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Girls, why doesn't there seem to be interest in marriage & kids these days?

Just kind of looking at the figures that many more people are living single lives & falling birth rate. Even on here many posts mostly from guts that are single, struggle to date and seem left out on a limb.

Surely it's much more pleasant to get together with a guy and have kids, a life?

I just can't see how anyone could be happy staying as a singleton facing a future that is likely get more & more lonely as time goes on. Sure some I get it can enjoy time out with friends & on themselves etc but over time I get the impression that kind of dwindles, family members may pass on etc and people risk being left very lonely. Just seems a sad outlook for the future in doing that to me.

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Original post by Anonymous
Just kind of looking at the figures that many more people are living single lives & falling birth rate. Even on here many posts mostly from guts that are single, struggle to date and seem left out on a limb.

Surely it's much more pleasant to get together with a guy and have kids, a life?

I just can't see how anyone could be happy staying as a singleton facing a future that is likely get more & more lonely as time goes on. Sure some I get it can enjoy time out with friends & on themselves etc but over time I get the impression that kind of dwindles, family members may pass on etc and people risk being left very lonely. Just seems a sad outlook for the future in doing that to me.

When they get older and get out their ‘hot girl summer phase’ they begin to regret their decisions ,get desperate and settle for anything which then results in more failed relationships.
On top of that women expect to get the top 0.1% of men when in reality most of them are average looking women so they turn down decent men just because they’re not making that 6 figure salary. Again this is all social media’s fault giving women unreal expectations
Well, like everything in life, it's a faze. Society goes through many different fazes each era. It just so happens that this era has become the era of feminism. Of course it's always been here but it's really ignited in the modern era.

Women are realising they don't HAVE to just find a guy, settle down and have kids to feel secure etc... they're realising THEY can financially support themselves if they so wish. They realise they can travel alone if they so wish.

They realise most of the traditional ways in which we all lived are now not mandatory. (There is no right or wrong way of course) but women in general have definately been raised to believe they 'need' that family life. In a way, you can argue women were merely brainwashed, and they are now opening up to idea that in reality, they don't NEED to do any different to men. They can now dictate their fate.

It obviously goes without saying that there are still many many women who still want the family life. For some, it's their dream to grow up, meet a handsome guy and have two kids and live in a a big house etc.... and that's great, but like i said, for a long time, ALL women were basically brainwashed that's what they needed to do.

Whereas these days, they realising that's not actually the case!
Original post by Anonymous
Because the western world portray this idea of working for an employer as being freedom but if u work for ur family apparently you are depressed (I understand in some scenarios it is acc oppressive, but that’s the minority)Then u have these hoe celebrities who promote promiscuity and now a below average women can just go on OF and sell her body and make absolute bank.

Funny thing is these are the same people who call themselves feminists. They say why do men objectify us when they are directly involved in furthering the problem.Then they say my body my choice but go against their core principles as feminists and get annoyed when men objectify them. Like ur selling urself online what do u think men are gonna think of u. And it’s a high majority of women with daddy problems looking for validation from men.


Just when I thought life couldn't get any worse :frown:

I just think we're heading for a train wreak here. Most men being innocent victims while women are mistakenly thinking they can have it all and it's gonna work out. It's kind of unsettling to see it all unfolding while many women seem oblivious to it all.

I don't see there being any winners in all of this, I think both women and a lot of men who had nothing to do with it being brought about will end up in a very sad place in their lives.
I kind of get the impression it's society and no wishing to blame all women but largely many women who are kind of trying to mash thing up and see if it can be worked a better way, for them, and don't really see that it's just not so easy.
Could be many reasons but the first one that comes to mind is the fear of commitment. When you get married at least in the traditional way, you vow that you are never gonna leave that person unless death separates you. At least that's what marriage symbolizes. It represents that strong connection between the two people. A lot of people are not ready for that type of commitment. We know from statistics that divorces are actually quite common and about half of the marriages fail. It's very difficult to find a person with whom you can have such strong connection and a lot of people cannot imagine living with someone for the rest of their lives.

