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Is it bad that I DON'T want to be an 'independent woman'? Watch

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    I don't want to be an independent woman, in fact even the thought makes me melancholic. I want to find the love of my life, take care of each other and grow old with him. I want to be one of those really old couples you still see holding hands. I want to build a strong and loving family and raise children, and grandchildren.

    I've never bought into this whole 'I don't need a man' thing, because I admit that do. I want to give my love, nurturing, support to my future partner and make sure he feels needed and accepted. I want to receive protection, guidance and build trust and intimacy. Whilst I've unfortunately never had a boyfriend, men have done a lot for me, not least my own father who's love I need very much as well. I don't think that I was made to walk this earth alone just chasing after a corporate dream, pleasing my boss, buying designer bags and stashing coins in the bank.

    I'm currently a student at a 'Top 10' uni and whilst I enjoy and put a lot of work into my subject I know it's not everything. I want a decent career to co-provide for a future family but I know I will have to make many sacrifices in my career progression order to have a family and I'm okay with that. I see far more fulfilment and joy in that. And whilst I have 40+ years to progress my career I only have 15 or so in which to have children which worries me far more.

    What do you guys all think?
    Should I forget it all and become 'Miss Independent?'
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    You can want the 'typical' housewife life and still have your independence, it's not necessarily about having things if your own it's being able to think for yourself and make your own choices which would include deciding on your relationship situation, nothing wrong with it imo
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know I will have to make many sacrifices in my career progression order to have a family and I'm okay with that. I see far more fulfilment and joy in that. And whilst I have 40+ years to progress my career I only have 15 or so in which to have children which worries me far more.

    What do you guys all think?
    Should I forget it all and become 'Miss Independent?'
    If you're happy with that, then no, you definitely shouldn't try to be/do something you don't want to. Also your idea of Miss Independent seems to be the opposite of everything you said and actually being so independent isn't good for society. Men and women should definitely help other out. But you don't have to be independent just by not having a family and focussing on your career, there's other ways of being independent like making sure you can stand on your own two feet and not acting like some sort of robot for those around you/being limited by just doing whats told/ "expected" of you. Doing your own thing, pursuing your goals while having a family, shows independence too.
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    You can want the 'typical' housewife life and still have your independence, it's not necessarily about having things if your own it's being able to think for yourself and make your own choices which would include deciding on your relationship situation, nothing wrong with it imo
    I never said I wanted to be housewife. I said I don't mind my career progress being stunted whilst I have a family, and that family is more important to me than career. I still want to co-provide for my family.
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    It's your choice, of course. But know that you can have both.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I never said I wanted to be housewife. I said I don't mind my career progress being stunted whilst I have a family, and that family is more important to me than career. I still want to co-provide for my family.
    Oh right, you made it seem like you wanted to depend on your partner but regardless it's entirely up to you, as long as you both respect and support one another, you can do what you want
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    It's your choice, of course. But know that you can have both.
    I don't believe that you can 'have it all'. I think the young children would be quite neglected in day care for 36 hours a week.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't believe that you can 'have it all'. I think the young children would be quite neglected in day care for 36 hours a week.
    You can have both without neglecting your children. I never said at the same time.
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    Oh right, you made it seem like you wanted to depend on your partner but regardless it's entirely up to you, as long as you both respect and support one another, you can do what you want
    Yes I would be depending on him for love, protection and companionship etc. It's just that in terms of sacrificing for the children I would probably be the one doing most of that. We would be working as a team and a unit, so not independent at all (although, not 100% dependent either).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes I would be depending on him for love, protection and companionship etc. It's just that in terms of sacrificing for the children I would probably be the one doing most of that. We would be working as a team and a unit, so not independent at all (although, not 100% dependent either).
    That's actually a very common set up for families
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    That's actually a very common set up for families
    Yes that's true, it is now. But with the rise of embracing the 'independent woman' role and more and more children been born to single mothers who want to 'do it on their own' and set to become the majority, and a rise of women opting out of motherhood altogether I think the family unit as we know it is changing and such a set up will no longer be all that common.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes that's true, it is now. But with the rise of embracing the 'independent woman' role and more and more children been born to single mothers who want to 'do it on their own' and set to become the majority, and a rise of women opting out of motherhood altogether I think the family unit as we know it is changing and such a set up will no longer be all that common.
    A lot of rising independence in women relates to their right to make their own choices and your relationship/career choice is as valid as that of anyone else
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    You seem like a really nice person. Which is refreshing. You could balance it out by having a part tine job. You would have extra hours with the family but not be completly bored.
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    no it's not bad at all don't listen to these stupid memes/quotes about having *Insert bullsht here* goals 'baby girl' and gettin dat booty cos half of these girls ain't gonna do jack sht.
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    I agree. i dont want to be independent woman. ad rather not have the stress of working whilst raising a young family and looking after a household. once my future children have gone through the first stages of life and become more independent then i wouldn't mind working when married.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to be an independent woman, in fact even the thought makes me melancholic. I want to find the love of my life, take care of each other and grow old with him. I want to be one of those really old couples you still see holding hands. I want to build a strong and loving family and raise children, and grandchildren.

