How long does it take for uni to stop feeling lonely?

I have been here about 6 weeks now and it doesn't feel right. I've made "friends" but I've not clicked with anyone. When I visited my friend at a different uni, I felt happy for the first time in 6 weeks. All my friends from home have clicked with people at uni and I just don't know if it will happen for me. Advice?

Reply 1

University of Plymouth Undergraduate Student Rep

Official Rep

11

Hi!

My advice would definitely be to try joining some societies if there are some that interest you! Often this is a good way of meeting like-minded people that have similar interests to you and can become really great friends. Perhaps you could join some based on current hobbies you have (any sports/arts/general interests you have) or try something new! They are generally very welcoming to new students and it's a good way of getting stuck-in and meeting other students.

I'd also recommend signing up for any volunteering opportunities or similar groups at your uni as they are a good way of meeting others whilst doing an activity together, which makes it much easier to strike up a conversation and meet someone new!

All the best and good luck!

- Alfie, University of Plymouth Undergraduate Student Rep :h:

Reply 2

University of Huddersfield

Official Rep

16

Original post by Anonymous

I have been here about 6 weeks now and it doesn't feel right. I've made "friends" but I've not clicked with anyone. When I visited my friend at a different uni, I felt happy for the first time in 6 weeks. All my friends from home have clicked with people at uni and I just don't know if it will happen for me. Advice?

Anon,

It's great you were able to visit your friend at a different uni. It's wonderful to be with people who you know you well and who you feel comfortable with.
Perhaps it's worth thinking about how you became friends with that friend. What was it that helped you move from being just acquaintances to good friends? I think a lot of the time, it's spending lots of lots of time with a person, finding out more about them and building memories.

It's true that sometimes you meet someone and you know instantly that you are going to be friends, but other times it takes finding out more about a person and the things that you share in common with them or even the things you don't share in common) before there is that sense of acceptance and friendship.

I know it's difficult, but try not to compare yourself with your friends from home who have clicked with people already. Friendships don't happen to a given timescale and they are not something that you can make happen. You can only encourage/ try to create an environment where friendship might form. Be positive. Be friendly. Talk to anyone and everyone. Go to different events. Spend time with the people you have made 'friends' with and see how things go.

All the best,

Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield

Reply 3

Username123ab

13

For me it never did, I'm in second year and haven't made a single friend here lol, not even the type of fair weather friends you can just go out drinking with. Not to be discouraging though, most friend groups probably don't settle in until at least the end of the first term

Reply 4

De Montfort University

Official Rep

16

Original post by Anonymous

I have been here about 6 weeks now and it doesn't feel right. I've made "friends" but I've not clicked with anyone. When I visited my friend at a different uni, I felt happy for the first time in 6 weeks. All my friends from home have clicked with people at uni and I just don't know if it will happen for me. Advice?

Hiya!

Honestly that's okay, sometimes it can take a while to find people you really click with at University so try not to be too discouraged :sad:

and compare your experience so far at University to your friends as after all you are both on different paths; it might just seem they have clicked with people as you have an outside perspective. Also, it might be that you haven't known your 'friends' very long and haven't gave them a chance and hopefully after some time you can develop better friendships - try and make spontaneous plans outside of uni, and they may act differently in a different environment and hopefully you can click with them more. Always worth the chance! :gthumb:

I am always very happy :rofl2:

when I see my old friends too, luckily I have stayed in contact with them since secondary school; and that's important to try and stay connected with them. You were probably very happy as they are of course your friend who you have shared memories with and someone you have known and feel comfortable around. :hugs:

Have you joined any societies yet? Perhaps you can meet some new people by joining them. For me, I got a job based on my campus and that has been great to meet different people and develop friendships with them as we work together! I'd also recommend to just put yourself out there and try to talk to different people you get as much out of university as you put in - also see if your Student Union run events and try to attend these on campus even if you go alone I am sure you will find people you can talk to! :five:

I know it can be hard, just think of how it was when you went to secondary school, or college / sixth form or even work, I am sure you have been places before where you didn't know anyone but ended up making friends with new people it will happen. I hope this has helped in some way and please leave a message if you wanted to keep me updated or want more advice :smile:

Maddie

, second year student at De Montfort University

Feeling like you haven't found your place in the first few weeks of university is common and can be challenging. Here are a few suggestions:

Be Patient: Friendships take time to develop. It's only been six weeks, and it's okay if you haven't found your close-knit group yet.

