Advice on clubbing alone?

So I'm an 18 y/o girl n I love my own company, I do plenty of things on my own and I'm wanting to go clubbing but I'm not sure...

Some context is that I don't particularly enjoy going out to bars or clubs EXCEPT for one specific club night that only happens once a month so i always try to make it since its such a long wait till my next outing. Its the only goth club night in the area, I love the music, I love dancing and I love the atmosphere there - everyone's so chill and supportive that it feels safer than other clubs. I usually drag some friends there but not only are they all busy this time around, I also feel bad about it as no one in my circle seems to enjoy the music or likes dancing as much as I do so it kind of kills the buzz when they're just sitting to the side judgmentally.

I go there enough that the club owner n dj know me by name and id be able to point out the regulars, plus no ones ever been a creep there before so im confident that I very well could go out alone, but I'm cautious anyway so I'd really appreciate hearing it if anyone's got advice n tips on how to stay extra safe while I'm out drinking on my own, walking to/from, etc, thanks! (Social tips too would be cool since I have social anxiety lol !)

Reply 1

Papito Amigo

2

Original post by Oh rats!

So I'm an 18 y/o girl n I love my own company, I do plenty of things on my own and I'm wanting to go clubbing but I'm not sure...

Some context is that I don't particularly enjoy going out to bars or clubs EXCEPT for one specific club night that only happens once a month so i always try to make it since its such a long wait till my next outing. Its the only goth club night in the area, I love the music, I love dancing and I love the atmosphere there - everyone's so chill and supportive that it feels safer than other clubs. I usually drag some friends there but not only are they all busy this time around, I also feel bad about it as no one in my circle seems to enjoy the music or likes dancing as much as I do so it kind of kills the buzz when they're just sitting to the side judgmentally.

I go there enough that the club owner n dj know me by name and id be able to point out the regulars, plus no ones ever been a creep there before so im confident that I very well could go out alone, but I'm cautious anyway so I'd really appreciate hearing it if anyone's got advice n tips on how to stay extra safe while I'm out drinking on my own, walking to/from, etc, thanks! (Social tips too would be cool since I have social anxiety lol !)

Going out alone can be a fun experience! Here are some tips to stay safe: plan your route, stay aware of your surroundings, share your plans with a trusted person, watch your drink, and trust the club staff. As for social tips, strike up conversations with like-minded club-goers and enjoy your night! Stay safe and have a blast!

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Oh rats!

So I'm an 18 y/o girl n I love my own company, I do plenty of things on my own and I'm wanting to go clubbing but I'm not sure...

Some context is that I don't particularly enjoy going out to bars or clubs EXCEPT for one specific club night that only happens once a month so i always try to make it since its such a long wait till my next outing. Its the only goth club night in the area, I love the music, I love dancing and I love the atmosphere there - everyone's so chill and supportive that it feels safer than other clubs. I usually drag some friends there but not only are they all busy this time around, I also feel bad about it as no one in my circle seems to enjoy the music or likes dancing as much as I do so it kind of kills the buzz when they're just sitting to the side judgmentally.

I go there enough that the club owner n dj know me by name and id be able to point out the regulars, plus no ones ever been a creep there before so im confident that I very well could go out alone, but I'm cautious anyway so I'd really appreciate hearing it if anyone's got advice n tips on how to stay extra safe while I'm out drinking on my own, walking to/from, etc, thanks! (Social tips too would be cool since I have social anxiety lol !)

Try to get a drink cover so u dont get drugged - happened to me a few times and althoguh nothing happened in the end, I did get quite ill

Reply 3

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post by Oh rats!

So I'm an 18 y/o girl n I love my own company, I do plenty of things on my own and I'm wanting to go clubbing but I'm not sure...

Some context is that I don't particularly enjoy going out to bars or clubs EXCEPT for one specific club night that only happens once a month so i always try to make it since its such a long wait till my next outing. Its the only goth club night in the area, I love the music, I love dancing and I love the atmosphere there - everyone's so chill and supportive that it feels safer than other clubs. I usually drag some friends there but not only are they all busy this time around, I also feel bad about it as no one in my circle seems to enjoy the music or likes dancing as much as I do so it kind of kills the buzz when they're just sitting to the side judgmentally.

I go there enough that the club owner n dj know me by name and id be able to point out the regulars, plus no ones ever been a creep there before so im confident that I very well could go out alone, but I'm cautious anyway so I'd really appreciate hearing it if anyone's got advice n tips on how to stay extra safe while I'm out drinking on my own, walking to/from, etc, thanks! (Social tips too would be cool since I have social anxiety lol !)