And secondly, a lot of people realize that they don't need someone else to be happy as long as they're happy on their own, doing their own thing. Like someone said, all of the things in the modern society about women showing off their bodies is true, but if this is the way that they want to live their life and they're happy about it, no one can say that it's wrong. Western society has advanced to new levels. We no longer have these traditional ways of living. Marriage as a tradition is now gone.
Been married and divorced myself very young in my 20s, I quickly realised the traditional marriage isn’t sustainable anymore. A man can’t provide for the family by himself and expect the wife to work but husbands aren’t expected to do any childcare. I quickly resented this kind of dynamic.
Original post by Anonymous
Could be many reasons but the first one that comes to mind is the fear of commitment. When you get married at least in the traditional way, you vow that you are never gonna leave that person unless death separates you. At least that's what marriage symbolizes. It represents that strong connection between the two people. A lot of people are not ready for that type of commitment. We know from statistics that divorces are actually quite common and about half of the marriages fail. It's very difficult to find a person with whom you can have such strong connection and a lot of people cannot imagine living with someone for the rest of their lives.

And secondly, a lot of people realize that they don't need someone else to be happy as long as they're happy on their own, doing their own thing. Like someone said, all of the things in the modern society about women showing off their bodies is true, but if this is the way that they want to live their life and they're happy about it, no one can say that it's wrong. Western society has advanced to new levels. We no longer have these traditional ways of living. Marriage as a tradition is now gone.


I get that women are in fear of commitment & all the stuff that having family brings. I kind of think ducking that though and I think that is what a lot of women do is kind of just creating a bigger problem further down the track.

I don't really see it as society advancing to new levels I see it less as an advancement and more as a big miss step to something that will end up in a not good place. I can see how many women may see it as an advancement but think they are only seeing what's before they're eyes, the plus sides and not the negatives looming up the road.
Original post by Anonymous
Just kind of looking at the figures that many more people are living single lives & falling birth rate. Even on here many posts mostly from guts that are single, struggle to date and seem left out on a limb.

Surely it's much more pleasant to get together with a guy and have kids, a life?

I just can't see how anyone could be happy staying as a singleton facing a future that is likely get more & more lonely as time goes on. Sure some I get it can enjoy time out with friends & on themselves etc but over time I get the impression that kind of dwindles, family members may pass on etc and people risk being left very lonely. Just seems a sad outlook for the future in doing that to me.

Not everybody wants children. Not everybody wants to get married. Single people in their 40s and 50s can still be happy.

For example, some people have been parentified, meaning they've been forced to take on adult responsibilities over their younger siblings from a young age due to absent parents, so therefore don't wish to have children of their own in adulthood because they're already over it. Some people cannot have children and are content with it. Some people know that for various reasons, including debilitating health conditions and trauma, they would not be the parent that they want to be, so they actively decide not to have children. Some people think there are already too many children in the world and don't want to add to that. Also, some people don't want to be tied down by children because they understand that it is a lifelong commitment and prefer their freedom.

I wouldn't say this is a sad outlook in any way. In fact, it is more responsible than having kids for the sake of them, abusing them or giving them trauma, and living in misery and loneliness in your older years when your children and the loved ones they shared the abuse with go no contact with you. Additionally, it is much more responsible than using children as pawns for profit and your own benefit as we see in family influencers.

As well as that, there are legal reasons and personal reasons why someone will choose not to marry. Some people don't want to share their assets with their partner. Some people don't want their partner to inherit their debt when they die. Some people think marriage is outdated or want to avoid becoming part of the high divorce rate. Some people want to wait until they are 100% sure that they can spend the rest of their life with their partner. These people aren't living unpleasant lives just because they aren't engaging in societal norms. Also, some people might give up on relationships as a whole because of bad experiences, and they might decide to remain single after finding out that they are happiest that way.

