Cab you change you personality if you really want to?

Please keep anonymous i have friends who use this site.

i am very jealous of the type of people who don't worry about things, are very laid and just really enjoy their life and when people treat them like crap, they have the strength to just say '**** it' and then move on and be happy really quickly.

I'm not any of those things above and i really want to be. Do i just have to accept thats not who i am or can i change if i really want to?

Reply 1

BlueLips

I've tried.. didn't work.

Yes, yes you can!

You can but you have to change many other things along with it.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

dorian gray

Yes, yes you can!

Any advice?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

EFG

You can but you have to change many other things along with it.

like what?

Reply 6

ChunkymunkyDJC

12

You can, but it'd take years if you stay in the same environment. Months if you move somewhere else.

Reply 7

Sver

Imo if your a guy, its easier to change, if your a girl you need to 'let go of urself' so to speak

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

ChunkymunkyDJC

You can, but it'd take years if you stay in the same environment. Months if you move somewhere else.

I'm going into the 2nd year of uni, moving in with my friends in september so should be fine. Do you have any advice? :redface:

Yes, you can. I did.

You don't have to change who you are. Just have more confidence in yourself.
And get out there and do stuff, it will make you more outgoing.
At the end of the day, it's who you are. And you shouldn't want to change who you are.

Reply 11

Svenjamin

17

I don't think change is the right word. Change makes it sound like you can wake up one day and be a totally different person. It's more of a development. Get out there, live your life, behave how you want to and over time you'll find you've left the things you didn't like behind. Personality reflects your lifestyle, so do what you want to do and don't make too much of an effort to be a totally different person.

Reply 12

gel

ChunkymunkyDJC

You can, but it'd take years if you stay in the same environment. Months if you move somewhere else.

I agree with you. Also, they can change but they would go back to it at a certain point bec it's not the one they were used to.

Reply 13

Nemesis-Supreme

Im an actor so yeah I can do it most days

Reply 14

dorian gray

14

Anonymous

Any advice?

The only people privileged enough to have negative opinions listened to are close friends and family.

Nobody else has that privilege.

Learn to abide by that and you will gain confidence as a person.

Reply 15

Prince Rhyus

15

Svenjamin

I don't think change is the right word. Change makes it sound like you can wake up one day and be a totally different person. It's more of a development. Get out there, live your life, behave how you want to and over time you'll find you've left the things you didn't like behind. Personality reflects your lifestyle, so do what you want to do and don't make too much of an effort to be a totally different person.

This ^^^

The question is: How?

It involves moving outside of your "comfort zone" - i.e. doing stuff that you would not normally do, that makes you feel uncomfortable, involves effort, involves meeting new people, involves you learning something and that takes place over time.

The active verb is "to do"

This doesn't necessarily mean that you have to go travelling around the world on the hippy trail - spending time in hotspots surrounded by lots of people purporting to do the same thing may not "test" you. There are a whole series of things that can change people's personalities:

- Employment - especially where you have to spend time working with people who have to do those sorts of jobs day-in-day-out in order to make ends meet.
- Voluntary work - especially where you are working with people who are significantly disadvantaged compared to you or where you end up experiencing pressures that you've not felt before
- Getting out of your local area - and this doesn't mean travelling the world. A youth hostelling tour can teach you just as much about yourself as a round-the-world trip
- Evening classes - in something that you've not done before or where a bad teacher put you off. THink things like a musical instrument, singing, dancing, art, drama, a foreign language...
- Social groups/campaign groups - especially where something in your neighbourhood is going on. Is there something that you can contribute?

Reply 16

Love.Angel.Music.Baby

8

i don't think you can totally change it, but you can definitely evolve. I used to be a really insecure, bitchy person, i thought about the reasons why I was like this and I changed that, eg I was a little bi overweight, so i lost it and became happy with myself and all that stuff just went away.

maybe think about the reasons you are the way you are and work on those, you can't all of a sudden be a different person, thats just an act, you're still you underneath, you just won't let other people see it and this might make it harder to make good friends, if they never see the real you.

Reply 17

rajandkwameali

2

Anonymous

Please keep anonymous i have friends who use this site.

i am very jealous of the type of people who don't worry about things, are very laid and just really enjoy their life and when people treat them like crap, they have the strength to just say '**** it' and then move on and be happy really quickly.

I'm not any of those things above and i really want to be. Do i just have to accept thats not who i am or can i change if i really want to?