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Just discovered my girlfriend used to be a man
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I honestly don't know whether to offer you advice or call you every single obscenity under the sun. So what if your (ex-)girlfriend used to be a man? You liked her, and she clearly liked you. What you did was unforgivable, and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if she refused to take you back. Also, while you will say that 'Oh well she wasn't being honest!' maybe she didn't want to tell you to begin because she was scared of the potential ramifications it would have on what you had, and to everyone on here who is telling him that he made the right call, sometimes honesty is NOT the best policy. Seriously dude, you need to get your mindset into the 21st century pronto.
(edited 7 years ago)
The thought of a mutilated, inside-out penis... 
Original post by Adamski191
I honestly don't know whether to offer you advice or call you every single obscenity under the sun. So what if your (ex-)girlfriend used to be a man? You liked her, and she clearly liked you. What you did was unforgivable, and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if she refused to take you back. Seriously, you need to get your mindset into the 21st century pronto.
What do you mean what if? He ovbvioulsy wants to date a girl not a man. You probably dont understand, because your gay
Sorry, wait...
How could one not know they are sleeping with a man?
The odds really lean towards this being a troll post.
How could one not know they are sleeping with a man?
The odds really lean towards this being a troll post.
Original post by Alextaylor6
bob at the end of the day, you are sticking your knob into another guy, no thank you
You are really very shallow. You believe the main idea of a relation ship is just to 'stick your dick in it'... really? The whole idea of a relationship is you and the person have an emotional and mental bond as well as a physical one, and if you have two of the three you can work on the third. If you are only there for your lustful passions then I pity whoever falls in love with you, if anyone is foolish enough to. As I said earlier when he didn't know it he was fine with it, had he never have found out they would still be together, but no: he, like you, was morally and mentally shallow. I feel sorry for her, but he deserved everything he got and more.
Original post by Anonymous
What do you mean what if? He ovbvioulsy wants to date a girl not a man. You probably dont understand, because your gay
Well I am gay actually, and the ex-girlfriend wasn't a man to begin with. She was a woman trapped in a man's body. Thanks to modern tech, she's been able to rectify that. I shouldn't even be telling you this, you're just another one of them closed-minded bigots with nothing else to do other than insult people who aren't you.
Now in regards to the hypothetical, if a tran lied to a guy for 2 years about being a girl then he sure as hell can call her/him a freak, that doesn't even scratch the surface in terms of what was inflicted on him.
Original post by Adamski191
Well I am gay actually, and the ex-girlfriend wasn't a man to begin with. She was a woman trapped in a man's body. Thanks to modern tech, she's been able to rectify that. I shouldn't even be telling you this, you're just another one of them closed-minded bigots with nothing else to do other than insult people who aren't you.
I'm actually a god trapped in a mortals body.
Original post by Adamski191
Well I am gay actually, and the ex-girlfriend wasn't a man to begin with. She was a woman trapped in a man's body. Thanks to modern tech, she's been able to rectify that. I shouldn't even be telling you this, you're just another one of them closed-minded bigots with nothing else to do other than insult people who aren't you.
Are you an idioit? the ex girlfriend was a man to begin with, theres no such thing as a woman trapped in a man's body or vice versa, In my opinion it is a mental illness, thinking that your in the wrong body.
I'm not insulting no one, im justing voicing my opinion, and anyways how is calling some one gay an insult?
One thing to point out, your post were you said 'what if your (ex-)girlfriend used to be a man ?' is completely biased, considering your gay. I'm pretty sure you won't be saying 'what if' if this happened to you with some one who used to be a female
Wow, this thread has really shown the true colours of some people (even though it looks more and more like a trolling thread every post)...
I wonder how many of those just attacking trans folk have ever actually had a meaningful conversation with someone who's trans, or do they just hate on them because they're different from cis women/men? you people who use "it" as a method of pronouns know its derogatory to use "it" when referring to a conscious, thinking and sentient person. If your hatred is so much that you can't refer to them by the pronouns they want (if it hurts your manhood so much), "they" is much better.
IMO, it was wrong for her to hide being trans, but just stoking the flames of suicide is the worst thing you can do OP. How would you like if she found out your secrets and called you a freak?
I wonder how many of those just attacking trans folk have ever actually had a meaningful conversation with someone who's trans, or do they just hate on them because they're different from cis women/men? you people who use "it" as a method of pronouns know its derogatory to use "it" when referring to a conscious, thinking and sentient person. If your hatred is so much that you can't refer to them by the pronouns they want (if it hurts your manhood so much), "they" is much better.