Explore Different Activities: Participate in clubs, societies, or events that genuinely interest you. This is an excellent way to meet like-minded people.

Initiate Conversations: Don't hesitate to start conversations. Many others might be feeling the same way and would appreciate someone reaching out.

Be Open-Minded: Friendships can come from unexpected places. Be open to connecting with different types of people.

Talk to Support Services: Most universities have counseling or student support services. Talking to someone can provide valuable insights and coping strategies.

Stay Authentic: Be yourself. Authentic connections happen when you're genuine, so don't try to be someone you're not to fit in.

Remember, everyone's university experience is different. Give it more time, be open to new experiences, and focus on what makes you happy and fulfilled. Friendships will naturally evolve as you settle in.

Good Luck!
Fatima
LSBU Student Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I have been here about 6 weeks now and it doesn't feel right. I've made "friends" but I've not clicked with anyone. When I visited my friend at a different uni, I felt happy for the first time in 6 weeks. All my friends from home have clicked with people at uni and I just don't know if it will happen for me. Advice?

(edited 6 months ago)

Original post by Anonymous

I have been here about 6 weeks now and it doesn't feel right. I've made "friends" but I've not clicked with anyone. When I visited my friend at a different uni, I felt happy for the first time in 6 weeks. All my friends from home have clicked with people at uni and I just don't know if it will happen for me. Advice?

Hi there

It is good to hear that you managed to visit your friend. :smile:

University experience varies from person to person. As a more introverted person, it took me longer than others to settle into University initially.

I would recommend looking out for any society events that interest you. This is a good way to meet like minded people and have meaningful conversations. There are also many other events hosted by the University (you can check these out on their student union socials). Perhaps talking to those in the same course/ class as you will be a good option too. I hope this helps.

Good luck :smile:

Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I have been here about 6 weeks now and it doesn't feel right. I've made "friends" but I've not clicked with anyone. When I visited my friend at a different uni, I felt happy for the first time in 6 weeks. All my friends from home have clicked with people at uni and I just don't know if it will happen for me. Advice?

Hi Anon,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way, but don't get discouraged! Meeting people that you really 'click' with takes time, and it's still pretty early in the year. It might seem like everyone has found their friends, and some of them may have, but it is actually very common for friendship groups to change a lot throughout university.

There have been a lot of great suggestions here already, but I'd just recommend putting yourself out there as much as you are comfortable with and able to. Maybe give a sport, society, part-time work, or volunteering a try? You could always make small talk with people on your course too, which can feel awkward, but I was always grateful when someone spoke to me first!

It's great that you've managed to visit your friend, but try not to compare yourself too harshly to their experiences (or anyone else). University is different for everyone, and it might take time for you to find your people and really get settled. As long as you are putting yourself out there and enjoying all of the other aspects university can offer, I'm sure you'll be just fine. :smile:

Best of luck,
Isabella

Original post by Anonymous #1

I have been here about 6 weeks now and it doesn't feel right. I've made "friends" but I've not clicked with anyone. When I visited my friend at a different uni, I felt happy for the first time in 6 weeks. All my friends from home have clicked with people at uni and I just don't know if it will happen for me. Advice?

Hi anonymous,

Sorry to hear you have been feeling this way, it can be really hard feeling like you haven't made friends. It's quite common for it to take quite a while to make friends with people who you really click with- It took me until after Christmas to find my closest friends.

I would say joining a society helps if you haven't already done this. A lot of societies also do taster sessions so you can go for free and try it out and see if it's something you like. Or some student unions do day trips out, at Hallam the union puts on 'give it a go' days which range from coffees to trips to London and this can be a good way to meet people too.

I would say just stick it out and don't give up on making friends as it can often take a while and often people aren't as happy as they seem with their new friends so try not to compare your experience. If you really find you aren't enjoying it, you could always look into transferring to a different uni for second year, or living in halls again to try and meet more people.

I hope this helps,
Lucy- SHU student ambassador.

How long does it take for uni to stop feeling lonely?

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