On top of that, people can have fulfilling careers. People can engage in their hobbies or create a side business on top of their job. People can volunteer or be active in their local communities. People can become teachers and have some of the benefits of parenthood (watching and helping children mature into independent adults) without the permanent commitment. In addition, people can go on adventures by themselves and do what they like in the world without a partner or children if they have a stable income. Some people prefer this.

You might want to find a partner and have children. That's fine. However, not everybody wants to find a partner and have children, and not everybody should want to just because of your opinion.
Also depends on finanical reasons. With marriage you are liable to loads of tax including when you have kids or when you pass away and give them all your stuff. I'm not sure if its finanically better to just live together unmarried as I dont know the pros/cons of this but I do know you pay lots of **** when married. However you can also get stuff like insurance or loans cheaper as its considered 'more stable' to be married by finanical institutions so youre more likely to be organised and pay it all or whatever. Which also might explain why they feel you can be taxed more. Double edged sword.
Original post by SagaciousSag
Not everybody wants children. Not everybody wants to get married. Single people in their 40s and 50s can still be happy.

For example, some people have been parentified, meaning they've been forced to take on adult responsibilities over their younger siblings from a young age due to absent parents, so therefore don't wish to have children of their own in adulthood because they're already over it. Some people cannot have children and are content with it. Some people know that for various reasons, including debilitating health conditions and trauma, they would not be the parent that they want to be, so they actively decide not to have children. Some people think there are already too many children in the world and don't want to add to that. Also, some people don't want to be tied down by children because they understand that it is a lifelong commitment and prefer their freedom.

I wouldn't say this is a sad outlook in any way. In fact, it is more responsible than having kids for the sake of them, abusing them or giving them trauma, and living in misery and loneliness in your older years when your children and the loved ones they shared the abuse with go no contact with you. Additionally, it is much more responsible than using children as pawns for profit and your own benefit as we see in family influencers.

As well as that, there are legal reasons and personal reasons why someone will choose not to marry. Some people don't want to share their assets with their partner. Some people don't want their partner to inherit their debt when they die. Some people think marriage is outdated or want to avoid becoming part of the high divorce rate. Some people want to wait until they are 100% sure that they can spend the rest of their life with their partner. These people aren't living unpleasant lives just because they aren't engaging in societal norms. Also, some people might give up on relationships as a whole because of bad experiences, and they might decide to remain single after finding out that they are happiest that way.

On top of that, people can have fulfilling careers. People can engage in their hobbies or create a side business on top of their job. People can volunteer or be active in their local communities. People can become teachers and have some of the benefits of parenthood (watching and helping children mature into independent adults) without the permanent commitment. In addition, people can go on adventures by themselves and do what they like in the world without a partner or children if they have a stable income. Some people prefer this.

You might want to find a partner and have children. That's fine. However, not everybody wants to find a partner and have children, and not everybody should want to just because of your opinion.


I get the problems and issues but a lot of them have been created by a society falling apart. The present model means it's seems to be falling apart even worse. If we create conditions for stable two parent families then that can be a better place.

I don't see how anyone would prefer a career, it's basically a job, most are joyless and when your Employer is done with you or vice versa they just find another person to fill the job. It's basically functionary the Employer in reality couldn't really care less for the Employee, their is no caring relationship there.

For men the statistics are around 3 times greater than women for those that decide to end it all. Highest is those men that are single, divorced single and in the 45 - 54 age group. That's not a great result for society really or of course them. For men at least and even sone women that can't be a pleasant place for them to be.

I just think aside from the points you mention many women are choosing being single as a lifestyle choice and not realising that forgoing the responsibility isn't eventually going to end them in a good place.
Original post by Anonymous
I get the problems and issues but a lot of them have been created by a society falling apart. The present model means it's seems to be falling apart even worse. If we create conditions for stable two parent families then that can be a better place.

