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I miss my friend so much

My guy friend and I were extremely close for a good 3/4 years. We’d text every day and we’d always care for each other and ensure we were both happy beings. And if we were upset, we’d try out best to help each other out. He also told me he loved me so many times. Idk if he meant it at that time, but I think it was more of a friend way of saying ‘I appreciate you’, because he never told his other female friends that.
Anyway, we both had a thing for each other and stuff went one. We both really liked each other a lot, but the timing wasn’t right so I decided not to pursue a relationship with him, though I really was in love with him.
He’s had girlfriends in the past, however they’ve all broken up with him because of me. They all thing that me and him have this special bond or and they end up getting jealous of me (they’ve openly admitted that to him).
Anyway, he now has a girlfriend. I’m happy he does, and I’m not overly upset or anything. What made me really upset is that we stopped speaking after he got this new girlfriend. And from speaking to each other on a daily basis, we didn’t speak for 4 months. Though, he’s kept me on his ‘close friends’ private story for entirety of this duration.I realised during that ‘break’ between us how much I really loved him and talking to him and how he genuinely makes me a happy person and I just miss him ever so much. I cant make eye contact with him because I get nervous. And I’m not a person who typically starts conversation, which is another problem.

For the first time in a good few months, I’ve noticed that we’ve made eye contact loads of times and today he called out my name.
I didn’t really talk to him because I got really emotional but yeah.
As bad as this seems, every day I hope that him and his girlfriend have broken up, just so I can talk to him again. He was my comfort person and he was my happy person. I’m not proud of myself for thinking like that but I can’t help it.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
My guy friend and I were extremely close for a good 3/4 years. We’d text every day and we’d always care for each other and ensure we were both happy beings. And if we were upset, we’d try out best to help each other out. He also told me he loved me so many times. Idk if he meant it at that time, but I think it was more of a friend way of saying ‘I appreciate you’, because he never told his other female friends that.
Anyway, we both had a thing for each other and stuff went one. We both really liked each other a lot, but the timing wasn’t right so I decided not to pursue a relationship with him, though I really was in love with him.
He’s had girlfriends in the past, however they’ve all broken up with him because of me. They all thing that me and him have this special bond or and they end up getting jealous of me (they’ve openly admitted that to him).
Anyway, he now has a girlfriend. I’m happy he does, and I’m not overly upset or anything. What made me really upset is that we stopped speaking after he got this new girlfriend. And from speaking to each other on a daily basis, we didn’t speak for 4 months. Though, he’s kept me on his ‘close friends’ private story for entirety of this duration.I realised during that ‘break’ between us how much I really loved him and talking to him and how he genuinely makes me a happy person and I just miss him ever so much. I cant make eye contact with him because I get nervous. And I’m not a person who typically starts conversation, which is another problem.

For the first time in a good few months, I’ve noticed that we’ve made eye contact loads of times and today he called out my name.
I didn’t really talk to him because I got really emotional but yeah.
As bad as this seems, every day I hope that him and his girlfriend have broken up, just so I can talk to him again. He was my comfort person and he was my happy person. I’m not proud of myself for thinking like that but I can’t help it.

Man I am so sorry this is happening... It really seems like a bad situation. You two were obviously very close and it sucks that it all seems to have passed. I guess you really were great for eachother. However, personally I believe this should be a "If you love them let them go" situation. I know it sucks and it will be really difficult but it kinda seems that whatever you guys have had has kinda been forgotten about on his side. Friends do drift apart. I had this happen with me before. The fact that he has stopped speaking to you after getting a new girlfriend may relate to the fact others have been jealouse of you? Maybe he's trying to separate himself from you so his new girlfriend doesn't leave him because she feels you both have a little connection. I hope that makes sense. I 100% understand how having a break made you realise you loved him... I had the exact same thing with my current girlfriend. We had a break and I truly realised that I loved her with all my heart and now we are back together because of us both feeling this way. I am not on social media platforms but the fact he has kept you on his private story suggests he might still want connections? But maybe he wants to be more casual with you and not make it seem so much like you guys are in love. I know this will be difficult especially as you love him. I am glad you feel happy for him! You should as, being a great friend entails being happy for them when they are happy, celebrating their successes etc. You are not abnormal for hoping for their demise... I would feel the same way. Its natural because you obviously love him and want him to be yours. But unfortunately this isn't possible. Hence my previous "If you love them let them go". He's happy. Unfortunately, truth is you will have to find a way to deal wwith this. Talk to your other friends or someone you trust. Maybe, he will realise he truly loves you and may move back to you. I am again really really sorry you are going through this but unfortunately life has thrown you a screw you moment... Before I finish, one thing to consider. Now this isn't to be harsh or mean or presumptuous. But was he ever a good friend if he could easily just drop you like that? Now I really do wish you the best whoever you may be. I really hope this all makes sense. Good luck :smile:

