i hate myself for romance

Anonymous #1

Just to get it out the way:

1.

I'm not very ugly (not perfect but like im not fat or an eye sore)

2.

I have a good personality - i've been told

3.

I have a good work ethic

4.

I have a nice group of friends and a family

5.

I don't smoke, vape. Sometimes i do drink but its only at parties which im practically go once every 3 months.

6.

I treat people nice and with respect.

7.

I've tried adding people online and talking to new people.

I'm 18 years old, haven't even held hands romantically. The last crush I had was when i was 11. Everyone I have spoken too just hasnt appealed to me and i hate it. My standards aren't even high (they cant be because im not like a 10/10, more like a 6 or 7/10). People say that relationships aren't all that but they only say it because they are in one. They are important. Its hard not to feel valued, desired or loved when everyone around you is in a relationship or falling in love and im just watching them.
I don't care if my first relationship ends in agonizing heartbreak, I just want to experience what its like.

Reply 1

Unknown23!

6

Original post by Anonymous #1

Just to get it out the way:

1.

I'm not very ugly (not perfect but like im not fat or an eye sore)

2.

I have a good personality - i've been told

3.

I have a good work ethic

4.

I have a nice group of friends and a family

5.

I don't smoke, vape. Sometimes i do drink but its only at parties which im practically go once every 3 months.

6.

I treat people nice and with respect.

7.

I've tried adding people online and talking to new people.

I'm 18 years old, haven't even held hands romantically. The last crush I had was when i was 11. Everyone I have spoken too just hasnt appealed to me and i hate it. My standards aren't even high (they cant be because im not like a 10/10, more like a 6 or 7/10). People say that relationships aren't all that but they only say it because they are in one. They are important. Its hard not to feel valued, desired or loved when everyone around you is in a relationship or falling in love and im just watching them.
I don't care if my first relationship ends in agonizing heartbreak, I just want to experience what its like.

Omg I understand this so much. It really is easy for other people to say when they haven’t been in a relationship themselves. But equally, I think you are looking for the right things in a relationship. I assume you are looking for somebody who reciprocates a feeling towards you, which is a better start than most (many are happy with anyone who looks in their direction, which makes heartbreak inevitable). I really resonate with you saying you don’t really have crushes, because I am not all that good looking either, yet I don’t really fall for people easily, it’s almost as though I have standards haha. Although, I reckon this just means that eventually when we do find someone, we will appreciate them more, and have more value for the small things in a relationship. I can’t imagine somebody who has been in multiple relationships really values time spent with the person, or even just their presence, which I bet could make it easier for their relationships to fail. All I can say is hold tight, cos good things really do come to those who wait 🫶. Wish u all the luck, and pray for me too 😭 x

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

No, you don't want to experience agonising heartbreak just for the sake of having been in a relationship; that's not how a commitment should've viewed. Nor should you be bothering about what other people are doing or thinking it will make you feel more valued; if you aren't happy in yourself another person isn't going to be the solution and you should stop those stupid scores out of 10.

It's not that important to be in a relationship at 18, it just seems like it; you're only just at an age to be dating and education and career are more important. I'm a graduate, great job, plenty of friends and started dating at 30 and am now in an LTR with that guy.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous #2

No, you don't want to experience agonising heartbreak just for the sake of having been in a relationship; that's not how a commitment should've viewed. Nor should you be bothering about what other people are doing or thinking it will make you feel more valued; if you aren't happy in yourself another person isn't going to be the solution and you should stop those stupid scores out of 10.
It's not that important to be in a relationship at 18, it just seems like it; you're only just at an age to be dating and education and career are more important. I'm a graduate, great job, plenty of friends and started dating at 30 and am now in an LTR with that guy.

the reason why i would want agonising heartbreak is because i would rather have loved someone and someone loved me than none at all. I know its bad but thats how desperate i am to wanting to feel loved, its sad ik

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous #1

Just to get it out the way:

1.

I'm not very ugly (not perfect but like im not fat or an eye sore)

2.

I have a good personality - i've been told

3.

I have a good work ethic

4.

I have a nice group of friends and a family

5.

I don't smoke, vape. Sometimes i do drink but its only at parties which im practically go once every 3 months.

6.

I treat people nice and with respect.

7.

I've tried adding people online and talking to new people.

I'm 18 years old, haven't even held hands romantically. The last crush I had was when i was 11. Everyone I have spoken too just hasnt appealed to me and i hate it. My standards aren't even high (they cant be because im not like a 10/10, more like a 6 or 7/10). People say that relationships aren't all that but they only say it because they are in one. They are important. Its hard not to feel valued, desired or loved when everyone around you is in a relationship or falling in love and im just watching them.
I don't care if my first relationship ends in agonizing heartbreak, I just want to experience what its like.

OMG I am exactly the same! Carbon copy!
I think its somewhat of a common and a rare problem. Often the best love comes when we least expect it. I'd recommend make good friends, focus on yourself and be the best you can be. That's what I tell myself. Sometimes patience is the best thing and lets look on the bright side at least your not getting your heart broken. You are at a crucial part in life where you must focus on yourself and make an identity for yourself, no matter how much it hurts to want love from a significant other. And I also think as someone average looking like you and me with nothing outstanding in terms of look departments we must work hard in the other departments. Of course looks is not everything but I hope you get the gist of it.

i hate myself for romance

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