Hi,

I used to do this a bit when I used to DJ. as I wanted to see / hear what other people were playing to see how I compare and improve my set (it's easier to focus on the music when you're on your own, rather than having to be sociable with other people).

Not gonna lie, when you're queuing to get in, you can feel a bit like a "billy-no-mates", but provided you don't draw too much attention to yourself, the people in front of you will assume you're with those behind and vice versa. Once you're inside, everyone tends to mingle anyway, so no one will notice, as long as you don't stay in one area for too long (I would stay no longer than about 10 minutes in the same spot before moving on).

So you say you go to ONE regular club... chances are you're a familiar face there... so chances are a few other people will recognise you so you're probably in a good position to chat to just about anyone there. I've not been to a goth night myself, but generally, I find people are friendlier and more approachable in music themed clubs (as opposed to your standard "ritzy" drinks themed clubs), as the love of a common music genre bonds everyone there. This can be the same for any type of music themed club from indie/ rock; various dance music styles; the decent end of hip hop / RnB; even some really cheesy retro type nights.

If it's a familiar face, then chat to them (that won't be weird) , find out their story, who they're out with, have they come from far? what song are they waiting to hear etc.

As for the safety aspect, IMHO, you'll be at significantly lower risk of getting your drink spiked than if you were at a generic "Ritzy" type club; although that's not to say it can never happen. As others have said, keep an eye on your drink, or better still, in your hand. If you leave your drink unattended, don't ever go back to it. If someone offers you a drink, go with them to the bar and witness it being dispensed.

One other thing no one has mentioned so far... remember your mates aren't around to back you up, if you get yourself in a bad situation... so I would go easy on the drinks, if I were you. Know your limits, and keep a certain amount of wits about you. I know you say the people there are "chill", but situations can flare up from nothing.

As you're a young woman on your own, I would suggest you get a pre-booked private hire vehicle... or get a friend / relative to pick you up. At the very least it saves you waiting / queuing indefinitely for a cab. Also it was really cold today, do you really wanna be wandering around in sub-zero weather?

Reply 4

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post by wheretheubi

Sounds a bit creepy to me, people will think you're there just to take advantage of vulnerable boys.

Nah,

She's a familiar face at this club, and knows the regulars.

Besides, at these kind of clubs people tend to go for the music or the general vibe. I mean, pulling does happen... but it's on a far less scale (and more discrete) than other mainstream clubs.

She's going to a niche club not going to Oceans or Tyne and Envy in the city centre.

(edited 3 months ago)

Reply 5

Oh rats!

OP

2

Original post by Anonymous #1

Try to get a drink cover so u dont get drugged - happened to me a few times and althoguh nothing happened in the end, I did get quite ill

God I'm sorry that happened to you even if nothing happened in the end! People can be sick :// tysm for the advice

Reply 6

Oh rats!

OP

2

Original post by Old Skool Freak

Hi,

I used to do this a bit when I used to DJ. as I wanted to see / hear what other people were playing to see how I compare and improve my set (it's easier to focus on the music when you're on your own, rather than having to be sociable with other people).

Not gonna lie, when you're queuing to get in, you can feel a bit like a "billy-no-mates", but provided you don't draw too much attention to yourself, the people in front of you will assume you're with those behind and vice versa. Once you're inside, everyone tends to mingle anyway, so no one will notice, as long as you don't stay in one area for too long (I would stay no longer than about 10 minutes in the same spot before moving on).

So you say you go to ONE regular club... chances are you're a familiar face there... so chances are a few other people will recognise you so you're probably in a good position to chat to just about anyone there. I've not been to a goth night myself, but generally, I find people are friendlier and more approachable in music themed clubs (as opposed to your standard "ritzy" drinks themed clubs), as the love of a common music genre bonds everyone there. This can be the same for any type of music themed club from indie/ rock; various dance music styles; the decent end of hip hop / RnB; even some really cheesy retro type nights.

If it's a familiar face, then chat to them (that won't be weird) , find out their story, who they're out with, have they come from far? what song are they waiting to hear etc.

As for the safety aspect, IMHO, you'll be at significantly lower risk of getting your drink spiked than if you were at a generic "Ritzy" type club; although that's not to say it can never happen. As others have said, keep an eye on your drink, or better still, in your hand. If you leave your drink unattended, don't ever go back to it. If someone offers you a drink, go with them to the bar and witness it being dispensed.

One other thing no one has mentioned so far... remember your mates aren't around to back you up, if you get yourself in a bad situation... so I would go easy on the drinks, if I were you. Know your limits, and keep a certain amount of wits about you. I know you say the people there are "chill", but situations can flare up from nothing.

