Unlucky sex experience

So I had sex for the first time with a guy as a one night stand it was ok just felt like friction no sensation. There was no protection and he gave me an STI he said he didn’t know he had it and it wasn’t through sex it was through his saliva.

I am traumatised and not sure I want to have sex again.should I tell my future partners of this STI even if they can’t get it due to no flare ups. I’m at my wits end and feel disgusting I let this happen on my first time.

Reply 1

black tea

19

It sounds like the STI might be herpes? Unfortunately, HSV can be spread even if you are not having an outbreak (look up asymptomatic shedding) so you really should warn future partners that you have it so they can make an informed decision. I don't know if you know which type you have but if it's HSV1, it's the virus that also causes cold sores around the mouth so many people will already have it and having sex would thus not be an issue. If you have HSV2, you can reduce the risk of transmission in other ways such using condoms or taking medication. So this doesn't mean you can't have sex again or anything like that (appreciate you are not keen on having sex at the moment though)

I'm really sorry this has happened to you and that it has been so traumatic. I wonder if speaking to a health professional might help? It might also be worth looking for support groups online? There might be some on Reddit or alternatively, just google. I'm so sorry you are going through this and hope you are able to come to terms with things :hugs:

Edit: just to add - you say you are disgusted you let this happen; I understand why you might feel this way given you didn't use protection, however with herpes, you can spread it via bits of skin that would not be covered by a condom or via oral sex without a condom so even if you did use protection, there is no guarantee that you wouldn't have gotten it anyway. So try not to blame yourself - you are already having a hard time and blaming yourself won't make it any easier. You were just really, really unlucky.

(edited 8 months ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by black tea

It sounds like the STI might be herpes? Unfortunately, HSV can be spread even if you are not having an outbreak (look up asymptomatic shedding) so you really should warn future partners that you have it so they can make an informed decision. I don't know if you know which type you have but if it's HSV1, it's the virus that also causes cold sores around the mouth so many people will already have it and having sex would thus not be an issue. If you have HSV2, you can reduce the risk of transmission in other ways such using condoms or taking medication. So this doesn't mean you can't have sex again or anything like that (appreciate you are not keen on having sex at the moment though)

I'm really sorry this has happened to you and that it has been so traumatic. I wonder if speaking to a health professional might help? It might also be worth looking for support groups online? There might be some on Reddit or alternatively, just google. I'm so sorry you are going through this and hope you are able to come to terms with things :hugs:

He had HSV1 and gave me HSV2 through saliva. Could I get cold sores?