Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner?

I've changed my mind, I think I would give it up for that person.
I would prefer to have that someone than have the perfect career but be very lonely.
I don't think that the perfect person or career exists though to be honest.

My dreams are to see the world, earn a good wage and have the family, dog, nice home! If I could do all that with my current boyfriend (or someone I love as much and who makes me as happy, as sometimes things don't work out) then ill have all I wanted. May not be the most exciting dreams to everyone, but they're mine.

In answer to the question I'd always chose love, money is great but it doesnt bring happiness if you don't have someone you love to share it with, for me anyway! So yeah, I'd give up the life of a great job where I make good money but come home to a loveless marriage/to an empty house for a life with a less paid job which I don't enjoy as much but I can come home to a loving husband and family every night!

What a remarkable ambition you have there.

I'm not the type to revolve my little life around some guy.

Why do you assume that if you go for the career option you become lonely?

Who would you have to share it with? If you chose the "perfect" career over the "perfect" person then clearly you're going to get lonely because you can't share it. Very few people wouldn't get lonely.

Remember it's about perfect career v perfect partner, NOT money v love.

Looking at what you've wrote, you said "see the world".

Would you give that up (i.e. stay the same place for the rest of your life) to have a "loving family"?

No.

In my opinion, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong because it is only an opinion based on a tiny bit of something you have wrote on a forum, I think you have never been in love, and therefore never experienced the happiness it brings, unlike anything else. Happiness that cannot be felt from any career or fancy car. You are worried about never experiencing that happiness so concentrate on convincing yourself more than others that you will lead a happier life without someone, that you don't need anyone. If this is the case I think your whole opinion would change if you met someone and fell for them.

It could however also be the complete opposite, you have been in love before, very in love and got burned, which is why you have decided you will never risk that happening again so will never let yourself fall for someone again. If that is the case, and you probably won't admit any of this even if it is, time will heal and you will eventually find the right person for you.

As I said I don't believe you would admit it if hit the nail on the head anywhere there, it may be that you are one of the tiny percentage that want to be own there own in life, however I highly doubt it as most people who say those things are usually trying to convince themselves the life they ended up with is the life they wanted.

I've surprised nobody has mentioned this; friends

They're important too and you can enjoy a lot with them too.

Once again AS, people still convincing themselves that they have to get married etc etc.

And they tell me I'm convincing myself that I'll be happier alone.

I have more control of my ideal future than my ideal partner. In fact, if I fail to achieve the ideal partner, there was nothing I could do to stop it. If I fail to achieve my ideal future, it's because of reasons relating with me.

Actually, in my ideal future, I don't need an ideal partner. My ideal future will happen, irrespective if I find the perfect man.

I'm not the type to revolve my little life around some guy.

Any reasons as to why?

Trust me, in my experience, meeting a person and falling in love with them - well, I didn't experience happiness, if anything I experienced sadness.

So don't be too quick to judge that love = happiness.

And yes, I can live a good life without "someone". Why ever not?



Answered the above bit before reading this. But anyways, I can't count of "finding the right person for you". In fact, I don't care about finding the right person. Why do you say it as if it is necessary to "fall in love and get married" and what not?



Why can't you accept that it is not necessary to follow the "marriage-kids-death" route?

Firstly, because I would never expect anyone to drop their dreams etc for me. So why should it work the other way?

Secondly, I have had these dreams and career aspirations for a very long time now. I know I want to be successful at what I do and don't see why I should drop years of careful planning for someone else.

Thirdly and most importantly. I don't actually want to settle down. I want to travel and see sights all over the world and cannot see myself settling into a suitable routine for a very long time, it will be hard for me to find someone who appreciates this. People ask me why I still see myself single at 30 and would I find this lonely. They speak as though not having a partner means I will therefore have no contact with anyone else.

I guess it comes down to how career driven I am. Happiness to me is succeeding in my career, meeting a guy is just an added extra.

On top of it all I feel I would be settling for second best if I found someone who I had to drop my future for. I'm not really sure how to explain this, but the kind of partner I am looking for is someone who will understand that I also have plans of my own. It is also important that my partner be as keen as I am to travel and be just as dynamic.

Just out of curiosity, do you think your opinion would differ any if you were with someone you loved very much, and had been with this person for a long time?