Please could someone mark my exam question for English

I did this today and needs someone to just check that it is okay. I would appreciate any feedback or other comments. Thank you :smile:

a) What methods doesSteinbeck use in this passage to present Candy?

The use of adjectiveswithin this passage suggests some characteristics of Candy'spersonality. The use of the adjective 'The old man was reassured',suggests that Candy is not is not confident in his opinions andthoughts, he needs someone to listen to his feelings and needssomeone to back them up . However, after George has said a'derogatory statement' he feels that he can also express himselfaround George with more assurance. Steinbeck uses the adjective'safe' to describe how Candy feels. This suggests that George doesnot ignore Candy's opinions like the other ranch hands might becauseof his age and disability. Therefore feeling 'safe' Candy may feelthat what he says will not go any further than George.

Lateron in the passage Steinbeck uses repetition to show aspects ofCandy's character. 'I seen her give Slim the eye.', this is thenrepeated again. This repetition suggests that Candy is the quiet onewho knows all the gossip on the ranch but has no one to tell, itsuggests that he is excited to tell someone about this. It suggeststhat he like the attention which comes from telling the gossip and helikes to stir things on the ranch as he is lonely because other ranchhands might ignore him as he has a disability. The repetition alsosuggests that he is provoking a reaction from George, he wants to getattention.

Thedescription that 'he spoke more confidently' suggests that Candy isusually shy, timid and not confident in himself. This could bebecause of his disability or his age. It suggests that he could belonely and isolated but now that George and Lennie have come to theranch he has someone to talk to after a long time. It suggests thatGeorge brings him out of his shell.

Candydescribes Curley's wife very harshly 'Well, I think Curley'smarried...a tart.' This suggests that Candy has strong opinions aboutwomen which could be because the society of the era. It could alsosuggest that Candy has had a bad experience with a woman that hascurved his opinions.

Theimagery of light, 'He stepped out the door into the brilliantsunshine.', suggests that after Candy had spoken to George a weighthad been lifted off his shoulders and that his life is better nowthat he has someone to confide in and will not be so lonely now. Thedescription of Candy's dog, 'his ancient dog lifted his head',suggests that his dog reflects how Candy is old and how he has nobodyto talk except his dog who is his company.

Reply 1

SportsFan

7

You would get a very very low C with this piece of work

Reply 2

The Empire Odyssey

21

I wouldn't say you would get a 'very very low C' for this. I would say it was a low C. I think it would help if we had the passage below just to see what you could have said and if it made any relevance.

Your points are clear and simple with quotes that back up your points which is good. You've only mentioned only two things. You need to focus more on the language aspect and also the reader's response to the language used. To get a higher grade, embedded quotes need to be used. Your last point, you could have said "the author describes the 'ancient dog'" and go into how that language might mean. Also, you could add to your last point how it shows symbolism through the idealistic relationship the dog has. Maybe through in something about 'a dog is a man's best friend and this is portrayed between the relationship of Candy and his down' and use an example or the one you have used.

I got an A when I had to study Mice of Men! So if you need help, I'll be more than happy to help you through message :smile:

)

Reply 3

__Student__

Original post by Cool_JordH

I wouldn't say you would get a 'very very low C' for this. I would say it was a low C. I think it would help if we had the passage below just to see what you could have said and if it made any relevance.

Your points are clear and simple with quotes that back up your points which is good. You've only mentioned only two things. You need to focus more on the language aspect and also the reader's response to the language used. To get a higher grade, embedded quotes need to be used. Your last point, you could have said "the author describes the 'ancient dog'" and go into how that language might mean. Also, you could add to your last point how it shows symbolism through the idealistic relationship the dog has. Maybe through in something about 'a dog is a man's best friend and this is portrayed between the relationship of Candy and his down' and use an example or the one you have used.

I got an A when I had to study Mice of Men! So if you need help, I'll be more than happy to help you through message :smile:

)

Unfortunately I got a B so I'm resitting the exam soon. Are there any A/A* grade responses you wrote that I could look at ?

Reply 4

LDRZ96

OP

Original post by Cool_JordH

I wouldn't say you would get a 'very very low C' for this. I would say it was a low C. I think it would help if we had the passage below just to see what you could have said and if it made any relevance.

Your points are clear and simple with quotes that back up your points which is good. You've only mentioned only two things. You need to focus more on the language aspect and also the reader's response to the language used. To get a higher grade, embedded quotes need to be used. Your last point, you could have said "the author describes the 'ancient dog'" and go into how that language might mean. Also, you could add to your last point how it shows symbolism through the idealistic relationship the dog has. Maybe through in something about 'a dog is a man's best friend and this is portrayed between the relationship of Candy and his down' and use an example or the one you have used.

I got an A when I had to study Mice of Men! So if you need help, I'll be more than happy to help you through message :smile:

)

Thank you so much that is really helpful and I will certainally be taking some of your advice and going into more depth for each point. I will try and edit this and include some more language points. Thank you again.

Reply 5

LDRZ96

OP

Original post by SportsFan

You would get a very very low C with this piece of work

Thank you for taking the time to mark this piece of work, it would have been nice to have some feedback about what you thought I could have improved on to get a higher grade. Thanks anyway :smile:

Reply 6

The Empire Odyssey

21

Original post by __Student__

Unfortunately I got a B so I'm resitting the exam soon. Are there any A/A* grade responses you wrote that I could look at ?

Well, what I can do is try and type it up for you during this weekend, if that's okay?

Revising for A-levels takes up my life, especially doing two English A-levels :frown:

Reply 7

__Student__

Original post by Cool_JordH

Well, what I can do is try and type it up for you during this weekend, if that's okay?

Revising for A-levels takes up my life, especially doing two English A-levels :frown:

Oh ok thanks : )

Reply 8

james-p

4

Try to write "a little about a lot". Rather than making many points and trying to cover everything, really go into detail on a few points. 'Of Mice and Men' is full of symbols and archetypes, try to bring these into your answers.

Reply 9

james-p

4

Original post by james-p

Try to write "a little about a lot". Rather than making many points and trying to cover everything, really go into detail on a few points. 'Of Mice and Men' is full of symbols and archetypes, try to bring these into your answers.