Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner?

In a way yes. It seems the only advantage they have is "love" (oh wow!).

Imo, love prevents people from achieving their true potential.

You're still a virgin aren't you?

...now, don't lie.

By "perfect", I meant the aesthetic and the "personality" qualities you desire in your future husband.

You're still a virgin aren't you?

...now, don't lie.

I've thought about this a bit more now. At this age, I know exactly what my "ideal future" is, what career I want etc. However, my "perfect partner" is just some fleeting idealisation of someone I haven't met yet.

So... no?

Then again, if I /did/ meet someone who was "perfect", I can't say how that would affect my (now reasonable) opinion...

Of course I am, you really were expecting me to have sex at such a young age?

You do know that, unlike you, I do not care if I am a virgin (and if I am for the rest of my life).

It's sex. I'm not revolving my life around it.

So how can you hold such strong views on the topic when you have little to no experience of being in a proper relationship? It is the equivalent of me telling someone how to drive a car without being able to drive.

Everything you are spouting out at best is....theoretical, which I guess is quite fitting given your TSR username.

And no it is not just SEX, unless it is a one night stand where you objectify the girl/guy to satisfy your own sexual needs. When you are romantically in love with someone, and by that emotionally attached to them, with it being mutual, sex is a way of expressing yourself to your partner completely. Also a strong/healthy relationship is one where you help each other grow mentally, as well as discover things about yourself. It's basically teamwork. The problem many people have, is they have a hard time finding a partner who is on the same wavelength as them, so go through partner after partner looking for their "ideal one", which is where the problem essentially lies.

Again, until you are in a proper relationship you won't understand this. So your opinions are therefore void.

I can. I don't have to be raped to know that rape is not exactly the best thing in the world.

It is what I feel is right.

To me, this is all bull****.

Just because you have "experience" of it, it does not make you right.

Why should I have to listen to you?

I'll live my life according to what I believe, not to some user who thinks that because they were in a relationship, they think they can instruct everyone else how to live their lives.

Well we are not talking about rape here now are we.

Not being funny, but it does help if you have been in a serious relationship, because the reality is probably very different to how you currently imagine it to be.

Doesn't mean you are right.

How do you know, have you had sex, one night stand and in a serious relationship? I've done both.

Wait, forgot, you are a virgin. oops.

Yes, it's all subjective, but it does help if you based your own actual opinion on some actual real life experience. It's kinda like me saying:

"Yeah the Cambridge experience is ****. They have no social life."

Despite not studying there. For all I know it could be amazing. So it is best me not spouting my opinion on the place.

You don't. You started the thread, I just proposed my opinion on the matter, based on what you wrote earlier.

But I bet you £50, your opinions will change over time with more experience.

Always happens.

Neither are we talking about cars.



My opinions will not change.



Doesn't mean you're right either.



If I never experienced it, it means I won't be "missing" out on again. How could I miss something if I never experienced it?

I am content with my current life.

We're not talking about Cambridge.

Why do you assume that I'm wrong and you're right?


Just because it "always happen", it doesn't mean it would for me. I control my life. Not you.

My opinions (regarding relationships) will NEVER change.

You don't know me.

Fair enough, if you are adamant to live your life as a hermit that's your choice. Personally I couldn't do that. Again, this is a personal decision for you and I respect your choice.

But I think you should stop stamping your authority on this thread with comments like:

"In a way yes. It seems the only advantage they have is "love" (oh wow!).

Imo, love prevents people from achieving their true potential."

You have no idea, because as you have just admitted you have never experienced it. So how can you make a sarcastic comment on something you have never experienced???

I'm using that as example to point out how perception may be very different to the actual reality. The same thing here with "love", if you cannot make the link between the two, then you are not as academic as you think you are.

How old are you? and

Why? Because you can't justify your views?

It would be noble of you to admit you want a family because society expects you to, rather than shamingly saying "I give up".

I am not a hermit. I am not acting like a hermit. I'm living with respect to my wishes.

It is my opinion. I personally believe that love doesn't exist, so how can I experience it? (Don't make the assumption that love exists for everyone).

You may think that love is the be all and end all, but I don't. I don't have to experience it to believe it.

(In fact, arguably, I have experienced love [though the correct term would be limerence, but isn't love just limerence taken to the next level]. But it depends what you mean by love. Arguably I have and I haven't depending on your definition. Either way, it's not going to control my life).

Irrelevant, you'll probably just respond with "how you do know? You are so young".

I am not ashamed of my opinion. There is no reason that I can give that you will accept and I've already spent more than enough time trying to convince you that I am not simply following what you believe society is telling us is the right thing to do. You asked a hypothetical question and got an answer.

Also, if society is telling us that marriage is preferable to a career and no marriage then why is the poll split directly in half? Isn't that more indicative of a lack of or equal impetus from society in either direction?

Well you will probably be lonely with a good career when older. So close enough.

Fair enough. But how can you be so sure? Admittedly I am not sure either, but I won't make a statement as bold as that.

Actually I don't. I think life is about pushing forward irrespective on if you are in love or not. But at the same time I do appreciate it when you have strong romantic feelings for someone, with those feelings being reciprocated.

Doesn't count, one's romantic feelings are not reciprocated during a state of limerence. The fact that youhave experienced limerence means that like everyone you do have a strong desire to feel wanted and loved.

In contrast love is when strong romantic feelings ARE reciprocated back and forth between both partners.

TSR is not representative of British society.

But surely the people who are in a position to even answer your question are those who are at a stage in their life where they are still young enough not to have developed a solid plan (as far as that can be achieved) but who also have the potential to attain a high powered career: students. Of course there will be people who attain high powered careers without doing a degree just as there will be people of all ages who reach a point in their life where this decision is necessary, although probably not to the same extremes. However, your question seems to be aimed a people who have not yet reached the point where this decision is necessary.

Also, I did not say that the results are indicative of the opinion of British society. I simply said that if there were a strong tendancy to favour one or the other in society as a whole then the results would not be so even. You could argue that students may answer differently to other social groups, but since your question is not really directed at other groups (correct me if I'm wrong) then it doesn't matter so much.