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no friends at univeristy of birmingham first year

how do people make REAL friends here?

I'm so alone I sit in my room even on a Friday night. I know a bunch of people that I'm superficially friends with but they all have deeper connections and go out together (im not invited). I'm just a Mon-Friday friend.

I don't get to hear my voice on the weekends. My flatmates are not my type of people at all (I live at Battery Park)

I would think I'm a nice person. Never been in fights. I always reply fast to messages and I like to go out just not keen on the clubbing.

I don't do any sports so I didn't join any sports societies. Feels too late to join any other societies as groups have probably already formed.

I feel like I failed at freshers. I dont think I can do another 4 years here. I'll go insane.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Hi, I am sorry you're feeling like this. I am sure there are other students at Birmingham who share your interests and could become your friends, it's just that you might not have met them yet. I think joining a couple of societies would be a good idea, even if friendship groups have formed there already. If you share their interest, they will welcome you even at this time of the year. Definitely worth a try in my view. Also, maybe you could ask a few of your 'superficial' friends if they would like to go out at the weekend sometimes. They might say yes and that would be brilliant. Of course, they might say no but at least you'd have tried. And even if they say no to going out once doesn't mean they'd say no the next time you ask.
Hope this helps a bit.

Reply 2

mike23mike

as above, give the non-sporting societies a chance. They will welcome new joiners and at least you will share the same interests as them - chess, book club etc.

Reply 3

WrexhamUniReps

Official Rep

Hi, I am sorry that you are currently struggling to make meaningful connections at university. I would definitely recommend joining a society or two; societies typically welcome individuals at any time of the year, and will be filled with people who share similar interests to you. Alternatively, you could consider asking some of your course mates, or perhaps people you are in group projects with, if they'd like to go out for coffee or lunch between your classes... taking these small steps may allow you to build more meaningful connections with them that could form into 'real' friendships wherein you make weekend plans as well as weekday plans. Another option is to see if there are any Facebook groups/chats that you could join specifically for Birmingham students. It's important to remember that there are other students that are in your position, that would love to be your friend, and that you are never alone. If you are struggling, perhaps consider speaking to your university's well-being team, who may be able to provide you with more specific advice and support. In terms of freshers - you can always attend freshers events in the next academic year! I attended freshers events during every year at university, and thoroughly enjoyed them.

Lauren

Reply 4

De Montfort University

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous #1

how do people make REAL friends here?
I'm so alone I sit in my room even on a Friday night. I know a bunch of people that I'm superficially friends with but they all have deeper connections and go out together (im not invited). I'm just a Mon-Friday friend.
I don't get to hear my voice on the weekends. My flatmates are not my type of people at all (I live at Battery Park)
I would think I'm a nice person. Never been in fights. I always reply fast to messages and I like to go out just not keen on the clubbing.
I don't do any sports so I didn't join any sports societies. Feels too late to join any other societies as groups have probably already formed.
I feel like I failed at freshers. I dont think I can do another 4 years here. I'll go insane.

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but please know that you're not alone. Many of us have felt this way, especially in the first year. It's okay that you haven't found your group yet. Friendships take time to form and it's never too late to join societies or clubs, people are generally welcoming and always open to new members. Try to find student societies that align with your interests outside of sports. Remember, it's okay to step out of your comfort zone. You might surprise yourself. University is often portrayed as the 'best years of your life', but it's okay if you don't feel that way all the time. It's a journey with ups and downs. Hang in there and remember there's support available, both within the university and externally. You're not alone in this.

Take care,
Ilya

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

I go to a different university in Birmingham? If you wanna talk