    I've never bought into this whole 'I don't need a man' thing, because I admit that do. I want to give my love, nurturing, support to my future partner and make sure he feels needed and accepted. I want to receive protection, guidance and build trust and intimacy. Whilst I've unfortunately never had a boyfriend, men have done a lot for me, not least my own father who's love I need very much as well. I don't think that I was made to walk this earth alone just chasing after a corporate dream, pleasing my boss, buying designer bags and stashing coins in the bank.

    I'm currently a student at a 'Top 10' uni and whilst I enjoy and put a lot of work into my subject I know it's not everything. I want a decent career to co-provide for a future family but I know I will have to make many sacrifices in my career progression order to have a family and I'm okay with that. I see far more fulfilment and joy in that. And whilst I have 40+ years to progress my career I only have 15 or so in which to have children which worries me far more.

    What do you guys all think?
    Should I forget it all and become 'Miss Independent?'
    This is something I've been commenting on recently or thinking in my head. I think feminism is creating a female version of emasculation for a lot of women. The incessant need for equality in every form is detracting from our biological determinism. Women are the caring sex- we have been built like that over all of evolutionary time. Women who advocate for feminism need to be careful that yes, we want to move towards this ideal of equal opportunities but we need to be mindful of the biological restrictions within that. We are still a species, animals, and we still need to prosper on that level. This, for example, is demonstrated where in Western countries where gender equality is basically a thing for all intents and purposes, birth rate is falling below replacement level, leading to governments to incentivise families to have children. Some of my friends never wanted to go to university and wanted to stay at home and have kids and be a stay at home mum. Everyone is entitled to that choice and we should all be respectful of each other's individual preferences.
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    I agree, I really don't want to work I cant be bothered. Id much rather stay at home and lool after the kids and the husband goes to work.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to be an independent woman, in fact even the thought makes me melancholic. I want to find the love of my life, take care of each other and grow old with him. I want to be one of those really old couples you still see holding hands. I want to build a strong and loving family and raise children, and grandchildren.

    I've never bought into this whole 'I don't need a man' thing, because I admit that do. I want to give my love, nurturing, support to my future partner and make sure he feels needed and accepted. I want to receive protection, guidance and build trust and intimacy. Whilst I've unfortunately never had a boyfriend, men have done a lot for me, not least my own father who's love I need very much as well. I don't think that I was made to walk this earth alone just chasing after a corporate dream, pleasing my boss, buying designer bags and stashing coins in the bank.

    I'm currently a student at a 'Top 10' uni and whilst I enjoy and put a lot of work into my subject I know it's not everything. I want a decent career to co-provide for a future family but I know I will have to make many sacrifices in my career progression order to have a family and I'm okay with that. I see far more fulfilment and joy in that. And whilst I have 40+ years to progress my career I only have 15 or so in which to have children which worries me far more.

    What do you guys all think?
    Should I forget it all and become 'Miss Independent?'
    Everyone os different.

    You get females that are less independent and want a independent man.

    You get males that are less independent and want a independent female.

    You get women that are more masculine and males that are more feminine. Etc

    Everyone is different, different preferences.

    Just need to find the other half that matches with your preference.


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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    A lot of rising independence in women relates to their right to make their own choices and your relationship/career choice is as valid as that of anyone else
    I like that way of looking at it
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by bassbabe)
    I agree, I really don't want to work I cant be bothered. Id much rather stay at home and lool after the kids and the husband goes to work.
    Staying at home with the kids and keeping the house in order is still a lot of work lol.
 
 
 
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