As you're a young woman on your own, I would suggest you get a pre-booked private hire vehicle... or get a friend / relative to pick you up. At the very least it saves you waiting / queuing indefinitely for a cab. Also it was really cold today, do you really wanna be wandering around in sub-zero weather?

Heavy on the being able to focus on the music!

I appreciate all your advice tysm :^D thankfully the club rarely has lines to get in and i'll have lifts and stuff arranged.

Just wanted to ask based on what you were saying, is it really considered creepy to be out alone? I would hate to make anyone uncomfortable or anything. If it's any consolation, I'm in my ownlittle world on the dance floor haha

Reply 7

londonmyst

19

I go clubbing alone quite a lot.
I've been a carnage girl since my teens and am approaching the middle aged stage at 28.

Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense tells you.
Make sure that your id and cash always stays safe.
If something feels off or someone gives you major creepy vibes, back away quickly.

Stay in control of your booze consumption and don't allow anyone that you don't trust to handle your drink or get close enough to attempt to spike it.
Keep an eye out for thieves and grinders.
Be very wary of everyone that make clear they in clubs or outside them they are in the habit of invading other clubbers personal space.

Never ever accept a ride from an unlicenced cab driver.
Or any private hire driver that has a history of offering drunk girls free rides then either groping them/demanding oral sex/their social media usernames and phone number.

Reply 8

Oh rats!

OP

2

Original post by wheretheubi

Sounds a bit creepy to me, people will think you're there just to take advantage of vulnerable boys.

Cuz I'm so intimidating and predatory with my whole 5 feet and 1 inch 😭 couldn't even watch people across the dance floor if I wanted to, chief, too many 6 inch platforms in a goth club to be able to look over lmao

Plus I have a girlfriend

Plus I'm into girls...

Reply 9

NonIndigenous

20

I hear of lots of girls/women, even in their 30s/40s who get creeped on in nightclubs. The fact that drink spiking is so common... makes me wish we could legally break people's hands for this sort of stuff. I don't like having to worry about some of my friends getting in trouble this way.

You sound reasonably street smart, you said the other clubgoers there also seem alright, and the bar staff there know you already, so you aren't entirely 'by yourself' anyway.

Others here already gave you all the advice I think you'll need. I think you'll be fine.

If this is a longer-term / lifestyle thing for you, then I recommend taking some self-defence classes, Krav Maga specifically. The odds are eventually you will run into a sticky situation, no matter what precautions you take.

Me too

Original post by Oh rats!

Heavy on the being able to focus on the music!

I appreciate all your advice tysm :^D thankfully the club rarely has lines to get in and i'll have lifts and stuff arranged.

No problem at all... just glad I could help :smile:

Just wanted to ask based on what you were saying, is it really considered creepy to be out alone? I would hate to make anyone uncomfortable or anything. If it's any consolation,

Given the amount of horny guys out there, as a girl you're far less likely to be considered "creepy" than a guy would be in your position (ignore that other poster). Even so, you'd more likely be seen as odd / unusual rather than "creepy" per se. IMHO, the only time a guy would really be seen as creepy is if he was hanging around the dancefloor, toilets or crowded areas where there are lots of girls about.

Personally, I've never really had any problems... but then again, I'm also a hip hop dancer and I can dance at a professional standard (sorry if that sounds big-headed, but it's blatantly true). So, like yourself, I can be in my element, and people would come up and dance with me (whether that's a girl who's eye I've caught, or another guy who wants a dance-off; that's always fun lol). Furthermore, I would normally go to places out of town, where no one knew me anyway (book a hotel room).

In any case, I think ultimately, it's all about self confidence... you need to look and feel like you belong there on your own. Think of yourself like a lone wolf, rather than a lost sheep or an old wildebeest who's fallen from the heard. I think goths would probably be a bit more patient / understanding about it than your bog-standard "townie" types... Still, it's always good to have a reason / excuse why you're on your own, as purposely going out on your own may seem somewhat strange to some people. I reckon those people will know your face there anyway, so they'll know you have mates and they're just not with you tonight (for whatever reason). For me, it was always "I was supposed to meet my mates in here, but they didn't get in" or the truth, i.e. "I'm not from around here, I'm just visiting this town on a business trip" (which is technically true 😛 )

EDIT:-

I'm in my ownlittle world on the dance floor haha

This reminds me of something... an indie DJ I used to know once commented on this one girl who always used to go to his night, and she would dance the whole entire night by herself; literally, she would walk into the place and head straight to the dancefloor with only her bottle of water for company and stay there till the end. He never saw her talk to anyone, although she would smile at people.

(edited 3 months ago)

Advice on clubbing alone?

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