what is peoples problem with young(ish) people having more then one kid!!!
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Original post by AnswerYouFool
i don't think you have a problem personally but there are many young mums e.g 16/17 year old who think hey can be mums, but in reality they can't even take care of them selves. And know 16 year old popping out babes is no problem for me or anyone that passes them on the street it will be a problem to the kids as the mum won't be able to take care of the kids.
Your age Is fine to be a mum but something that you might struggle with is finance and since u te not married ur Bf is not inclined to give u money etc etc etc
So. In conclusion no you having kids won't affect anyone accept your kids
Your age Is fine to be a mum but something that you might struggle with is finance and since u te not married ur Bf is not inclined to give u money etc etc etc
So. In conclusion no you having kids won't affect anyone accept your kids
and i never ask my boyf for money because i dont need it. i can manage my own finances and pay and support my kids without his help (although he has offered)
Original post by shawtyb
and how would you know? have you asked?
yea fair enough but we wont end up in a council house as when we marry we will be in military accomodation, or do you have something to dig about that too?
yea fair enough but we wont end up in a council house as when we marry we will be in military accomodation, or do you have something to dig about that too?
I think this may be another stereotype of really young mums is that they're very aggressive, I'm not trying to dig at all.
Usually because at that age you aren't in a stable relationship or at least one parent earning a moderate, stable income, so the family lives on child support benefits. Having both of these things aids in a good upbringing for the child, giving it a more prospective future.
The general stereotype is a woman only having kids to have the "easy" way out of life, getting everything paid for and using the benefits for themselves rather than for their children.
The general stereotype is a woman only having kids to have the "easy" way out of life, getting everything paid for and using the benefits for themselves rather than for their children.
Original post by SemperLiber
Usually because at that age you aren't in a stable relationship or at least one parent earning a moderate, stable income, so the family lives on child support benefits. Having both of these things aids in a good upbringing for the child, giving it a more prospective future.
The general stereotype is a woman only having kids to have the "easy" way out of life, getting everything paid for and using the benefits for themselves rather than for their children.
The general stereotype is a woman only having kids to have the "easy" way out of life, getting everything paid for and using the benefits for themselves rather than for their children.
regardless of working or not, all mothers are entitled to child tax and child benefit
Original post by shawtyb
regardless of working or not, all mothers are entitled to child tax and child benefit
The sum of which is usually calculated based on household income.
Original post by SemperLiber
The sum of which is usually calculated based on household income.
theres a set amount i think youl find
Original post by SophieSmall
But why? If it's just a piece of paper after all?
I'm honestly no bothered in the slightest if I ever get married, I'll get married if my partner wants to but I'm not fussed. But the fact I'm not bothered about marriage doesn't make me any less committed in a relationship...which is essentially what your post seems to imply that marriage = the pinnacle of commitment.
There are long term relationships that last until the couple dies and there are marriages that last less than a year and vice versa. It's not the marriage that's important it's the couple, and again sometimes unforeseen circumstances can end up crumbling what once was a happy and stable relationship/ marriage. There are no guarantees in life, and I don't think marriage increases the likelihood of staying together...have you seen how high divorce rates are?
I'm honestly no bothered in the slightest if I ever get married, I'll get married if my partner wants to but I'm not fussed. But the fact I'm not bothered about marriage doesn't make me any less committed in a relationship...which is essentially what your post seems to imply that marriage = the pinnacle of commitment.
There are long term relationships that last until the couple dies and there are marriages that last less than a year and vice versa. It's not the marriage that's important it's the couple, and again sometimes unforeseen circumstances can end up crumbling what once was a happy and stable relationship/ marriage. There are no guarantees in life, and I don't think marriage increases the likelihood of staying together...have you seen how high divorce rates are?
it is essentially a piece of paper.
However.
1. For someone to pop the question ...its a sign theyve most likely though of it and are really willing to be committed long term.
2. In the event of a divorce..there is support for kids is more likely.. I dont believe this is the case in long term relationships
3. Long term relationships happen..youve been dating a year then two..and now youre in that bracket. Marriage is a decision for most to commit. whether itl be succesful or not doesnt matter. but more likely to..if theyve thought about it
4. After 2 kids with another man this gal needs as much stability as she can get..and marriage will increase the chance of that. its by no means a fix all solution none the less.
5. how high divorce rates are xD..in that case the kids will most likely get support which is better than nothing.
6. its also harder to get out of a marriage. i.e. divorce. I believe people will as a result work harder on it..for the right or wrong reasons.
Marriage wont solve your problems but it will increase the chances of success based on points above.
