The Student Room Group

Suffocating in Insecurity

I’m not going to be explain my entire history with relationships but I know that girls tend to find me attractive and I have a lot going for me in the romance department. But I’m deathly insecure about my body, to the point where I get the girl into bed and don’t progress any further for fear of being judged or not living up to her standards.

I know I go after attractive women, and so they have a right to uphold similar standards when looking for a partner and would want someone physically handsome and attractive. It’s not that I’m not, it’s just that I could probably hit the gym a bit more and I’m slightly below average in size. I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic, so I unrelentingly pursue the girls I catch feelings for, and everything in the courtship phase is always the sun, the moon, and the stars for them. I’ve never taken it further than that though, and I hate myself for it every day. I don’t know if I can keep living like this.
You could try not being exclusively obsessed with physical appearance, and in particular not relate to girls solely on that basis. I.e. stop sleeping around and detox/recalibrate
Original post by Justvisited
You could try not being exclusively obsessed with physical appearance, and in particular not relate to girls solely on that basis. I.e. stop sleeping around and detox/recalibrate

God I want to. I'm so vain, and I pray for the day that I can live just one day being content with the way things are instead of dreaming about what they could be, I don't understand how to change my thinking, how to stop endlessly caring about how I'm perceived and my actions on a daily basis. When I broke up with my ex I became really hateful, got into drugs, the whole shebang. I don't know how to get back to myself. I don't know how to bring myself to go to the gym and commit to healthy habits. I want to, God knows I spend every sleepless night ruminating on the things I could do to change my situation. But it's the same **** every time. Self-loathing, depression, sometimes drugs, sometimes bad company, always ending in anger. A lot of anger. Has anyone else struggled so heavily with this aspect of self-discipline? I want to be proud of the way I live my life, I want to live semi-hedonistically, but I'm not comfortable enough with myself to put myself out there fully. I sometimes feel like getting myself lobotomised just to rid myself of that reptilian need for pleasure and easy wins all the time.

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