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    My boyfriend and I have been together for four years and have been at different uni's for a year, and are about to go into second year. So i totally understand that since we don't see each other that much during term time, he'll be watching porn etc. which im fine with anyway even if we are in the same town.. But one day i went onto his google and the menu thing appeared saying what he had searched and it said adult chat rooms...now i totally flipped because in my mind that is definitely cheating! he says his flat mate just told him about it so he decided to see what it was like but closed it quickly....i was never sure if i believed him or not.

    Now most of the time i forget about this but there are still times where i feel like i let him off too easily for it and that he's doing it behind my back. i know that relationships are built on trust and especially if we are long distance...we're not too distant during term time tho, about an hour & a half drive away.

    But anyway... i know that i probably just have to get over this cos we are amazing just now and have been ever since. But there are times where i cant get it out of my head, for some reason, like today

    Anyone else ever experienced something like this in their relationship?
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    Well there is no point in dwelling on the fact you let him off to lightly as it has happened now so you cant go back and do anything about it.

    I can see how it would get to you now and again, make you feel a little uncomfortable and nervous about the whole thing. Obviously 3 years is a long time to be in a relationship, you should by all means have enough trust for one another to cope with a LDR. I think you just need to talk to him and see what he says about it all, share you concerns, as if you keep it in it may get in the way, it may also be a useful way of getting over it and allowing the relatinship to move on instead of you dwelling a little.
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    (Original post by Jdizzle09)
    My boyfriend and I have been together for four years and have been at different uni's for a year, and are about to go into second year. So i totally understand that since we don't see each other that much during term time, he'll be watching porn etc. which im fine with anyway even if we are in the same town.. But one day i went onto his google and the menu thing appeared saying what he had searched and it said adult chat rooms...now i totally flipped because in my mind that is definitely cheating! he says his flat mate just told him about it so he decided to see what it was like but closed it quickly....i was never sure if i believed him or not.

    Now most of the time i forget about this but there are still times where i feel like i let him off too easily for it and that he's doing it behind my back. i know that relationships are built on trust and especially if we are long distance...we're not too distant during term time tho, about an hour & a half drive away.

    But anyway... i know that i probably just have to get over this cos we are amazing just now and have been ever since. But there are times where i cant get it out of my head, for some reason, like today

    Anyone else ever experienced something like this in their relationship?

    heya, i was the same with my last partner, i wouldnt mind him looking at porn coz u cant fall inlove an run off with some one u watch in a porno wen ur horny, and he was the same if i wanted to watch it, sometimes we would watch together, then one day i found out he had been on adult chat sites even though wen we layed down ground rules of what we both thought was ok that was a big no for both, i went ape****!! it was the most hurtful thing in the world, i think ur feeling liek it because theres more chance of something coming from tht than watching porn, ur totally justified.

    i explained it to him after id calmed down (which took ages) and he was like well im sorry i didnt think ud mind so much, and then he didnt do it again, just explain it to him, if ur shy about bringing it up have adrink and play up the drunken nees to use as an excuse the next day

    remember tho, if he didnt love u he wudnt be with u, if hes gonna stray theres nowt u can really do, be as open with him as u can and im sure ull do great

    hope this helped x:yes:
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    If you explain that you wanna talk to him about it so you can move on, I don't see why he can deny you that. It is definitely crossing a boundary, but he might not have even realised he was doing so. Afraid you gotta talk to him scary stuff I know but you can't bottle things up in a relationship! This sounds weird but maybe suggest that you two indulge in some dirty talk if you don't already? If he was visiting the sites more than he first told you, he may have been worried he would offend/scare you if he asked you to talk dirty to him. Hope all works out x
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    From a guy's point of view, free chat rooms really are rubbish. He probably didn't enjoy it.
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    jeez!!! not another 'love' thread!!! >.<
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    (Original post by tom_tom_tom)
    Well there is no point in dwelling on the fact you let him off to lightly as it has happened now so you cant go back and do anything about it.

    I can see how it would get to you now and again, make you feel a little uncomfortable and nervous about the whole thing. Obviously 3 years is a long time to be in a relationship, you should by all means have enough trust for one another to cope with a LDR. I think you just need to talk to him and see what he says about it all, share you concerns, as if you keep it in it may get in the way, it may also be a useful way of getting over it and allowing the relatinship to move on instead of you dwelling a little.
    Thanks for your advice! I spoke to him about it when it happened and a little while afterwards because it was still bothering me..so i dont really want to bring it up again, I guess it just comes to my mind from time to time and i'm just still getting over it maybe! its a pretty ****** thing to do as im sure most people will agree so just trying to totally move on from it really!
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    (Original post by DarylAnne)
    heya, i was the same with my last partner, i wouldnt mind him looking at porn coz u cant fall inlove an run off with some one u watch in a porno wen ur horny, and he was the same if i wanted to watch it, sometimes we would watch together, then one day i found out he had been on adult chat sites even though wen we layed down ground rules of what we both thought was ok that was a big no for both, i went ape****!! it was the most hurtful thing in the world, i think ur feeling liek it because theres more chance of something coming from tht than watching porn, ur totally justified.

    i explained it to him after id calmed down (which took ages) and he was like well im sorry i didnt think ud mind so much, and then he didnt do it again, just explain it to him, if ur shy about bringing it up have adrink and play up the drunken nees to use as an excuse the next day

    remember tho, if he didnt love u he wudnt be with u, if hes gonna stray theres nowt u can really do, be as open with him as u can and im sure ull do great

    hope this helped x:yes:
    It's nice to see someone else can totally relate! It is really hard, makes you feel sick to your stomach but i know that ur right with the fact that he must still love me if hes still with me! I guess it just bugs me from time to time..and its good to hear that other people have been in the same boat (not that i wud ever want anyone to experience it!!) but so that we can relate! i did speak to him about it at the time and afterwards as well, so in his mind it is over with & i thought it was in mine, just pops up from time to time! annoying! x
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    (Original post by Jellynubbin)
    If you explain that you wanna talk to him about it so you can move on, I don't see why he can deny you that. It is definitely crossing a boundary, but he might not have even realised he was doing so. Afraid you gotta talk to him scary stuff I know but you can't bottle things up in a relationship! This sounds weird but maybe suggest that you two indulge in some dirty talk if you don't already? If he was visiting the sites more than he first told you, he may have been worried he would offend/scare you if he asked you to talk dirty to him. Hope all works out x
    Yeah, we did speak about it after it happened, but it took a while to properly get it all out in the open, because since we were in a LDR i didnt want it taking over every visit we were having with each other! But in his mind the topic has been over and we're over it because we did get to really talk it over one night, but it does still come into my mind sometimes which bugs me. But thanks for your advice and about the dirty talking, lol..we do alot of that! haha..we are quite open about everything like that and have experimented rather a lot! So i guess i can feel ok knowing that it probably wasnt down to that
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    (Original post by booger)
    From a guy's point of view, free chat rooms really are rubbish. He probably didn't enjoy it.
    Lol, well i guess i can take comfort in that!!
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    dont worry this isnt really cheating, he just felt hornywhen you are not around, every guy does it:rolleyes: :yes: :p:
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    (Original post by Hamcock)
    jeez!!! not another 'love' thread!!! >.<
    well im sorry for the bother! lol but what did you really expect on a health & relationships board? :o:
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    If it makes you feel any better he probably relieved him self talking to a horny 15 year old boy.
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    get over it ffs hes horny
    Or set a keylogger to his computer so u can see what hes saying if your that insecure
 
 
 
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