Original post by shawtyb
your making an awful lot of judgements and assumptions and a lot less asking so before you have facts, stop basing this on what you THINK, not what you KNOW
besides you asked why do people judge based on the info yeh gave.
Original post by shawtyb
and how would you know? have you asked?
yea fair enough but we wont end up in a council house as when we marry we will be in military accomodation, or do you have something to dig about that too?
yea fair enough but we wont end up in a council house as when we marry we will be in military accomodation, or do you have something to dig about that too?
thats my point.
Original post by shawtyb
theres a set amount i think youl find
Either way, whether it's that exactly benefit entitlement or not, there are a multiple benefits that you can be entitled to if you're a young parent with a low income. I don't know what they're all called. It also increases based on how many kids you have, you can also get housing benefits, childcare benefits, etc.
Original post by shawtyb
regardless of working or not, all mothers are entitled to child tax and child benefit
All parents are entitled to CB even if they are millionaires (I think you can opt out but I'm not sure). However, not everyone is entitled to any sort of tax credits. I know that even though we have two kids we're not entitled to any tax credits.
Original post by trustmeimlying1
no Ive said Sophie the words you said.
it is essentially a piece of paper.
However.
1. For someone to pop the question ...its a sign theyve most likely though of it and are really willing to be committed long term. So? For someone to ask you to move in with them is also a sign they are willing to be committed long term. There are many things couples do that show commitment, marriage is just one of them.
2. In the event of a divorce..there is support for kids is more likely.. I dont believe this is the case in long term relationships Child support exists regardless of marriage.
3. Long term relationships happen..youve been dating a year then two..and now youre in that bracket. Marriage is a decision for most to commit. whether itl be succesful or not doesnt matter. but more likely to..if theyve thought about it Clearly whether it's successful or not does matter as that is basically what this conversation is about. Any relationship is more likely to work out if it's been well thought about and the relationship has work put into it again regardless of marriage.
4. After 2 kids with another man this gal needs as much stability as she can get..and marriage will increase the chance of that. its by no means a fix all solution none the less. You're assuming marriage will increase that chance based on no evidence and only your opinion. It might not.
5. how high divorce rates are xD..in that case the kids will most likely get support which is better than nothing. 42% of marriage in england and wale end in divorce. The kids will get support regardless of marriage/ divorce.
6. its also harder to get out of a marriage. i.e. divorce. I believe people will as a result work harder on it..for the right or wrong reasons. It's harder legally to get out of, all though really not that complicated to do. I don't agree that it means they'll work harder to keep the marriage, depends on the couple.
Marriage wont solve your problems but it will increase the chances of success based on points above.
.
it is essentially a piece of paper.
However.
1. For someone to pop the question ...its a sign theyve most likely though of it and are really willing to be committed long term. So? For someone to ask you to move in with them is also a sign they are willing to be committed long term. There are many things couples do that show commitment, marriage is just one of them.
2. In the event of a divorce..there is support for kids is more likely.. I dont believe this is the case in long term relationships Child support exists regardless of marriage.
3. Long term relationships happen..youve been dating a year then two..and now youre in that bracket. Marriage is a decision for most to commit. whether itl be succesful or not doesnt matter. but more likely to..if theyve thought about it Clearly whether it's successful or not does matter as that is basically what this conversation is about. Any relationship is more likely to work out if it's been well thought about and the relationship has work put into it again regardless of marriage.
4. After 2 kids with another man this gal needs as much stability as she can get..and marriage will increase the chance of that. its by no means a fix all solution none the less. You're assuming marriage will increase that chance based on no evidence and only your opinion. It might not.
5. how high divorce rates are xD..in that case the kids will most likely get support which is better than nothing. 42% of marriage in england and wale end in divorce. The kids will get support regardless of marriage/ divorce.
6. its also harder to get out of a marriage. i.e. divorce. I believe people will as a result work harder on it..for the right or wrong reasons. It's harder legally to get out of, all though really not that complicated to do. I don't agree that it means they'll work harder to keep the marriage, depends on the couple.
Marriage wont solve your problems but it will increase the chances of success based on points above.
.
Your points were mostly void.
Original post by shawtyb
its not hurting you or causing you offence and it certainly doesnt effect you so why does it bother so many people!?!?
yes im 22 (23 next month) and i have 3 kids, 2 to one guy and my baby to my new long term boyfriend. only means i have longer to love my kids as opposed to having them at a later age
people need to stop judging others for their life choices!!!!
yes im 22 (23 next month) and i have 3 kids, 2 to one guy and my baby to my new long term boyfriend. only means i have longer to love my kids as opposed to having them at a later age
people need to stop judging others for their life choices!!!!
