Christian Friends

My friend just joined a small boarding school a few months ago and she has made friends. As time has passed she has discovered some characteristics that she has tried to overlook but it always gets in the way. They are materialistic and don't support her faith and journey with Christ she wants me to give her advice what should I say?

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 1

pereira325

20

Don't worry...
Most people don't smoke - it's bad for your health and costs so yeah I don't know why people do it, but you shouldn't!
Some people don't drink. Not sure if it's a majority or minority but personally I don't and my dad doesn't so don't worry there are many a people who stick to coke or juice or even water!
Also it's a shame you're the only black person at the school. I have no way to console you over that.
I haven't been through a similar situation but keep your head up sister!

Reply 2

Future.

2

Original post by universalqueen

I just joined a small boarding school a few months ago and I've made friends. As time has passed I've discovered some characteristics that I've tried to overlook but it always gets in the way. They are materialistic and don't support my faith and journey with Christ. I would make friends with other people but everyone smokes and drinks and I don't want to be like that. Plus I'm the only black person in this school and some of the people here are racist. I don't know what to do. I've never felt so alone. If you have been through similar things can we talk? I could really use a helping hand.
Thanks

I kinda understand since everyone in my high school drank and partied and being the only colored gyal in the class I found it hard. @SmokingChains and me just dealt with it. I was proud of my faith and and knew that being religious, this is where it would get with me.
A lot of the ppl were racist too but I'm the type of gyal who doesn't give a **** lol
You can talk to me or @SmokingChains if you ever need any help. We aren't Christian but both of our religions seem to have similar rules anyway x

Reply 3

SmokingChains

5

Original post by universalqueen

I just joined a small boarding school a few months ago and I've made friends. As time has passed I've discovered some characteristics that I've tried to overlook but it always gets in the way. They are materialistic and don't support my faith and journey with Christ. I would make friends with other people but everyone smokes and drinks and I don't want to be like that. Plus I'm the only black person in this school and some of the people here are racist. I don't know what to do. I've never felt so alone. If you have been through similar things can we talk? I could really use a helping hand.
Thanks

i'm a pakistani and i went to a christian school, what i did was mix in with them and they became my mates, i was one of the most popular however it came a time when they all went to parties and drunk etc, which we r not allowed to do in our culture so i never went then the following day they used to talk about it and they used to leave me out cause i never went out. As a result, i grew apart and found a group who used to talk about mostly console games however these ppl kept me in the talk and never left me out. Luckily the good times in school have overshadowed the crap times and i know how you feel. They were all racist to me but in a friendly way. I suggest you make friends and climb ur way to the top and keep away from the things u hate. the started to go bad for me in the final year, yet it was still pretty decent TBH

@Future.

Reply 4

Future.

2

Original post by SmokingChains

i'm a pakistani and i went to a christian school, what i did was mix in with them and they became my mates, i was one of the most popular however it came a time when they all went to parties and drunk etc, which we r not allowed to do in our culture so i never went then the following day they used to talk about it and they used to leave me out cause i never went out. As a result, i grew apart and found a group who used to talk about mostly console games however these ppl kept me in the talk and never left me out. Luckily the good times in school have overshadowed the crap times and i know how you feel. They were all racist to me but in a friendly way. I suggest you make friends and climb ur way to the top and keep away from the things u hate. the started to go bad for me in the final year, yet it was still pretty decent TBH

@Future.

they weren't christian you p**** loooool they were white atheists omg

Reply 5

SmokingChains

5

Original post by Future.

they weren't christian you p**** loooool they were white atheists omg

oh lanore

Reply 6

username1832041

3

There will also be SOME people who are racist (whether they are white or black etc.). Don't worry about such people. Most people are not racist. :smile:

Btw, I don't understand why people smoke. This is just stupid :smile:

I was rejected by the others when I was in primary school. Everything changed later. I met new people in my secondary school and it was all fine :smile:

Hope you will be happy soon :smile:

Reply 7

ThePricklyOne

18

Original post by universalqueen

I just joined a small boarding school a few months ago and I've made friends. As time has passed I've discovered some characteristics that I've tried to overlook but it always gets in the way. They are materialistic and don't support my faith and journey with Christ. I would make friends with other people but everyone smokes and drinks and I don't want to be like that. Plus I'm the only black person in this school and some of the people here are racist. I don't know what to do. I've never felt so alone. If you have been through similar things can we talk? I could really use a helping hand.
Thanks

I've gone into a lot of schools as my parents moved a lot. And I wasn't very sociable during my school days. I made friends slowly, sometimes it took months before I got one person to hang out with. It's hard to make friends when you're always the new kid, but it's a lot harder if you decide to dislike everybody.

I think you're very judgemental. You expect other people to support your faith and have no flaws that you dislike. People can only be themselves - you either accept this, or cut yourself off and be alone. Some racist people doesn't make all people racist. You've managed to label everyone negatively in your post, it's not a surprise you feel alone.

To make friends (and keep them) you have to compromise. Just try to enjoy being with people (maybe for a short break over coffee) without judging them and see how it goes. Find things in common to do together, like studying, hobbies or sports. You will find that most people are decent human beings underneath all their bad habits.

I have friends who are a lot different to me. I opt out on the stuff they do (that don't appeal to me) and they do the same to my stuff that they don't like, but we have enough things in common (we like going out to see films, computers, laugh at the same jokes, hate the Tories) to keep the friendship strong.

I wish you the best, whatever you choose to do.

Reply 8

Djerun

17

Original post by universalqueen

I just joined a small boarding school a few months ago and I've made friends. As time has passed I've discovered some characteristics that I've tried to overlook but it always gets in the way. They are materialistic and don't support my faith and journey with Christ. I would make friends with other people but everyone smokes and drinks and I don't want to be like that. Plus I'm the only black person in this school and some of the people here are racist. I don't know what to do. I've never felt so alone. If you have been through similar things can we talk? I could really use a helping hand.
Thanks

You shouldn't go through life only trying to make friends with people who are Christians. You can have truly amazing friends who are atheist for example, and I have many!

You don't have to smoke or drink, but just because they do, doesn't mean they are inherently a bad person. Maybe become friends with them, and take it as your duty to guide them away from such things :smile:

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