Update for 14/01/2018 - Honesty Hour...Hey guys, really sorry I've not been around for a while. To be blunt with you, it's been a pretty rough week for me. My mood's been at a bit of a low point this week which wasn't ideal, but it is how it is and I just have to get on with life as nothing's gonna hold off for a bit until I feel better is it? I'm really sorry for always abandoning this blog and TSR as a whole when things get tough, it's a bad habit I need to shake but when I completely lack the energy to keep up with it, it becomes very taxing on me to deal with it all. I know I'm never obliged to write here or to fill you guys in on what goes on in my life whether I keep it strictly school-related or otherwise, but I always feel as though I should just be honest with you as otherwise what's the point in even bothering with it in the first place. So while I try my best to plough on through when things are only just starting to take a turn for the worse, it gets to the point where I feel I can't help but need a break from it and just... I'm sorry. I know you guys like reading my updates and I'm sorry for having such big gaps between them sometimes, it just all gets a bit much sometimes y'know? And seeing as TSR is one of the few things I do have some control over as I'm not bound to do anything by any real means, it's usually one of the first things I tend to put on the back-burner while I try and sort out other aspects of my life. It's something I'm trying to control a bit more this year as I don't like that I do it (especially considering my voluntary role for the site), so hopefully things won't be so sporadic from here on out. Hopefully.
Monday 8th JanuaryNot a terrible day by any means really. We started Second Order Differential Equations in Further Maths which I found fine and actually easier than First Order ones funnily enough. After break I had my Maths mock exam which was extremely difficult (June 2017 C3 paper) but I think I actually did alright all things considered. In physics we did some more stuff on Ideal Gases I think, I don't really remember though, maybe something to do with Kinetic Theory? Can't remember now
After school I felt a little bit crap so didn't do much. Just kind of chilled and whatnot, it didn't help but what can you do really.
Tuesday 9th JanuaryToday was just completely and utterly horrible. It was a bad day for me primarily because of memories - this day was significant to me last year for reasons I hate thinking about and I just... really didn't handle it well whatsoever. In my double study first thing I did more work on 2nd order DEs for Further Maths by just completing the two exercises we'd started in class, which was fine really. In double Further Maths we mainly just did more of the same thing - solving the equations when there are different characteristics to them, still very straightforward and I understood everything with no issues. Felt terrible at lunch so bought myself a huge bar of Galaxy Caramel to try and make myself feel better which didn't work at all, then had EPQ in which I basically just had a chat with my mentor for an hour which was quite nice. He picked up on the fact I wasn't really myself so he was a lot more sympathetic than usual, which was strange for him (he's usually quite jokey and unsympathetic) but nice all the same. After school I went to town with my sister as she needed to buy a present for her friend for her birthday, then I went home and hid in my duvet for a bit to try and make myself feel better
how embarrassing
Wednesday 10th JanuaryI was basically like a zombie today really. I slept badly the night before and so was tired, and I still didn't feel too great in myself. In double Physics we learns about Transformers and touched on AC generators, none of which made any sense to me whatsoever but I'll go over it at some point until it does. In my stats lesson, most of the class were in a biology mock exam so there weren't many of us there. We were supposed to carry on with what we'd been doing but none of us could be bothered so we all got nothing done. Then again, it's only stats so even if the rest of the class had been there I still doubt I'd have learnt anything new. Sigh, oh well. There was a similar thing going on in my core lesson afterwards so my teacher just let us have it as a study period pretty much. I tried to do some more stats but really didn't want to, so I didn't manage it. After school I came home and had fully intended on getting some work done, but within about half an hour of sitting on my bed I accidentally fell asleep and had a 2 hour nap
, getting woken up by my mum at 7 thinking it was the morning. Because I'd napped I felt groggy all evening and so couldn't manage any work in the end, so it wasn't looking good for this week.
Thursday 11th JanuaryToday was okay. I had an orthodontist appointment in the morning which went fine, and meant I missed my first two study periods. When I got to school I had 45 minutes of my third study left in which I started the June 2009 C3 paper. I got pretty far with it, getting to question 6 of 7 quite confidently in 45 minutes. In my free I ate my lunch and chilled for an hour before going to my Further Maths lesson in which we learned more about what we'd been doing. I can't remember what exactly was different about them but there was something that made them trickier, it took me a while to get my head around them but I did eventually. After school I got my hair cut! It's suuuuper short haha, it was previously about... down to the very tops of my ribs and now it just sits on my shoulders
but I seriously love it. Once I'd got back from the hairdresser's I couldn't face working, I was feeling quite lethargic and my teeth hurt so I just chilled... again... for the fourth time this week... good going
Friday 12th JanuaryToday was probably the best day of the week. My first Physics lesson was cancelled so I had a much more relaxed morning, I handed in my passport and EHIC to school for the Switzerland trip so now that's all sorted out, then in Physics we did more stuff about AC generators that I still didn't understand and did some questions which I couldn't grasp. Physics just... isn't going well right now
In my free I ate my lunch and chilled on the balcony on my own as all of my friends were in lessons pretty much, and then in my study I finished off the C3 paper from the day before and got 72 marks out of 75, which would have got me a very high A
. In Maths one of my core teachers has taken over a bit of stats and we were taught everything about the Binomial Distribution, which I already knew. It was crazy how much more we did with this teacher in one hour than we get done with the other teacher in three
but I don't really care. After school I got myself ready and went out for a meal and drinks with my friends to celebrate an 18th birthday
It was a really good night, my food was great and the drinks were good too
Had a lot of fun with my closest friends too so it was a really nice way to end a pretty dismal week. I got home at around 11pm and went to bed soon after, how responsible eh?
Saturday 13th JanuaryWhat a dreadful day. I was working 11:00-19:00 today and it was just a really bad, tiring and stressful shift. I ended up getting really angry during it and making careless mistakes which only made me more angry... it really was not good. Anyway... it finally ended and I went home and watched some comedy stuff with my mum before having to wait for my sister to come home from a party so I could go to bed as I was knackered and in a bad mood, again.
Sunday 14th JanuaryToday's been okay. I worked 9:30-17:00 and it was much easier and less stressful. Since being home I've chilled, watched some telly, ate some biscuits as I didn't want my tea, and then caught up with TSR. That's as exciting as my life gets sadly!
Hope you guys have had a relatively good week and that this coming week is bright for you guys too. I turn 18 on Thursday so I'm
hoping this week brings me a bit more happiness! Until tomorrow (hopefully), see ya!