Am I being needy

hi sorry if a similar thread already exists! I'm hooking up with a guy, not exclusive. I like him, don't love him though before anyone asks. Basically he's getting kinda fed up with me texting him to ask if he's home safe. I only ask when we meet up late at night and do exactly the same if I meet any of my friends. Also he lives in the middle of nowhere and I know if he misses the last bus he walks back, so I do worry a bit. We went out over a week ago and he said he'd let me know he was home safe but he never did. I saw he was active on FB so sent him a message saying 'guessing your not lying in a ditch somewhere' and he never replied. So do I have any right to be a bit peed off or am I being needy and expecting too much.

Reply 1

shawn_o1

21

You are being needy, you should've given him space, now he's probably going off with some other girl

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Literally all I asked was that he let me know he'd not been attacked on the way home, because that legit happened in his area a few weeks ago. And I don't care if he's off with someone else as we're not exclusive

Reply 3

shawn_o1

21

Then just don't care about him?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

I think its perfectly possible to not want a relationship with someone and also want them to let you know they've not been murdered! But then your probably exactly the kind of guy who messes girls around and thinks its his god given right to do so.

Reply 5

Maria1812

12

I think its not needy its caring. I think he may be this type of person who does not like caring

Reply 6

shawn_o1

21

You said "Basically he's getting kinda fed up with me texting him to ask if he's home safe". You just asked the same question on Facebook, also in a "teasing" manner which he might not understand, or takes too seriously

Reply 7

Cremated_Spatula

15

Original post by Anonymous

I think its perfectly possible to not want a relationship with someone and also want them to let you know they've not been murdered! But then your probably exactly the kind of guy who messes girls around and thinks its his god given right to do so.

Jumping to conclusions just a bit eh?

Original post by Anonymous

hi sorry if a similar thread already exists! I'm hooking up with a guy, not exclusive. I like him, don't love him though before anyone asks. Basically he's getting kinda fed up with me texting him to ask if he's home safe. I only ask when we meet up late at night and do exactly the same if I meet any of my friends. Also he lives in the middle of nowhere and I know if he misses the last bus he walks back, so I do worry a bit. We went out over a week ago and he said he'd let me know he was home safe but he never did. I saw he was active on FB so sent him a message saying 'guessing your not lying in a ditch somewhere' and he never replied. So do I have any right to be a bit peed off or am I being needy and expecting too much.

I think you are being caring, but he won't understand why you care this much about him. Hence why people will assume you're desperate for emotional attention.

People often don't understand the difference between someone who cares (possibly too much) and someone who is needy.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

I think its perfectly possible to not want a relationship with someone and also want them to let you know they've not been murdered!

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Its not exclusive to him I do it to all my friends and they're fine with it. Also I prbaly wouldn't have been that bothered if he hasn't told me someone had been attacked nearby

Reply 10

Maria1812

12

Original post by Anonymous

hi sorry if a similar thread already exists! I'm hooking up with a guy, not exclusive. I like him, don't love him though before anyone asks. Basically he's getting kinda fed up with me texting him to ask if he's home safe. I only ask when we meet up late at night and do exactly the same if I meet any of my friends. Also he lives in the middle of nowhere and I know if he misses the last bus he walks back, so I do worry a bit. We went out over a week ago and he said he'd let me know he was home safe but he never did. I saw he was active on FB so sent him a message saying 'guessing your not lying in a ditch somewhere' and he never replied. So do I have any right to be a bit peed off or am I being needy and expecting too much.

He does not know how fortunate he is to have you others do not care if you are sefe home or if you feel unwell maybe you are too good for him he does not deserve you if he does not appreciate how caring you are. So do not find faults in yourself find faults in him.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Maria1812

He does not know how fortunate he is to have you others do not care if you are sefe home or if you feel unwell maybe you are too good for him he does not deserve you if he does not appreciate how caring you are. So do not find faults in yourself find faults in him.

Aww thanks that's really sweet x

Reply 12

pinkbullets

12

You worrying about him is probably making him think that you're getting overly attached to him. I understand you reasons and I do the same with my friends but he probably does think it's quite needy/over affectionate/venturing into girlfriend territory. If you want to continue seeing this guy then you should probably stop.

Reply 13

ilex_noemi

11

Thats not needy at all. It's very caring :smile:

Although he is maybe acting that way if he is not wanting a relationship with you. I would take it as a hint that he doesn't want to be your boyfriend.
That is actually something that my boyfriend constantly asks me when I'm heading home so he might see it as caring too much when you guys arent in a relationship.

Reply 14

germanium

7

It's nice to be caring, OP I'm just like you. But some people don't like that, especially when you're not exclusive. Don't change who you are, just tailor your approach depending on your audience lol x

Reply 15

Maid Marian

20

Original post by germanium

It's nice to be caring, OP I'm just like you. But some people don't like that, especially when you're not exclusive. Don't change who you are, just tailor your approach depending on your audience lol x

^This.

You're just caring and perhaps need emotional attention like someone else mentioned, OP. I'm like that too. :redface:

A lot of people find it annoying and too fussing though, so best to try and hold off being like that around people unless they respond in the same way to you.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

I honestly didn't think he'd take it as a sign I was attatched to him. I say it to everyone whether that's the guys I'm seeing or just my friends. I guess I was just worried as someone had been attacked there ect. Not because I love him just because I don't like the idea of anyone being attacked