How can I be happy for my friends?

Honest to god, I love them all. They're really important to me and idk what I'd do without then. But whenever one of them does well in exams or something and happens to do better than me, I get so overwhelmingly jealous and genuinely cannot feel happy for them at all, even if I try my hardest. Whenever they do well but just a tad worse than I do, I feel very happy for them and can celebrate with them very easily but as soon as they do better I literally lose it and I don't know why because when I do better than them, they're all sincerely happy for me (I could tell if it were fake) and only want what's best for me. I don't think I want what is best for my friends if that "best" is better than what I have and it leaves me feeling bitter, pathetic and, most importantly, like a bad friend.

Reply 1

thepheonixburns

4

Original post by Anonymous

Honest to god, I love them all. They're really important to me and idk what I'd do without then. But whenever one of them does well in exams or something and happens to do better than me, I get so overwhelmingly jealous and genuinely cannot feel happy for them at all, even if I try my hardest. Whenever they do well but just a tad worse than I do, I feel very happy for them and can celebrate with them very easily but as soon as they do better I literally lose it and I don't know why because when I do better than them, they're all sincerely happy for me (I could tell if it were fake) and only want what's best for me. I don't think I want what is best for my friends if that "best" is better than what I have and it leaves me feeling bitter, pathetic and, most importantly, like a bad friend.

I have this problem too so id like to see people's answers

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Reply 2

Jebedee

17

Seems like you need to grow up. You just didn't work hard enough to do better than them, so respect the fact that they did and learn for next time.

Reply 3

temi.h.o.

7

Original post by Anonymous

Honest to god, I love them all. They're really important to me and idk what I'd do without then. But whenever one of them does well in exams or something and happens to do better than me, I get so overwhelmingly jealous and genuinely cannot feel happy for them at all, even if I try my hardest. Whenever they do well but just a tad worse than I do, I feel very happy for them and can celebrate with them very easily but as soon as they do better I literally lose it and I don't know why because when I do better than them, they're all sincerely happy for me (I could tell if it were fake) and only want what's best for me. I don't think I want what is best for my friends if that "best" is better than what I have and it leaves me feeling bitter, pathetic and, most importantly, like a bad friend.

sometimes it may be because you know you could have worked harder or you're comparing yourself to them, because you're very close to them you think that you guys would do the same or be the same so you feel like you should get the same grades or whatever so when you don't you get down or upset (this was the case for me in secondary school for like a year)
honestly you need to truly think about the root cause of your jealously because it can possibly have an affect on you friendship and hurt yourself in the long run, as a friend you should be happy for them, when they celebrate you should celebrate, when you're jealous it's almost like you see everything with them as a competition and that's not how a friendship should be
don't be down on yourself, just make improvements to make yourself better and be confident in yourself and your abilities and things may change :smile:

How can I be happy for my friends?

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