So last year I was sexually assaulted and had to have a full STI check, everything came back clear. Three months later, I met this wonderful guy, I've never been in a relationship with someone so respectful and caring and lovely. A month into the relationship we had sex and then a few days later we had it again. Both times were unprotected as he told me he had only ever had a 10 minute drunken one night stand and had been checked afterwards. I know it was stupid, but I did really trust him and he was so innocent and sweet.
The day after I had terrible pain and got diagnosed with genital herpes. The wonderful guy told me he had actually been too ashamed to be checked and begged me not to leave him. I had pain every time we slept together, which would be once, twice a fortnight at best because othertimes were too painful. I've had so many "outbreaks" due to stress and a low immune system. I've been told that it will be hard for me to carry a child and the risks that would come with it, I'd have to have a c-section.
After losing my job due to calling in sick too much due to sometimes being unable to walk from the herpes, I fell into depression.
I'm 20 years old and I have this disease from someone who I'm so madly in love with. The only thing getting me through it was him saying he'd never leave me, telling me how much he loved me, understanding. But on our 8 month anniversary he ended it due to the depression. I feel like he's ruined my life.
Other guys have said they wanted to "f" me, I've told them about the herpes and been told "you're so hot, I wouldn't care" but I don't feel like sleeping with anyone, ever, and I don't feel anywhere near attractive anymore.
I've always been open with telling people I have it and any potential mates, I'd always tell well in advance.
But I just couldn't see someone willing to risk catching it. Condoms are only 50% safe against it. I couldn't give this to anyone.
Am I ever going to get a good relationship again?