Why does he send me these weird messages?

A month ago I slept with a friend of mine (we haven't been friends for that long though and there's been sexual tension right from the start, so it wasn't really a surprise). Right after that I left on holiday and had no wifi etc. so we had no contact for two weeks. When I got back, I thought it would be best to try and salvage our friendship (although I did have feelings for him but I think I was still in denial about that), so I text him saying I hoped what happened wouldn't ruin our friendship and we should go for coffee sometime. He replied saying he had no regrets whatsoever about what happened and he looked back on it 'fondly'.

Since then, he sporadically sends me these really... strange messages on Facebook, like these weird collages he's made in Photoshop etc., or asking in a really roundabout way if I'm going to apply for an internship at the place where he works. But he still hasn't made any attempt to see me IRL.

So I'm not sure what's going on here. If he just used me for sex and isn't interested in my friendship anymore, why would he keep sending me these ambiguous, cryptic messages? Did I accidentally friendzone him? Or does he want to be friends but just being really, really awkward about the whole situation? (I should perhaps add he's a pretty awkward penguin.)

So uhm yeah, anyone have any ideas?

Reply 1

TwinnyP

11

"I should perhaps add he's a pretty awkward penguin"

Erm what?

Reply 2

Reue

20

Original post by Anonymous

So uhm yeah, anyone have any ideas?

Why don't you just arrange to meet up in person? And not in a "we should get coffee sometime" type way... more a "Are you free Friday at 10am for coffee at starbucks in the town centre" type way.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by TwinnyP

"I should perhaps add he's a pretty awkward penguin"

Erm what?

Google 'socially awkward penguin', it's just an expression :redface:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Reue

Why don't you just arrange to meet up in person? And not in a "we should get coffee sometime" type way... more a "Are you free Friday at 10am for coffee at starbucks in the town centre" type way.

Yeah, I'm just a bit scared of coming across as desperate / not 'getting the hint'. But I should probably speak with him face to face.

Reply 5

william walker

3

So you shouldn't have had sex with him then?

Reply 6

RainbowKiwi

16

You won't know what's going through his mind unless you meet up with him. It sounds like he's trying to figure you out with these cryptic messages tbh.

Why don't you both make it easier for yourselves and meet. Don't worry about lookin desperate, I'm sure he's worrying about that too hence the strange messages.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by william walker

So you shouldn't have had sex with him then?

I'm aware that it wasn't the smartest move, but you know, people get drunk, **** happens. That's why I'm asking for advice on how to interpret / deal with the situation, since I can't exactly change what's happened.

Original post by RainbowKiwi

You won't know what's going through his mind unless you meet up with him. It sounds like he's trying to figure you out with these cryptic messages tbh.

Why don't you both make it easier for yourselves and meet. Don't worry about lookin desperate, I'm sure he's worrying about that too hence the strange messages.

Yeah, you're right. Thanks. I've invited him to my birthday party next weekend and he's on 'attending' so I'll wait and see if he comes to that first. If not I'll ask him to meet up :redface:

Reply 8

william walker

3

Original post by Anonymous

I'm aware that it wasn't the smartest move, but you know, people get drunk, **** happens. That's why I'm asking for advice on how to interpret / deal with the situation, since I can't exactly change what's happened.

No it doesn't just happen. You did it because you wanted to do it without thinking of would problems it could cause afterwards.