Could be because they don't know the difference between then and than.
Original post by Danny McCoyne
Imagine what you could have done with your life if you did not have three children to think about. You have a lot of responsibility for such a young person.
I think that young women should be putting their career ahead of everything else in their early 20s. You can have all the kids you want in your late 20s and 30s.
I think that young women should be putting their career ahead of everything else in their early 20s. You can have all the kids you want in your late 20s and 30s.
I disagree entirely. For me, family is more important than money and a career. I'm lucky in that the career I'm working towards makes this easy to do.
Posted from TSR Mobile
I think people tend to just project their own experience of seeing young parents who aren't really that bright, fail to properly bring up their kids.
Not that I agree, my mother was only 19 and still in education when she had me and she stayed doing her course and would take me with her (don't think this could happen in England however) and I don't feel like I've had any problem with how I turned out based on my mother's age. But everyone tends to find it odd when they see my parents now because their parents are like 20 years older than mine so they find it odd. But there is no issue with this.
Not that I agree, my mother was only 19 and still in education when she had me and she stayed doing her course and would take me with her (don't think this could happen in England however) and I don't feel like I've had any problem with how I turned out based on my mother's age. But everyone tends to find it odd when they see my parents now because their parents are like 20 years older than mine so they find it odd. But there is no issue with this.
no Ive said Sophie the words you said.
it is essentially a piece of paper.
However.
1. For someone to pop the question ...its a sign theyve most likely though of it and are really willing to be committed long term. So? For someone to ask you to move in with them is also a sign they are willing to be committed long term. There are many things couples do that show commitment, marriage is just one of them.
Moving in with someone is not the same. And I completely agree Marriage is one of them..the more factors yeh have the better.
2. In the event of a divorce..there is support for kids is more likely.. I dont believe this is the case in long term relationships Child support exists regardless of marriage. wasnt aware thats great news.
3. Long term relationships happen..youve been dating a year then two..and now youre in that bracket. Marriage is a decision for most to commit. whether itl be succesful or not doesnt matter. but more likely to..if theyve thought about it Clearly whether it's successful or not does matter as that is basically what this conversation is about. Any relationship is more likely to work out if it's been well thought about and the relationship has work put into it again regardless of marriage. ofc Sophie. we both agree it is a piece of paper but it means the conversations..the thoughts have more likely being addressed.
its like studying in a busy or quiet study environment. its the same person..and yeh can succeed either way. but less chance of distraction in a quiet room.
marriage doesnt change anything. but it forces the couple to really THINK about what theyre doing ...whereas long term relationships can just continue on..
4. After 2 kids with another man this gal needs as much stability as she can get..and marriage will increase the chance of that. its by no means a fix all solution none the less. You're assuming marriage will increase that chance based on no evidence and only your opinion. It might not.
ive spoken about it above. by being aware what youre getting yourself into by forcing each member to really think it through..their relationship etc..its better.
5. how high divorce rates are xD..in that case the kids will most likely get support which is better than nothing. 42% of marriage in england and wale end in divorce. The kids will get support regardless of marriage/ divorce.
id like to see how many long term relationships end. Id say its far worse.
6. its also harder to get out of a marriage. i.e. divorce. I believe people will as a result work harder on it..for the right or wrong reasons. It's harder legally to get out of, all though really not that complicated to do. I don't agree that it means they'll work harder to keep the marriage, depends on the couple.
ofc if its easier to do something, some people will be more likely to take the easy route
I disagree with yeh. But yeh have opened me to the fact that marriage can make it messy in the sense youre semi stuck with the person. people change.
saying that if yeh honestly believe this is the right person. committing to the max is hardly a bad thing.
many people end up in long term relationships. gawd I know how quick a year goes by.
marriage forces yeh to sit down and think it through.
anyways this going nowhere. we both have our own thoughts based largely on opinion. lets leave it at that.
it is essentially a piece of paper.
However.
1. For someone to pop the question ...its a sign theyve most likely though of it and are really willing to be committed long term. So? For someone to ask you to move in with them is also a sign they are willing to be committed long term. There are many things couples do that show commitment, marriage is just one of them.
Moving in with someone is not the same. And I completely agree Marriage is one of them..the more factors yeh have the better.
2. In the event of a divorce..there is support for kids is more likely.. I dont believe this is the case in long term relationships Child support exists regardless of marriage. wasnt aware thats great news.