Edit: Also regarding him talking to you a little now, maybe hes layed solid enough foundations between him and his new girlfriend to possibly reintroduce you into his life? Although it is a little ignorant to just drop you and pick you up whenever he wants without talking to you. Maybe he's realising he loves you? Maybe he's having other relationships to test your reaction? Sorry, just an afterthought.
(edited 11 months ago)
Reply 2
Original post by Josh-B-10
Man I am so sorry this is happening... It really seems like a bad situation. You two were obviously very close and it sucks that it all seems to have passed. I guess you really were great for eachother. However, personally I believe this should be a "If you love them let them go" situation. I know it sucks and it will be really difficult but it kinda seems that whatever you guys have had has kinda been forgotten about on his side. Friends do drift apart. I had this happen with me before. The fact that he has stopped speaking to you after getting a new girlfriend may relate to the fact others have been jealouse of you? Maybe he's trying to separate himself from you so his new girlfriend doesn't leave him because she feels you both have a little connection. I hope that makes sense. I 100% understand how having a break made you realise you loved him... I had the exact same thing with my current girlfriend. We had a break and I truly realised that I loved her with all my heart and now we are back together because of us both feeling this way. I am not on social media platforms but the fact he has kept you on his private story suggests he might still want connections? But maybe he wants to be more casual with you and not make it seem so much like you guys are in love. I know this will be difficult especially as you love him. I am glad you feel happy for him! You should as, being a great friend entails being happy for them when they are happy, celebrating their successes etc. You are not abnormal for hoping for their demise... I would feel the same way. Its natural because you obviously love him and want him to be yours. But unfortunately this isn't possible. Hence my previous "If you love them let them go". He's happy. Unfortunately, truth is you will have to find a way to deal wwith this. Talk to your other friends or someone you trust. Maybe, he will realise he truly loves you and may move back to you. I am again really really sorry you are going through this but unfortunately life has thrown you a screw you moment... Before I finish, one thing to consider. Now this isn't to be harsh or mean or presumptuous. But was he ever a good friend if he could easily just drop you like that? Now I really do wish you the best whoever you may be. I really hope this all makes sense. Good luck :smile:

Edit: Also regarding him talking to you a little now, maybe hes layed solid enough foundations between him and his new girlfriend to possibly reintroduce you into his life? Although it is a little ignorant to just drop you and pick you up whenever he wants without talking to you. Maybe he's realising he loves you? Maybe he's having other relationships to test your reaction? Sorry, just an afterthought.


Hey, I really appreciate the reply. Honestly, reading that made me feel a lot more comforted, so I must thank you for that.
honestly I have no idea what’s going on between us. It could be any of the things you said above. And he honestly was an amazing friend. And icl I have a very strong feeling that if he did break up with his girlfriend, we’d become a lot closer again.
When I said earlier that we’ve interacted a few times, as in more blanks to eye contact and him calling my name, I have to say it’s really reminiscent of the time where we both liked each other, and I knew I wasn’t committed enough so I didn’t want a relationship. This all happened exactly this time last year, and I recall so vividly that I overcame my feelings for him by not talking to him for a bit. I thought that by doing this, my feelings for him would go away. They didn’t. When I tried to ignore him, I tried not to talk to him or make eye contact with him because I couldn’t bare the pain of loving him but not being able to be with him. And I remember, as cliche as this seems, we did make eye contact a few times and his eyes looked so vulnerable and I knew he liked me at that time too. Him making eye contact with me recently remind me of exactly that moment and it’s driving me mad.

im glad that you and your girlfriend resolved everything and that you managed to handle your feelings :smile:

honestly it’s such a weird state of mind that I’m in right now. Sometimes I try to persuade myself that ‘i don’t actually like him and that I should be a mature woman and move on’ but I mentally cannot. And I can easily tell that I haven’t moved on because when he said my name today i felt giddy and warm and started getting really emotional.
just talk to him

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