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Girlfriend wants an abortion but I don’t.

My gf is pregnant with our first baby and wants to have an abortion. I’m against the idea and have tried to tell her to stop being f***ing stupid but she isn’t having any of it. She’s three years younger than me but we are both full time workers at my dads company and have a good income. I don’t understand why we can’t keep it. Reached a point now where our relationship is toxic. I love her loads and want to be a family. How can I persuade my gf to keep the baby?

Reply 1

Bogotá

13

If she doesn’t want it she doesn’t want it. Don’t make her have a child she doesn’t want it’s not good for anyone

Reply 2

Airmed

21

She's not being stupid, she is allowed to have an opinion.

She wants an abortion. You want a family. Seems like you are at an impasse. She's 3 years younger than you, maybe she is not emotionally ready to have a child yet?

Reply 3

Sinnoh

22

Her choice, she's the one who's pregnant, not you.

Reply 4

CTLeafez

22

Why are you having a baby if you think your relationship is toxic? Surely that's a really silly idea and won't end well for either of you or the baby.

Tbf the baby is growing inside of her so it's kinda more her decision than yours whether she aborts, as rubbish and unfair as that may be for you.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by CTLeafez

Why are you having a baby if you think your relationship is toxic? Surely that's a really silly idea and won't end well for either of you or the baby.

Tbf the baby is growing inside of her so it's kinda more her decision than yours whether she aborts, as rubbish and unfair as that may be for you.

I meant that it’s gotten toxic because we keep arguing about our baby

Reply 6

username3900288

14

Original post by Bogotá

If she doesn’t want it she doesn’t want it. Don’t make her have a child she doesn’t want it’s not good for anyone

But what about what he wants? He is the father, no?

Anyway man, all i can ask at this point is why?
Why is she pregnant? Did you two not use protection or did that just fail?
Also, how old are you lot?

Well... doesn't really matter at this point, if she aborts that child, oh sorry, i mean clump of evolving cells (still a human since it will evolve into a baby version of one but, eh), well.... that's another dead unborn child. Oh well.

But hey, i will be nice here - answer those questions and i will attempt to provide a solution to this little problem of yours.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Sinnoh

Her choice, she's the one who's pregnant, not you.

Surely I get a say in her choice. I’m the father, it’s not just her choice

Reply 8

Andrew97

Entertainment Forum Helper, Debate & Current Affairs Helper

20

Original post by Anonymous

Surely I get a say in her choice. I’m the father, it’s not just her choice

In the eyes on the law it is just her choice, along with doctors (I think)

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 9

CTLeafez

22

Original post by Qup

Well... doesn't really matter at this point, if she aborts that child, oh sorry, i mean clump of evolving cells (still a human since it will evolve into a baby version of one but, eh), well.... that's another dead unborn child. Oh well.

Sperm and egg cells will "evolve" into a human being when combined. Does that mean a period and masturbation are also destroying life?

Its not a baby, it's a blastocyst or embryo at most.

Reply 10

Bogotá

13

Both people can have a choice, a guy can walk away from an relationship and a women can ignore the guy and chose to have an abortion. Neither is very fair but that’s the way it is

Reply 11

Joleee

19

your relationship is toxic you say, so what makes you think you'd make a good family?

are you ready to forever be tied to this person, even if you break up? are you ready to split custody and pay child support if you make more money than her? it's not enough to prepare to have a child together - you must prepare yourself that you could break up 10 years from now and sharing custody often makes people miserable. what would happen if you or she wanted to move across or out of the country? i'm sure you love your girlfriend very much and can't imagine ever being apart, but most couples break up eventually. imho you should consider all possibilities.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Qup

But what about what he wants? He is the father, no?

Anyway man, all i can ask at this point is why?
Why is she pregnant? Did you two not use protection or did that just fail?
Also, how old are you lot?

Well... doesn't really matter at this point, if she aborts that child, oh sorry, i mean clump of evolving cells (still a human since it will evolve into a baby version of one but, eh), well.... that's another dead unborn child. Oh well.

But hey, i will be nice here - answer those questions and i will attempt to provide a solution to this little problem

She’s on the pill and we use a condom most of the time. I’m 24 and she’s just turned 21 . Thanks for the comment man, appreciate it.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Joleee

your relationship is toxic you say, so what makes you think you'd make a good family?

are you ready to forever be tied to this person, even if you break up? are you ready to split custody and pay child support if you make more money than her? it's not enough to prepare to have a child together - you must prepare yourself that you could break up 10 years from now and sharing custody often makes people miserable. what would happen if you or she wanted to move across or out of the country? i'm sure you love your girlfriend very much and can't imagine ever being apart, but most couples break up eventually. imho you should consider all possibilities.

It’s only toxic now because of our arguing about having a baby. She’s just hormonal af and talking nonsense, I know that she would regret getting rid of it. We won’t breakup, we luv each other too much

Reply 14

Siberiaan

21

Original post by CTLeafez

Sperm and egg cells will "evolve" into a human being when combined. Does that mean a period and masturbation are also destroying life?

Its not a baby, it's a blastocyst or embryo at most.

Do you combine both when you masturbate though?

Reply 15

999tigger

19

Original post by Anonymous

It’s only toxic now because of our arguing about having a baby. She’s just hormonal af and talking nonsense, I know that she would regret getting rid of it. We won’t breakup, we luv each other too much

You are showing an enormous amount of disrespect for your gf in the way you talk about her. Strange you claim to care for her..
How old are you both?

Reply 16

Eileen Heath

2

Very difficult situation. Best bet is to try and talk to her, maybe with a third party and find out what it is you both want and why. It is your baby too and you should have a say, legally I’m not sure what you can do, some dad’s have taken partners to court, but I’m. It sure of the outcomes. The more you argue, the more you’ll both become entrenched in your views and she’ll stick to her guns. Time isn’t on your side, but there may be an counselling service that you could both access and help you come to a decision. Though she is the one carrying the baby, you do have the right to decide the outcome. Seek help as soon as you can before you are more estranged. Good luck.

Reply 17

Thedarkscorpian

11

l believe that the father was half of the effort and the mother was half of the effort! It is not fair on the father to say that it is her baby! It is also his and they should ultimatley have an agreement in which they are both happy! However, personally I do not agree with abortion! It is understandable in certain cases! But this is unfair upon the child and the father! The fact is that when it is born it will be again his and her baby! This baby is a being and has a right to be born. The mother and father have been entrusted with making sure this happens. Do not fail this child.The killing of an innocent human being is wrong, even if that human being has yet to be born. Unborn babies are considered human beings by the US government. The federal Unborn Victims of Violence Act, which was enacted

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

To be completely honest I hope she leaves you. By your reaction here you sound about as ready to raise a child as a wooden spoon. It's her choice, and if you ended up having a daughter I would really feel sorry for her. "She’s just hormonal af" yeah, way to completely ignore the fact that as a woman she has feelings regarding what happens to her body.

You sound like a controlling misogynist with the emotional intelligence of a 15 year old and I hope your girlfriend realises that she deserves someone better sooner rather than later

Reply 19

FloralHybrid

21

Thing is, men get absolutely no say. And nor should they.

If she wants the child - She keeps it. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t. It’s her baby, and it’s her body.

All you can do is talk to her and say if she did want the child, you’d be there for them both. But this isn’t your decision to make, not at all.

(edited 5 years ago)

Girlfriend wants an abortion but I don’t.

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