3. Long term relationships happen..youve been dating a year then two..and now youre in that bracket. Marriage is a decision for most to commit. whether itl be succesful or not doesnt matter. but more likely to..if theyve thought about it Clearly whether it's successful or not does matter as that is basically what this conversation is about. Any relationship is more likely to work out if it's been well thought about and the relationship has work put into it again regardless of marriage. ofc Sophie. we both agree it is a piece of paper but it means the conversations..the thoughts have more likely being addressed.
its like studying in a busy or quiet study environment. its the same person..and yeh can succeed either way. but less chance of distraction in a quiet room.
marriage doesnt change anything. but it forces the couple to really THINK about what theyre doing ...whereas long term relationships can just continue on..
4. After 2 kids with another man this gal needs as much stability as she can get..and marriage will increase the chance of that. its by no means a fix all solution none the less. You're assuming marriage will increase that chance based on no evidence and only your opinion. It might not.
ive spoken about it above. by being aware what youre getting yourself into by forcing each member to really think it through..their relationship etc..its better.
5. how high divorce rates are xD..in that case the kids will most likely get support which is better than nothing. 42% of marriage in england and wale end in divorce. The kids will get support regardless of marriage/ divorce.
id like to see how many long term relationships end. Id say its far worse.
6. its also harder to get out of a marriage. i.e. divorce. I believe people will as a result work harder on it..for the right or wrong reasons. It's harder legally to get out of, all though really not that complicated to do. I don't agree that it means they'll work harder to keep the marriage, depends on the couple.
ofc if its easier to do something, some people will be more likely to take the easy route
I disagree with yeh. But yeh have opened me to the fact that marriage can make it messy in the sense youre semi stuck with the person. people change.
saying that if yeh honestly believe this is the right person. committing to the max is hardly a bad thing.
many people end up in long term relationships. gawd I know how quick a year goes by.
marriage forces yeh to sit down and think it through.
anyways this going nowhere. we both have our own thoughts based largely on opinion. lets leave it at that.
Original post by trustmeimlying1
no Ive said Sophie the words you said.
it is essentially a piece of paper.
However.
1. For someone to pop the question ...its a sign theyve most likely though of it and are really willing to be committed long term. So? For someone to ask you to move in with them is also a sign they are willing to be committed long term. There are many things couples do that show commitment, marriage is just one of them.
Moving in with someone is not the same. And I completely agree Marriage is one of them..the more factors yeh have the better.
2. In the event of a divorce..there is support for kids is more likely.. I dont believe this is the case in long term relationships Child support exists regardless of marriage. wasnt aware thats great news.
3. Long term relationships happen..youve been dating a year then two..and now youre in that bracket. Marriage is a decision for most to commit. whether itl be succesful or not doesnt matter. but more likely to..if theyve thought about it Clearly whether it's successful or not does matter as that is basically what this conversation is about. Any relationship is more likely to work out if it's been well thought about and the relationship has work put into it again regardless of marriage. ofc Sophie. we both agree it is a piece of paper but it means the conversations..the thoughts have more likely being addressed.
its like studying in a busy or quiet study environment. its the same person..and yeh can succeed either way. but less chance of distraction in a quiet room.
marriage doesnt change anything. but it forces the couple to really THINK about what theyre doing ...whereas long term relationships can just continue on..
4. After 2 kids with another man this gal needs as much stability as she can get..and marriage will increase the chance of that. its by no means a fix all solution none the less. You're assuming marriage will increase that chance based on no evidence and only your opinion. It might not.
ive spoken about it above. by being aware what youre getting yourself into by forcing each member to really think it through..their relationship etc..its better.
5. how high divorce rates are xD..in that case the kids will most likely get support which is better than nothing. 42% of marriage in england and wale end in divorce. The kids will get support regardless of marriage/ divorce.
id like to see how many long term relationships end. Id say its far worse.
6. its also harder to get out of a marriage. i.e. divorce. I believe people will as a result work harder on it..for the right or wrong reasons. It's harder legally to get out of, all though really not that complicated to do. I don't agree that it means they'll work harder to keep the marriage, depends on the couple.
ofc if its easier to do something, some people will be more likely to take the easy route
I disagree with yeh. But yeh have opened me to the fact that marriage can make it messy in the sense youre semi stuck with the person. people change.
saying that if yeh honestly believe this is the right person. committing to the max is hardly a bad thing.
many people end up in long term relationships. gawd I know how quick a year goes by.
marriage forces yeh to sit down and think it through.
anyways this going nowhere. we both have our own thoughts based largely on opinion. lets leave it at that.
it is essentially a piece of paper.
However.
