First class English grad, still can’t write essays- help!

Sounds like a bit of imposter syndrome. I don't know, if you still got a first then you can't be that bad.

I get the stress though, because I'm very similar and was wondering about possible ADD. I think looking at help for the possible ADHD would be a good first step.

I graduated from university a year ago with a high first in English Literature. I got consistent firsts in all my essays across my degree. However after a year internship at the student paper I am now going onto do a postgraduate course in journalism and I am freaking out because throughout my whole degree I never learnt HOW to write an essay properly!

I have never made or used an essay plan. Ever. I have tried but I can’t. The struggle I always fall into is that I find it impossible to structure my thoughts without the process of writing. But writing is next to impossible when I have no structure or direction. So what i found myself doing for every undergrad essay was just LOADS of reading and highlighting and thinking - I’d have to think my brain to death until suddenly the “crux” of what I was trying to say just came to me (I never knew when this would happen) and then I would splurge it all out in a fairly chaotic way. My feedback tended to be that my ideas were very creative, unique and advanced but it lacked structure and it took me a while to get to them. That’s because I was doing the thinking process by writing the essay.

Does anyone have any tips as to how I can get over this? I really want to learn how to get to these interesting ideas in my mind in a more orderly way lol.

PS. may or may not be relevant but I suspect I have ADHD and am currently in the process of getting diagnosed. But I may be wrong and have never received any support for this.

Thank you!

It's a bit of a contradiction in terms, 'I got a high I class degree but can't write an essay properly'. Evidentially, you can write a good essay! It sounds like you're being a bit performative with this whole 'essay plan' thing - sometimes those formalised 'plans' don't work for everyone.

I have some kinship with your description of how you write: I tend to vomit out a load of stuff on a page, and then set to organising it all and doing some editing. I really don't think this is particularly problematic, as a modus operandi. Is the bit you're having trouble with organising, cutting and re-writing the vomited ideas? How do you write? By hand, or on a computer?

I’d have to think my brain to death until suddenly the “crux” of what I was trying to say just came to me (I never knew when this would happen)