The act of losing virginity

*NOTE* If you find this topic controversial to the point of you being likely to post a highly defamatory response, or you trying to get this topic deleted, please refrain from reading past this post.

A friend recently posed a question to me which consisted of, simply-

Does a boy (in his teenage years) become a man by meeting a girl and making loving, careful sex to her, in the same way that a boy who rapes a girl becomes a man? That is what he asked and I couldn't think of much of a reply to it, so I'm curious as to what you guys might think.

However, my initial reaction was- well a guy who has legitimate consensual sex will surely feel more rewarded...

again I don't want to offend anyone you see, just want other people to ponder the moral problem my mate asked me.

Reply 1

Cannonball

14

well, if no longer being a virgin makes you a man, then they'd both be men.
But very different kinds of men
one a good person
one an evil person

Reply 2

newg

8

no physical change happens to a man when he has sex for the first time. whether it's by consensual sex or by rape. (wtf?)

Nothing changes, he does not becoem a man by having sex, that happens by the boy deciding to become a man and doing it.

Reply 3

Sakura-Chan

20

You don't become a "man" through sex imo, not really. I'd say more so when you're capable of a proper relationship with substance.

Your friend sounds like he has a seriously warped mind tbh.

what have you done

you become are man when you are 18.

unless you're jewish.

Reply 6

_xAnonymous

10

just having sex in whatever context, does not make you a man .

Reply 7

Fynch101

13

I dont care about refraining from reading the post

there are some things you just shouldn't think/talk about
this is one of them
there is no philosophical problem that can be applied to a real life problem here, you've just made a situation up out of your sick mind and thought "hmm.. interesting" when it isn't interesting at all. Its just wrong.

please leave.

Reply 8

Corrosive Blossom

11

Anonymous

*NOTE* If you find this topic controversial to the point of you being likely to post a highly defamatory response, or you trying to get this topic deleted, please refrain from reading past this post.

A friend recently posed a question to me which consisted of, simply-

Does a boy (in his teenage years) become a man by meeting a girl and making loving, careful sex to her, in the same way that a boy who rapes a girl becomes a man? That is what he asked and I couldn't think of much of a reply to it, so I'm curious as to what you guys might think.

However, my initial reaction was- well a guy who has legitimate consensual sex will surely feel more rewarded...

again I don't want to offend anyone you see, just want other people to ponder the moral problem my mate asked me.

I don't think rewarded is the correct phrase, lol.

In my opinion, a boy does not becomes a man when he loses his virginity, but everybody will have a different perception of this.

Reply 9

Ilora-Danon

3

You're a man once you've come out the other end of 'adolescence'.

A 40 year old virgin isn't a man because he hasn't had sex? Don't think so!!

Reply 10

danny111

3

having sex made you a man?

since when?

Reply 11

paella

14

Being a man is more than having sex - I know plenty of guys who have had sex, and are still teenagers, and a few virgins who are pretty much men.

Reply 12

Broderss

3

Who rapes to lose their virginity? Surely they wouldn't know what they were doing :confused:

Sex ≠ Man

OP

Fynch101

I dont care about refraining from reading the post

there are some things you just shouldn't think/talk about
this is one of them
there is no philosophical problem that can be applied to a real life problem here, you've just made a situation up out of your sick mind and thought "hmm.. interesting" when it isn't interesting at all. Its just wrong.

please leave.

No, I'm sorry friend, but it isn't like that. I was quite affronted and frankly, stumped when I heard this question, but nevertheless, or perhaps because of how surprising the question was, I couldn't think of an answer, and the only way I can start to get a handle on the topic is to post it here. Note also that he didn't even state if he meant having sex/rape with a woman or a man. I'm as puzzled as you are.

Can I also add, that I think he didn't refer to the physical act of passing through puberty, but that of emotionally maturing to manhood. I would have pushed the topic further but he seemed to feel that he shouldn't have phrased the question as such in the first place. I think...

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

I guess I just assumed that he was talking about sex with a woman because I've never known him to show any interest in men throughout his developing life.

Reply 16

LukeatForest

13

You don't become a man from anything sexual, nor even anything relationship-oriented. You become a man by being able to stand on two feet, look life in the eye, and say to yourself that you are strong and that you have come to terms with your own mortality. It doesn't matter whether you're a virgin or not to achieve that, though many men will need to lose their virginity in order to be able to say so otherwise they'll lack the self-confidence. We are, however, talking about the metaphysics of becoming a man - strictly speaking you become a man at the end of puberty and that's it, finished, done, completed. Slow road to death.

Reply 17

JellyBean123

11

It wouldn't make you a man if you have to rob a woman of her dignity and sexual rights in order to get your jollies.

You'd be a man for knowing how to respect a girl's decisions and knowing that she is your equal in a relationship.

Reply 18

Corpsetaker

11

ronaldo91

you become are man when you are 18.

unless you're jewish.

I know the 18 part is pretty much in law and stuff, but I don't really agree with that. You should be out of your teens before you start amassing the responsibilities of a man, imo.

Reply 19

Ivan Stanchev

2

Well, my first time was when I was 17.My brother arranged me a professional hooker so that it won`t be awkward for me when doing it with a girl I value..and I guess this worked.

The act of losing virginity

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