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Cab you change you personality if you really want to?

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Anonymous

Please keep anonymous i have friends who use this site.

i am very jealous of the type of people who don't worry about things, are very laid and just really enjoy their life and when people treat them like crap, they have the strength to just say '**** it' and then move on and be happy really quickly.

I'm not any of those things above and i really want to be. Do i just have to accept thats not who i am or can i change if i really want to?

Sounds like differences between personality types to me, although it's also a question of mentality.

The whole "be yourself" thing is completely overdone if i'm perfectly honest. Sure, we all have core personality types that make us what we are, but the blanket term that is your "personality" is made up of both nature and nurture, and it is predominantly the latter.

Nature decides whether you're introverted or extraverted (and to what degree) and how you're naturally inclined to see the world and make decisions. However, how you act, treat people, appear to people, how popular you are and so on, is defined by nurture and free will. We all have our own little lifestory, no two stories are the same, therefore no two personalities are identical blah blah blah i've rambled enough..

Long story short, you can't change that you worry about things in life (by 'worry' i mean show concern/care about) more than these people, because it's your natural inclination to do so. You can however not let it bother you (thus not let it 'worry' you in the negative sence of the word) by changing your perspective on things.

When people are nasty to you, sure it's upsetting, but everything in life is finite. Think about when someone was mean to you a few months,weeks hell even a day ago. Does it still affect you? Are you scarred? Has your life been absolutely ruined? Of course it hasn't. What people say has absolutely no bearing your on your life in the long term, whatsoever. Thus, why should it get to you?

If you can't learn from someone who is critisizing you, why give a ****? :wink:

Reply 41

Anonymous #2

alchol helps

or if not
ii suppose you have to make a good first impression of confidence, then itl be easier, so force yourself to say things

Reply 42

Anonymous #3

You can change anything about yourself, aslong as you:
- don't let people who don't want to see you improve sabotage you
- don't fear the unknown
- think about the reasons why you want to change
- think about how you will change
- think about why you want to reject your old habits
- learn how to ignore self-limiting beliefs
- take into account obvious limitatations

It's rare for someone to change (I'd say 95% of the people I come across will be the same in 10 years time), but I'm a completely different person now at almost-18 to the person I was a couple of years ago at 16 and am very different to even when I just turned 17 just under a year ago. I would still love to improve some aspects of my life further and I know how annoying saboteurs can be but a lot of the time they don't even mean to do it, and how difficult it can be to get over self-limiting beliefs but it's possible.