I don't see how anyone would prefer a career, it's basically a job, most are joyless and when your Employer is done with you or vice versa they just find another person to fill the job. It's basically functionary the Employer in reality couldn't really care less for the Employee, their is no caring relationship there.

For men the statistics are around 3 times greater than women for those that decide to end it all. Highest is those men that are single, divorced single and in the 45 - 54 age group. That's not a great result for society really or of course them. For men at least and even sone women that can't be a pleasant place for them to be.

I just think aside from the points you mention many women are choosing being single as a lifestyle choice and not realising that forgoing the responsibility isn't eventually going to end them in a good place.

A career isnt like that. If you get into a good company they will invest in you and treat you really well and in most cases it ends up feeling like a family. And you dont know that them staying single wont end up in a good place. Single women live longer than those who are married.
Original post by Anonymous
A career isnt like that. If you get into a good company they will invest in you and treat you really well and in most cases it ends up feeling like a family. And you dont know that them staying single wont end up in a good place. Single women live longer than those who are married.


That's the problem, women are seeing that but not recognising that it's not really like that. You leave or resign from a company and five minutes after you've left they've forgotten who you are lol. Men know this as they're is the tradition of working in the work place and stories get passed on. All the PR stuff in the company's booklet or website about them caring etc is mostly bs. I don't go out looking for companies that might treat me 'really well' as I know having a life is not going to be found there.

In the US I think the figure is around 75 percent of people don't like their work. I just don't see the workplace as being the solution to society's growing issues.

I can't see that staying single will end in a good place. Generally it's going to lead to loniness, isolation and having no one caring about you or vice versa. I'm pretty sure we're on a self destructive path here and it's not going to be a pretty sight.
Original post by Anonymous
That's the problem, women are seeing that but not recognising that it's not really like that. You leave or resign from a company and five minutes after you've left they've forgotten who you are lol. Men know this as they're is the tradition of working in the work place and stories get passed on. All the PR stuff in the company's booklet or website about them caring etc is mostly bs. I don't go out looking for companies that might treat me 'really well' as I know having a life is not going to be found there.

Nah from my experience with companies and people I've spoken to, these particular companies (a mix of small and very large) care about their employees and any concerns. This is also evident by how much mental health support companies now provide, activities outside work (one large company had a different activity like paintballing a week) and how these companies I am speaking off offer hybrid working or at least Fridays off.

I'm speaking about the engineering sector, reality is working as someone who is lower down in a large company will get you treated worse.

It also seems like you're saying women can't live without men and acting like men know so much more. Also you can be in a relationship and not be married for the rest of your life.
Original post by Anonymous
Funny thing is these are the same people who call themselves feminists. They say why do men objectify us when they are directly involved in furthering the problem.Then they say my body my choice but go against their core principles as feminists and get annoyed when men objectify them. Like ur selling urself online what do u think men are gonna think of u. And it’s a high majority of women with daddy problems looking for validation from men.

Another thing with this is girls I'm see around particularly this year seem to be wearing tighter and tighter fitting clothing. Either something that looks like cycling shorts with g string underneath & tight fitting top or a real short tight fitting dress with g string underneath.

While that is lovely to see (though the g string can be a bit chav) it's kind of strange that girls go that lurid but many aren't so interested in men, world just seems to be getting so perculiar.

Even see girls that are really too young wearing that stuff, basically just still children which is kind of dodgy stuff to let your child wear from a safeguarding point of view I would have thought.
Original post by Anonymous
Another thing with this is girls I'm see around particularly this year seem to be wearing tighter and tighter fitting clothing. Either something that looks like cycling shorts with g string underneath & tight fitting top or a real short tight fitting dress with g string underneath.

While that is lovely to see (though the g string can be a bit chav) it's kind of strange that girls go that lurid but many aren't so interested in men, world just seems to be getting so perculiar.

Even see girls that are really too young wearing that stuff, basically just still children which is kind of dodgy stuff to let your child wear from a safeguarding point of view I would have thought.


