Why is 'seeing someone' so complicated?!
Right, so in the past I've never really been casually 'seeing' someone for any length of time, it's always went from being friends to being girlfriend/boyfriend and none of the messy in-between bits.
So I started seeing this guy, we're both 22 and we've known each other for years and years. When we first started seeing about two/three weeks ago we both agreed to take things slow, I'm not long out of a relationship (about two months) and he hasn't had a proper relationship in over a year.
At first he seemed really, really keen, perhaps a little overly keen especially when he was drunk. However I keep getting a niggling feeling that this is starting to wane, although my friend keeps telling me I'm being paranoid.
I think the problem is I started to like him more than I did at the beginning and last week if I'm honest didn't really give the guy a chance to text me, or ask me to do anything because I rushed in there first and then stupidly started getting anxious about whether or not he was still interested.
When we're together sober it's lovely we talk, chat, cuddle (we haven't had sex he says he's enjoying just spending time together) and he promises me that if he wanted to just be friends he would tell me.
On Friday however he was far too drunk and I just didn't get the feeling he wanted me around when I saw him in the pub, although drink can do strange things to people. He did end up staying at mines, and we were fine in the morning.
Overall I think my problem is I'm not used to this 'seeing' situation and don't really know what to do, I'm not sure if I'm coming across overly strong or if my worries are justified at all.
Some advice on this type of relationship situation would be lovely. x
So I started seeing this guy, we're both 22 and we've known each other for years and years. When we first started seeing about two/three weeks ago we both agreed to take things slow, I'm not long out of a relationship (about two months) and he hasn't had a proper relationship in over a year.
At first he seemed really, really keen, perhaps a little overly keen especially when he was drunk. However I keep getting a niggling feeling that this is starting to wane, although my friend keeps telling me I'm being paranoid.
I think the problem is I started to like him more than I did at the beginning and last week if I'm honest didn't really give the guy a chance to text me, or ask me to do anything because I rushed in there first and then stupidly started getting anxious about whether or not he was still interested.
When we're together sober it's lovely we talk, chat, cuddle (we haven't had sex he says he's enjoying just spending time together) and he promises me that if he wanted to just be friends he would tell me.
On Friday however he was far too drunk and I just didn't get the feeling he wanted me around when I saw him in the pub, although drink can do strange things to people. He did end up staying at mines, and we were fine in the morning.
Overall I think my problem is I'm not used to this 'seeing' situation and don't really know what to do, I'm not sure if I'm coming across overly strong or if my worries are justified at all.
Some advice on this type of relationship situation would be lovely. x
Some people think it means you're exclusive.
Some people think it means you can go shagging around but have someone on tap.
Some people think it means you're heading towards a relationship.
Some people think it means you're just passing time, waiting for someone better.
Some people think it means "let's see how it goes" - and it never does.
Some people think it means test the water before jumping into a relationship.
Some people think it means... you get the idea
"Seeing" someone is the most complicated part. Because if they go with someone else, obviously you'll be hurt etc but you can't exactly be mad because you're not strictly together. >Insert any other complication here<
Some people think it means you can go shagging around but have someone on tap.
Some people think it means you're heading towards a relationship.
Some people think it means you're just passing time, waiting for someone better.
Some people think it means "let's see how it goes" - and it never does.
Some people think it means test the water before jumping into a relationship.
Some people think it means... you get the idea
"Seeing" someone is the most complicated part. Because if they go with someone else, obviously you'll be hurt etc but you can't exactly be mad because you're not strictly together. >Insert any other complication here<
Original post by ToastyCoke
Some people think it means you're exclusive.
Some people think it means you can go shagging around but have someone on tap.
Some people think it means you're heading towards a relationship.
Some people think it means you're just passing time, waiting for someone better.
Some people think it means "let's see how it goes" - and it never does.
Some people think it means test the water before jumping into a relationship.
Some people think it means... you get the idea
"Seeing" someone is the most complicated part. Because if they go with someone else, obviously you'll be hurt etc but you can't exactly be mad because you're not strictly together. >Insert any other complication here<
Some people think it means you can go shagging around but have someone on tap.
Some people think it means you're heading towards a relationship.
Some people think it means you're just passing time, waiting for someone better.
Some people think it means "let's see how it goes" - and it never does.
Some people think it means test the water before jumping into a relationship.
Some people think it means... you get the idea
"Seeing" someone is the most complicated part. Because if they go with someone else, obviously you'll be hurt etc but you can't exactly be mad because you're not strictly together. >Insert any other complication here<
Original post by Profesh
True dat.
Agree with aboves^
If you're confused about your situation then talk. Don't try to label it, don't ask other people what to label it and just work out what you both do and don't want.
If you're confused about your situation then talk. Don't try to label it, don't ask other people what to label it and just work out what you both do and don't want.
You're either with someone, or you're not. It's that simple.
Him being distant and quite turned off at points, imbibing stupid quantities, staying over at your house and subsequently repeating the process doesn't scream: 'I'm seeing someone' to me. Though that's just me, after all.
Him being distant and quite turned off at points, imbibing stupid quantities, staying over at your house and subsequently repeating the process doesn't scream: 'I'm seeing someone' to me. Though that's just me, after all.
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