1. For someone to pop the question ...its a sign theyve most likely though of it and are really willing to be committed long term. So? For someone to ask you to move in with them is also a sign they are willing to be committed long term. There are many things couples do that show commitment, marriage is just one of them.
Moving in with someone is not the same. And I completely agree Marriage is one of them..the more factors yeh have the better.
2. In the event of a divorce..there is support for kids is more likely.. I dont believe this is the case in long term relationships Child support exists regardless of marriage. wasnt aware thats great news.
3. Long term relationships happen..youve been dating a year then two..and now youre in that bracket. Marriage is a decision for most to commit. whether itl be succesful or not doesnt matter. but more likely to..if theyve thought about it Clearly whether it's successful or not does matter as that is basically what this conversation is about. Any relationship is more likely to work out if it's been well thought about and the relationship has work put into it again regardless of marriage. ofc Sophie. we both agree it is a piece of paper but it means the conversations..the thoughts have more likely being addressed.
its like studying in a busy or quiet study environment. its the same person..and yeh can succeed either way. but less chance of distraction in a quiet room.
marriage doesnt change anything. but it forces the couple to really THINK about what theyre doing ...whereas long term relationships can just continue on..
4. After 2 kids with another man this gal needs as much stability as she can get..and marriage will increase the chance of that. its by no means a fix all solution none the less. You're assuming marriage will increase that chance based on no evidence and only your opinion. It might not.
ive spoken about it above. by being aware what youre getting yourself into by forcing each member to really think it through..their relationship etc..its better.
5. how high divorce rates are xD..in that case the kids will most likely get support which is better than nothing. 42% of marriage in england and wale end in divorce. The kids will get support regardless of marriage/ divorce.
id like to see how many long term relationships end. Id say its far worse.
6. its also harder to get out of a marriage. i.e. divorce. I believe people will as a result work harder on it..for the right or wrong reasons. It's harder legally to get out of, all though really not that complicated to do. I don't agree that it means they'll work harder to keep the marriage, depends on the couple.
ofc if its easier to do something, some people will be more likely to take the easy route
I disagree with yeh. But yeh have opened me to the fact that marriage can make it messy in the sense youre semi stuck with the person. people change.
saying that if yeh honestly believe this is the right person. committing to the max is hardly a bad thing.
many people end up in long term relationships. gawd I know how quick a year goes by.
marriage forces yeh to sit down and think it through.
anyways this going nowhere. we both have our own thoughts based largely on opinion. lets leave it at that.
Your entire opinion seems to be based on only those in marriage have to work on and think about their relationships. Which is just not true.
Also I'm sorry but I find your responses really difficult to keep up with/ read. It's just the way you write.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by AnswerYouFool
i don't think you have a problem personally but there are many young mums e.g 16/17 year old who think hey can be mums, but in reality they can't even take care of them selves. And know 16 year old popping out babes is no problem for me or anyone that passes them on the street it will be a problem to the kids as the mum won't be able to take care of the kids.
Your age Is fine to be a mum but something that you might struggle with is finance and since u te not married ur Bf is not inclined to give u money etc etc etc
So. In conclusion no you having kids won't affect anyone accept your kids
Your age Is fine to be a mum but something that you might struggle with is finance and since u te not married ur Bf is not inclined to give u money etc etc etc
So. In conclusion no you having kids won't affect anyone accept your kids
So many grammatical errors here, please see.
Original post by shawtyb
its not hurting you or causing you offence and it certainly doesnt effect you so why does it bother so many people!?!?
yes im 22 (23 next month) and i have 3 kids, 2 to one guy and my baby to my new long term boyfriend. only means i have longer to love my kids as opposed to having them at a later age
people need to stop judging others for their life choices!!!!
yes im 22 (23 next month) and i have 3 kids, 2 to one guy and my baby to my new long term boyfriend. only means i have longer to love my kids as opposed to having them at a later age
people need to stop judging others for their life choices!!!!
Last year I paid £30,000 in tax.
Some of which will undoubtedly go to paying your kids child benefits (and probably housing benefit too).
For the sake of us all, please dont have any more kids.
Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Photovoltaic.
Last year I paid £30,000 in tax.
Some of which will undoubtedly go to paying your kids child benefits (and probably housing benefit too).
For the sake of us all, please dont have any more kids.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Some of which will undoubtedly go to paying your kids child benefits (and probably housing benefit too).
For the sake of us all, please dont have any more kids.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Self-righteous b*stard.
When you're old and your NHS bills are sky-rocketing and your pensions getting popped in your bank account. Who's going to be paying for that? Her kids.
Typical short-sightedness.
SS
(edited 8 years ago)
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