IMO, it was wrong for her to hide being trans, but just stoking the flames of suicide is the worst thing you can do OP. How would you like if she found out your secrets and called you a freak?
Original post by Anonymous
Are you an idioit? the ex girlfriend was a man to begin with, theres no such thing as a woman trapped in a man's body or vice versa, In my opinion it is a mental illness, thinking that your in the wrong body.
I'm not insulting no one, im justing voicing my opinion, and anyways how is calling some one gay an insult?
One thing to point out, your post were you said 'what if your (ex-)girlfriend used to be a man ?' is completely biased, considering your gay. I'm pretty sure you won't be saying 'what if' if this happened to you with some one who used to be a female
I'm not insulting no one, im justing voicing my opinion, and anyways how is calling some one gay an insult?
One thing to point out, your post were you said 'what if your (ex-)girlfriend used to be a man ?' is completely biased, considering your gay. I'm pretty sure you won't be saying 'what if' if this happened to you with some one who used to be a female
Well you insult the ex girlfriend because you deny the fact that she is truly a woman, and should have been from birth, which BTW is trans-phobic. And I never said you insulted ME, I said you'd be insulting people who you didn't think were 'normal', and yes, maybe I am being biased because of my sexuality, but that's because it makes me more accepting of other people, and intolerant of bigots like yourself. Finally, I wouldn't care if someone I dated used to be a female; they were MEANT to be MALE!
I rest my case...
Original post by BobSausage
Surely shouldn't love be a bond formed by mutual interests, and care for one-another not merely a lustful passion?
If you really wanted to be in a relationship with her you would not have done that, you were just looking for an excuse to leave her sub consciously at least.
Gender shouldn't really come to be the deciding factor of a relationship, although she should probably have told you before that.
But the point is, when you didn't know t you looked straight past it, and if you ever truly loved her you would manage to look past it even after you found out.
If you really wanted to be in a relationship with her you would not have done that, you were just looking for an excuse to leave her sub consciously at least.
Gender shouldn't really come to be the deciding factor of a relationship, although she should probably have told you before that.
But the point is, when you didn't know t you looked straight past it, and if you ever truly loved her you would manage to look past it even after you found out.
She lied.
Original post by Katiee224
We are all female before we are born, does it matter what gender we used to be?
lol what?
Original post by Adamski191
Well I am gay actually, and the ex-girlfriend wasn't a man to begin with. She was a woman trapped in a man's body. Thanks to modern tech, she's been able to rectify that. I shouldn't even be telling you this, you're just another one of them closed-minded bigots with nothing else to do other than insult people who aren't you.
You legitimately just insulted someone for insulting people.
Also, your response is based on gender philosophy rather than anything logical. Consider that the OP might have a different perception on relationships than you, and you should accept that, just as you have a different perception on relationships in terms of what genders can partner.
Anyway...
I would have probably done the same thing. I would not have called her a freak for sure, as that's a pretty disgusting way to behave. Either way, she isn't right for you (she lied, and isn't the gender you desire) and you certainly aren't right for her (you called her a 'freak' for being who she is).
I'm not an expert by any means, I was just looking around. That's my thoughts.
Original post by Adamski191
Well you insult the ex girlfriend because you deny the fact that she is truly a woman, and should have been from birth, which BTW is trans-phobic. And I never said you insulted ME, I said you'd be insulting people who you didn't think were 'normal', and yes, maybe I am being biased because of my sexuality, but that's because it makes me more accepting of other people, and intolerant of bigots like yourself. Finally, I wouldn't care if someone I dated used to be a female; they were MEANT to be MALE!
I rest my case...
I rest my case...
It's not an insult its a fact she was and still is a male, never a female, like I said it's a mental illness. It's not that I don't think there 'normal' there just 'different', which you could say that everyone is different in there own way.