Yeah with children its weird. But you mentioned "many arent so interested in men". Has it struck you that maybe potentially they dont care about what the men think about them and just want to look and feel good. I feel good wearing a gym top that shows off my muscles and I'm not looking for female validation. Have you ever considered women are just doing it for themselves
Original post by Anonymous
Nah from my experience with companies and people I've spoken to, these particular companies (a mix of small and very large) care about their employees and any concerns. This is also evident by how much mental health support companies now provide, activities outside work (one large company had a different activity like paintballing a week) and how these companies I am speaking off offer hybrid working or at least Fridays off.

I'm speaking about the engineering sector, reality is working as someone who is lower down in a large company will get you treated worse.

It also seems like you're saying women can't live without men and acting like men know so much more. Also you can be in a relationship and not be married for the rest of your life.


Is it really all that big a deal that you can go paintballing and get a bit of time if on Friday? I mean ok it's better than not but in my book I don't think 'oh wow, that's better than having a life outside of work'. It's kind of a cheap fix and bit really all that, I would think I was being bought off cheap as a bit of a stunt by companies doing that. I don't think it's really caring about someone just punting up a few quick fixes.

Mental health is a growing problem and I see a lot of it as society moving away from stable family relationships and thinking that employment as a career is that answer.

You don't necessarily have to be married that's fine but I just kind of meant in the question that as one form of long term relationship.
Original post by Anonymous
Is it really all that big a deal that you can go paintballing and get a bit of time if on Friday? I mean ok it's better than not but in my book I don't think 'oh wow, that's better than having a life outside of work'. It's kind of a cheap fix and bit really all that, I would think I was being bought off cheap as a bit of a stunt by companies doing that. I don't think it's really caring about someone just punting up a few quick fixes.

Mental health is a growing problem and I see a lot of it as society moving away from stable family relationships and thinking that employment as a career is that answer.

You don't necessarily have to be married that's fine but I just kind of meant in the question that as one form of long term relationship.


Nah those were just examples of things companies do. Of course you need a life outside work - but bear in mind a third of your week is spent at work - why not enjoy it. The companies I've heard of and worked at have treated me like family and all of us felt that. You could even think of employers as relationships.

In terms of your last point - I dont think your initial forum title bears any weight then as I'd argue most people do still end up in long term relationships. I think youve just created some view that women just want to get with loads of men and impress as many as possible and dont want to settle down with someone anymore. You should try look at them differently - it will affect your own relationships if you have opinions or insecurities such as these
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah with children its weird. But you mentioned "many arent so interested in men". Has it struck you that maybe potentially they dont care about what the men think about them and just want to look and feel good. I feel good wearing a gym top that shows off my muscles and I'm not looking for female validation. Have you ever considered women are just doing it for themselves


With what? A 'here's my a r s e world' kind of statement. I mean you can literally see the woman's a r s e whether you wanted to or not. Go down the beach and it's literally their bare bums out for viewing. I'm not really prudish so I am happy to view but if their was anyone a bit more uptight they literally would have a bare bum in their face.

Surely they could look good in fully covered loose fitting garments if they are not doing it to look good to men. It's kind of a strange statement as they are surely not going to to do it for themselves, to turn themselves on???
Original post by Anonymous
Nah those were just examples of things companies do. Of course you need a life outside work - but bear in mind a third of your week is spent at work - why not enjoy it. The companies I've heard of and worked at have treated me like family and all of us felt that. You could even think of employers as relationships.

In terms of your last point - I dont think your initial forum title bears any weight then as I'd argue most people do still end up in long term relationships. I think youve just created some view that women just want to get with loads of men and impress as many as possible and dont want to settle down with someone anymore. You should try look at them differently - it will affect your own relationships if you have opinions or insecurities such as these


That's what I mean but women seem to be looking for what you highlight at the workplace as an antidote to a life outside of work - i.e dating & having family.

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