point to make is that the reality of these sorts of situations very rarely matches the fantasy. It's easy to see the sort of image you're building of passionate, spontaneous sex with a hot, exotic stranger. But a person's nationality or ethnicity doesn't correlate at all with how good they are in bed, or indeed how well you will click with them. Just like any sex, sex in a one night stand might not be very good. There is also generally some sort of conversation afterwards, even if you don't see each other after that point. At the same time, it might end up being just what you need even if it's not exactly the image you built up in your mind.

The key really is thinking about this practically rather than allowing the fantasy to overtake your thought process. Where are you going to meet someone to have a one night stand with? Where are you actually going to have sex with them? What boundaries do you want to set for the sex itself and how are you going to communicate those? When are you (or they) going to leave? You need to think through these things and more not just to give yourself the best chance of an enjoyable experience, but to ensure that you keep yourself safe as well. It's also an experience that probably won't be exactly as you want to be first time round, but like anything you can learn from that do things different next time (if there is a next time).

As I say, this sort of thinking is absolutely fine, and there is nothing wrong with fulfilling fantasies. Just make sure you're sensible about it, and appreciate that in practice whilst it can still be a very good experience, and perhaps even better than you expect, it's not going to play out exactly as you think when you fantasise about it.

Reply 2

StriderHort

Depends how you look at it, it's really just a typical 'tall dark stranger' pulp airport romance novel fantasy.

You'd need to consider your partner though as coldness will put a lot of people off, so you're either going for people equally cold or simply desperate. You say you just want to **** and leave, but you might honestly find you rethink after someone's treated you like a piece of meat and went on their way for the first time.