Your not understanding my point just becuase they claim there male, there still biologically a female(I'm talking about the example about you not the OP)
Original post by kirigiri
if on the off chance this isnt bait:
wow, that was terrible of you! you could not have handled that much worse. she literally told you that she felt like killing herself and you thought that it was an appropriate time to call her a freak and dump her? jesus. she deserves better than you.
as to the idea of "i had the right to know/she should have told me": why??? literally what difference does it make. it doesnt matter if someone is not the same gender now as they were born as. they are the gender they identify with now. the past is irrelevent. the only time you would even remotely need to know is if youre having sex (if they havent transitioned) or if youre trying to conceive (if they have).
thinking negatively of her because shes trans is undeniably transphobic.
seriously, youre a dick, op.
wow, that was terrible of you! you could not have handled that much worse. she literally told you that she felt like killing herself and you thought that it was an appropriate time to call her a freak and dump her? jesus. she deserves better than you.
as to the idea of "i had the right to know/she should have told me": why??? literally what difference does it make. it doesnt matter if someone is not the same gender now as they were born as. they are the gender they identify with now. the past is irrelevent. the only time you would even remotely need to know is if youre having sex (if they havent transitioned) or if youre trying to conceive (if they have).
thinking negatively of her because shes trans is undeniably transphobic.
seriously, youre a dick, op.
Seriously? You are not even taking into account the OP's feelings and as well as that, his personal values. His former partner disrespected him by keeping this a secret. Don't get me wrong, I can understand why she would keep it a secret, but this does not excuse the fact that she lacked total respect for him and his wishes.
If she respected him, she would tell him of his gender dysphoria and any procedure undergone. She did not care about how he felt, or at least had very little care for his own personal well being. she was being selfish and childish.
In this situation, he is not a dick. What would happen if the OP had specific religious beliefs, that go against transexuality? What would he do then.
What if he wanted children with this person? what if he does not want to adopt or have IVF.
All of this emotional pain could have been avoided if she told him about her gender dyphoria and let him make up his own mind.
It doesn't matter whether this is a true story or not, what is important is the widespread, hidden transphobia people are exemplifying throughout this thread.
"She should've told him" - when? On their first date? Two weeks in? Please. OP dated this person for who she is. She's the exact same person now as she was last week, back when OP supposedly liked her. Nothing's changed. The only reason you would leave someone over something like this is embarrassment, and anger at yourself, for dating someone who is trans - and that my friend, is transphobia. This is similar to men who get angry when/if they find out that their (female) partner has had a multitude of sexual partners in the past. It's laughable - get over yourself, you're not that special.
This shyte about "trust" is an easy mask to put on to avoid making all that obvious. Oh yeah trust is the foundation to all relationships look at me I'm a 24 year old virgin on TSR and I'm wise as f*** when it comes to this. Stfu this has nothing to do with trust, or lies. She was not doing anything over the course of their relationship that she was hiding from the OP. Alala, you people are sad.
"She should've told him" - when? On their first date? Two weeks in? Please. OP dated this person for who she is. She's the exact same person now as she was last week, back when OP supposedly liked her. Nothing's changed. The only reason you would leave someone over something like this is embarrassment, and anger at yourself, for dating someone who is trans - and that my friend, is transphobia. This is similar to men who get angry when/if they find out that their (female) partner has had a multitude of sexual partners in the past. It's laughable - get over yourself, you're not that special.
This shyte about "trust" is an easy mask to put on to avoid making all that obvious. Oh yeah trust is the foundation to all relationships look at me I'm a 24 year old virgin on TSR and I'm wise as f*** when it comes to this. Stfu this has nothing to do with trust, or lies. She was not doing anything over the course of their relationship that she was hiding from the OP. Alala, you people are sad.
Original post by Legendary Quest
She lied.
Ok she betrayed his trust. Yes I understand this, but this is the only other argument anyone has given. Why is he shallow enough to just drop the relationship due to a lie? There are a million and one ways to end a relationship, and if it were true love then they could remain friends bonded by their mental and social similarities, but instead he storms out in a huff? His reaction makes him sound as if he were just in it for the sex, not actual friendship or companionship. In the words of Shakespeare:
"It is an ever-fixéd mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken"
- Shakespeare, Sonnet 116
My point he evidently didn't care for her, one lie is not enough to shatter a relationship And thus my point is proved, he is shallow, and was never interested in a long term relationship with the poor woman, whose heart he has now broken.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by XOR_
Sorry, wait...
How could one not know they are sleeping with a man?
The odds really lean towards this being a troll post.
How could one not know they are sleeping with a man?
The odds really lean towards this being a troll post.
Yes, it probably is, but assuming it's not, people who identify with the opposite gender can get hormone therapy: this gives them a body more typical of the other gender, and if they really want to, and have the money, doctors can effectively remove the penis and re-use the sensitive tissue to create a 'vagina' equally the inverse is possible with the female to male transition. So depending on how long they have been having hormone therapy and whether they had the final operation it could always be possible.
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