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Craving friends beyond the scope of my boyfriend

This is a bit long and annoying, but for anyone who bears with me, I really appreciate your help! I don't really know why but for some reason during the end of high school and the beginning of university I became really scared of socializing. I wasn't really noticeably awkward or anything but I would cringe when I was around people and rarely felt happily in the moment with others. I started to spend a lot of time alone studying and developed a little paranoia, I think. I don't think it's really clear to people on the outside. They just think I'm really self-absorbed. But anyway, I've grown and changed a lot over the course of university and had many wonderful experiences and realized the importance of friendship. However, I'm in a situation now where I only have a few acquaintances here and there and no solid relationships to draw upon, even though I desperately crave friendship. I have a boyfriend but he is also a bit on the antisocial side because he is either studying or hanging out with me, but I realize this is unhealthy because I really need girlfriends to chit chat with and can't rely on him to fulfill all my emotional needs. But how do I go about changing? I don't want to be stuck like this. Also, I have a few old friends from home that I'm desperate to reconnect with but I haven't talked with them for years. What should I do? Thank you so much!

Reply 1

TimD

Original post by azalia

I have a few old friends from home that I'm desperate to reconnect with but I haven't talked with them for years. What should I do? Thank you so much!

I'd say reconnecting with them would be a good start. I've reconnected with old school friends recently and its amazing just how well you will still be able to get on, plus you'll have loads to talk about! If you have them on facebook, just talk to them, say you'd like to meet up with them, suggest a time and place and take it from there.

To build more solid relationships you'd have to be more pro-active in getting to know people. Maybe arrange to have lunch together somewhere, or go to a park, just something that will allow you to simply talk and get to know the other people better.

Reply 2

theoneandonlybenja

To put it bluntly; if you feel unfulfilled because you don't have any close girl friends then you're going to have to suck it up (your nervousness) and go out socialising with your existing but distant friends and also go out just to mix with people you don't know. You'll hate it at first but trust me, the more you do it the easier it'll get and the more friends you'll make. Best of luck. :wink: