Am I overthinking this??

I’m in a long distance relationship, and worse still, the guy I’m seeing and I both have our finals going on right now and we don’t get much time to text or call. We did say that until the exams are over, we’re going to have to be okay with the situation where sometimes we can’t talk for 2-3 days (mostly coz once we start, we know we won’t stop talking for the next 3-4 hours, and we don’t have that kind of time).

I’m usually someone that gets very attached to people I’m close to, and I have a fear of abandonment that leads me to get very anxious when I don’t hear from them, or if I feel like something is off in the relationship.
But now, even though we sometimes go a few days not talking, I don’t feel that anxious. I do worry, but I don’t get the same symptoms as I usually do.

I sometimes ask for reassurance that we’re still good, and he gives it to me saying that I shouldn’t apologise for it. But I get the feeling that me being insecure about this is pushing him away. The conversations are a little stilted now and it feels like we’re not on the same plane.

I’m worried that the fact that I’m not getting anxious about our relationship means that I’m losing feelings or i don’t care.
But I do still care about him, i miss him, I love spending those hours talking to him but something feels off. I’m worried that he’s thinking this too.

I know he’s dead loyal, and I am too. So do you think it’s just because of the distance and because we’re both so preoccupied with finals, or that this is something I need to worry about?

Reply 1

Surnia

Yes, you're overthinking it. You're comfortable in the relationship so you won't be worrying about lack of contact. Conversations being stilted is most likely nothing more than exam stress and the fact that careers and future lifestyle are looming.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Surnia

I thought so too… we often argue over a text that didn’t convey because the tone didn’t communicate through it. We resolve it quickly and never go to bed angry, but it still happens.

I think it really is the circumstances that’s taking a toll on us. I’m hoping that when we get back to normal life in two months, and we can see each other again, things will get better…

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my giant rant though!