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The general expectation is that the person who asks another out, is the one who pays the bill. Also, the general expectation is that the man asks the woman out. Therefore, effectively the expectation is that the man pays the bill. So far, not complicated.
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This 'expectation' was derived during a time in our culture when men not only vastly out-earned women, but also frequently women didn't have jobs, and weren't even allowed to vote. So men paying the bill was not only a gesture of good will and a means to prove themselves that they can provide for a woman, it was also purely practical. Also not complicated to understand.
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Men no longer vastly out-earn women. In fact among the younger population, women are on average out-earning men. So why the hell should those original principles apply anymore? Makes no sense in the present day. It would be pretentious. Some people struggle grasping this, but this also isn't complicated so I personally think that some people just don't want to grasp and accept this, and instead want to have their cake and eat it. They want to earn the same as men, and have boyfriends who earn more than they do who pay for their stuff. They usually are not too thick in the head, but are instead self-centred, entitled, ill-intentioned, and nonetheless too thick to be able to self-reflect on any of these things. I won't comment any further on those types.
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Also, casual dating and hook-ups are far more commonplace. Why should men be expected to foot the bill for going on dates with women, when the odds of such encounters actually leading to anything serious are statistically lower than ever? If someone is dating with real intent of pursuing a relationship with another person, sure, one person paying the bill, or both people taking turns to pay the bill, makes sense. But if you're only going to see that person once, and yet you're expected to pay the whole bill for that encounter, and you're expected to do this with all women you date... it is stupid. Some people get this, some people don't. I've known a respectable number of women who will volunteer to split the bill if they don't think there will be a 2nd date. Some women on the other hand opt for the 'hit & run' approach (see next point).
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I'll pay for a date, if I asked her out and know that she is worth it and there's reasonably high chances we will see other again and that my gesture will be reciprocated in some way (no I am not fking talking 'adult favours' and get annoyed when people suggest this). I will not pay for a date if it is the first time I've ever met her, barely know her or if she has any principles at all, and think there's a high likelihood my money is being thrown down the drain. There's a trend of embittered women in our culture (and there are even more of them on dating apps for some reason) who feel like men have taken advantage of them, and use that to justify going on lots of casual dates with naïve men off the internet who pay for their meals. This is something I have utter contempt for, and it is only one small facet of a much greater problem that I could probably write a thesis about by now. Again this isn't complicated, and most people understand this well enough when I break down the argument, but some people (those types of women) nonetheless do not care, and are unable to compute that what goes around comes around & they probably shouldn't sh*t where they eat. Good women and good men exist, and they tend to avoid those types of as.holes. Likes tend to attract more than opposites (though there are rare exceptions), and these types of women mostly have themselves to blame for the "sh*tty" men they often attract into their lives. And often the same applies to those types of men.
Reply 18
Reply 19
•
The general expectation is that the person who asks another out, is the one who pays the bill. Also, the general expectation is that the man asks the woman out. Therefore, effectively the expectation is that the man pays the bill. So far, not complicated.
•
This 'expectation' was derived during a time in our culture when men not only vastly out-earned women, but also frequently women didn't have jobs, and weren't even allowed to vote. So men paying the bill was not only a gesture of good will and a means to prove themselves that they can provide for a woman, it was also purely practical. Also not complicated to understand.
•
Men no longer vastly out-earn women. In fact among the younger population, women are on average out-earning men. So why the hell should those original principles apply anymore? Makes no sense in the present day. It would be pretentious. Some people struggle grasping this, but this also isn't complicated so I personally think that some people just don't want to grasp and accept this, and instead want to have their cake and eat it. They want to earn the same as men, and have boyfriends who earn more than they do who pay for their stuff. They usually are not too thick in the head, but instead are self-centred, entitled and ill-intentioned. I won't comment any further on those types.
•
Also, casual dating and hook-ups are far more commonplace. Why should men be expected to foot the bill for going on dates with women, when the odds of such encounters actually leading to anything serious are statistically lower than ever? If someone is dating with real intent of pursuing a relationship with another person, sure, one person paying the bill, or both people taking turns to pay the bill, makes sense. But if you're only going to see that person once, and yet you're expected to pay the whole bill for that encounter, and you're expected to do this with all women you date... it is stupid. Some people get this, some people don't. I've known a respectable number of women who will volunteer to split the bill if they don't think there will be a 2nd date. Some women on the other hand opt for the 'hit & run' approach (see next point).
•
I'll pay for a date, if I asked her out and know that she is worth it and there's reasonably high chances we will see other again and that my gesture will be reciprocated in some way (no I am not fking talking 'adult favours' and get annoyed when people suggest this). I will not pay for a date if it is the first time I've ever met her, barely know her or if she has any principles at all, and think there's a high likelihood my money is being thrown down the drain. There's a trend of embittered women in our culture (and there are even more of them on dating apps for some reason) who feel like men have taken advantage of them, and use that to justify going on lots of casual dates with naïve men off the internet who pay for their meals. This is something I have utter contempt for. Again this isn't complicated, and most people understand this well enough when I break down the argument, but some people (those types of women) nonetheless do not care.
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Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.