What to do if girlfriend has lost feelings?

So long story short, it seems my partner has lost feelings.. Her texting patterns are not the same as they were, she does not say i love you anymore as she used to. For reference, before she used to say it everyday and especially before going to sleep. Now if I do say I love you to her, she responds with 'you too' or stuff like that.

I don't know what to do because I don't want us to end, I want to grab her attention and attraction again.

Anyone been in a similar situation?

Reply 1

Zarek

21

Maybe ease off a bit and see if her interest picks up. Also consider preemptive dumping, it will be a lot better for your self esteem in the long term

Reply 2

Surnia

20

Talk to her about it; preferably face-to-face, failing that, on the phone. Don't rely on text messages as an indication of the state of your relationship!

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zarek

Maybe ease off a bit and see if her interest picks up. Also consider preemptive dumping, it will be a lot better for your self esteem in the long term

What do you recommend I do? How would I go about doing that?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Surnia

Talk to her about it; preferably face-to-face, failing that, on the phone. Don't rely on text messages as an indication of the state of your relationship!

I tried asking her about it and she said she has not lost any feelings, maybe you're right with the messages being a lack of indication :frown:

what should do besides that?

Reply 5

Zarek

21

Original post by Anonymous

What do you recommend I do? How would I go about doing that?

The tendency can be to get more needy and ask what’s up a lot, which may not be the best approach. Fine to ask if everything’s ok but if she says it is or it’s not clear I suggest to be more independent, spend a bit more time apart and reduce saying I love you. Hopefully things will pick up. If you start being treated badly, that’s when you could seize the initiative and tell her it’s not working and you want to end it

Reply 6

Surnia

20

Original post by Anonymous

I tried asking her about it and she said she has not lost any feelings, maybe you're right with the messages being a lack of indication :frown:

what should do besides that?

If you've been together a while maybe she's comfortable with things; saying 'I love you' all the time loses its meaning. Anyway, why are you relying on texts? Don't you see her much or call her?

Reply 7

Wired_1800

20

Original post by Anonymous

So long story short, it seems my partner has lost feelings.. Her texting patterns are not the same as they were, she does not say i love you anymore as she used to. For reference, before she used to say it everyday and especially before going to sleep. Now if I do say I love you to her, she responds with 'you too' or stuff like that.

I don't know what to do because I don't want us to end, I want to grab her attention and attraction again.

Anyone been in a similar situation?

Charge it to the game and move on.

Reply 8

Ghostlady

21

She might have just fell into the comfortable pattern. In the beginning in the 'honeymoon period' its all exciting and new and text and communication is flying. After a few months things seem to die down a bit. Does not mean she loves you less, it just means that theres literally no need to reaffirm I love you's every 5 mins. If shes engaging with you in person and clearly still showing an interest then I dont think you have to worry too much.

Some people do not feel the need to say I love you all the time. They are content in the fact that words do not need to express that emotion because the love is already there between both people. I went out with someone who said it like all the time. It really got my back up in the end as I did not feel the need to keep reaffirming it over and and over. It came across as too needy. Likewise with texting, expecting a text back in like 5 mins or they dont love you. It can be offputting.

Now im not saying like ghost the girl, but try not to let it bother you too much. She is texting you back, so shes not ghosting you.
Now If her texts are frequent to the point of hardly at all, maybe one word answers when you ask her something, then perhaps shes being a bit off, but then you would need to address it.'' Are you ok? you seemed very short on your texts earlier on, so just wondering if your alright?'' might encourage her to talk as she may have something on her mind. It might be you, it might be work/school or even something else as to why shes distant.

Reply 9

A jaded girl

7

Original post by Anonymous

So long story short, it seems my partner has lost feelings.. Her texting patterns are not the same as they were, she does not say i love you anymore as she used to. For reference, before she used to say it everyday and especially before going to sleep. Now if I do say I love you to her, she responds with 'you too' or stuff like that.

I don't know what to do because I don't want us to end, I want to grab her attention and attraction again.

Anyone been in a similar situation?

Relationship is over I am afraid

Reply 10

oceanzhu0912

6

After being with someone for a while, we begin to get too comfortable with them and don't really care too much as we did in the beginning such as not putting in much effort as we did at the initial stages of the relationship. It's normal but I think for a guy, maybe it might seem like somehow the relationship has 'lost its flame'. I guess its also why guys choose to find someone or cheat or something like that to have that feeling again from someone who gives them that sort of thrilling or sweet feeling again.

What to do if girlfriend has lost feelings?

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