i cant keep doing this

im stuck in this cycle where im at college and because its hard for me to socialise and ive tried interacting with people and they always seem closed off so i just keep to myself this is fine for a few months until after christmas it always goes wrong idk how or what but i cant seem to get myself to go wake up and attend, i feel like its mostly to do with me being alone although i have accepted it im always missing days and course after course idk what i want to do this year i thought i finally found something i really want to do but it just fades.

its been 4yrs trying to get through college with something but im failing everytime..apprentiships arent for me either, i want to go uni. my attendance is dropping significantly and im trying my hardest to go back in.

Reply 1

heyidk

Hey, I am just freshman but international. I felt the same thing in my first semester. It felt like I couldn't find my fit and put so much pressure on myself.
Here is what I am trying to do:

Start from little steps and realistic goal
for ex: I will wake up at 5am and study for 6 hours in a day NO
I will wake up 10 mins earlier everyday and study 30 mins and add 10-15 mins

Start journaling:
Gratitude journal
Your plans/goals/dreams/ideas/things accomplish journal
Diary when you overthink (anything you can write about/can be messy)

Meditate
praying/breathing/reading

Try to find activities makes you happy and alive
For me watching anime/YT vlogging/makeup and etc

Start telling affirmations in the mirror:
I am loved and blessed, I am important, I can achieve my goals, I am my dream person, it is empowering to be me and etc

Try to find people (even 1) who enjoys the same things that you enjoy. It is better to be alone that feeling alone among strangers. It is not about you but about energy/vibe. All people have different energy maybe yours matches theirs. But believe there is sb who truely enjoys from talking to you, enjoy going to little parties rather than being big circles

Go to solo dates, embrace and love yourself, your company, enjoy from doing things alone.

Turn off/delete/take a break from social media. It can draining and u might be comparing yourself to others. Unfollow and unfriend people who drain your energy