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I'm 19 and i have urge to lose my virginity. What advice can you give me as a male

I just wanna stay healthy and don't wanna get stds , should I wait till marriage even if after I got a serious relationship

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Reply 1
It's up to you if you want to wait until marriage. Make sure you use protection!
Original post by Alananderso
I just wanna stay healthy and don't wanna get stds , should I wait till marriage even if after I got a serious relationship
Curious question why do you want to 'lose' it. Peer pressure by friends?
Reply 3
Work on finding someone who wants to do it with you. When you do, treat them and yourself with respect
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous #1
Curious question why do you want to 'lose' it. Peer pressure by friends?
I didn't even expect this , like all of my friends even female friends have partners so as a result now I have urge to find a partner and loose my virginity with her for the last time , and I'm a boy who wants to take relationship to marriage so yeah.Also there's a age that you can't take it anymore, so I am at this stage . Growing up as a kid I didnt even like relationships now I do . So you can say I'm a loyal boy))
(edited 1 month ago)
Original post by Alananderso
I didn't even expect this , like all of my friends even female friends have partners so as a result now I have urge to find a partner and loose my virginity with her for the last time , and I'm a boy who wants to take relationship to marriage so yeah.Also there's a age that you can't take it anymore, so I am at this stage . Growing up as a kid I didnt even like relationships now I do . So you can say I'm a loyal boy))
Dude, don't do what everyone else does. I know it might make you feel more "normal" because other people are losing their virginity before you, but it doesn't matter at all unless you make it matter. I think you should focus on relaxing and bettering yourself. I know when you're a newly-minted adult you want to go 200mph all the time, but doing so may make you crash head-on into a wall. I used to want loads of things in my 20s but my desperation smacked me in the face. Not saying that'll happen to you, but just chill and focus on the best parts of who you are, don't clamor for anything. By working on yourself first the rewards will come eventually. You don't want to end up in a relationship that isn't compatible, cos many people your age and much older have fallen into that trap. Humans are complicated creatures, and so to are relationships. If I could go back to being 19 I'd celebrate the fact I'm a youth still and I'd go grab experiences and I wouldn't let anybody or anything tell me to be somebody different from who I really am. I hope you don't sway yourself into believing you need to be anybody other than yourself.
Original post by Alananderso
I just wanna stay healthy and don't wanna get stds , should I wait till marriage even if after I got a serious relationship
Go forth and lose it.

You need the experience, some women punish men without experience. For example, a virgin male is laughed at but a virgin female is respected.
Original post by Wired_1800
Go forth and lose it.

You need the experience, some women punish men without experience. For example, a virgin male is laughed at but a virgin female is respected.
That couldn't be more wrong. I'm a female and I think a guy who makes himself so easily available and accessible, isn't valuable at all. In fact, I would choose a guy who is a virgin or has a very low body count just because it shows that he isn't willing to give himself away to just about anyone.
Original post by Anonymous #3
That couldn't be more wrong. I'm a female and I think a guy who makes himself so easily available and accessible, isn't valuable at all. In fact, I would choose a guy who is a virgin or has a very low body count just because it shows that he isn't willing to give himself away to just about anyone.
That’s what you think now until you actually meet a guy like that and you dump him.

The reason why I stated the above is because of another woman who made the same statement as you. She said she wanted a guy that was not sexual experience like herself as she had a low body count. After dating her lad for a few months, she broke up with him with a sad comment “he was sh*t in bed”.
Original post by Wired_1800
That’s what you think now until you actually meet a guy like that and you dump him.

The reason why I stated the above is because of another woman who made the same statement as you. She said she wanted a guy that was not sexual experience like herself as she had a low body count. After dating her lad for a few months, she broke up with him with a sad comment “he was sh*t in bed”.
So essentially, what you mean is that women who only want you for sex and physically intimacy will care about a guy sexual experience and they would prefer if they have a high body count. Well if that's what you mean, then I completely agree.

On the other hand, if a women is with you because you connect and bond emotionally and get along, well you tend to find that these kinds of women stick around for quite a long time and are loyal to you even though you're not good in bed.

I say this because I was with a guy for 4 years and even though he was not good in bed and he was a virgin, I stayed with him because I truly loved him and to me, he can be vulnerable and connect on an emotional level with me. The only reason we broke up was because of issues with his parents and he didn't want me to be exposed to that kind of drama.

So with that, I would still keep at my point that women will only care that you have lots of sexual experience if they're only with you for your body.
Original post by Anonymous #3
So essentially, what you mean is that women who only want you for sex and physically intimacy will care about a guy sexual experience and they would prefer if they have a high body count. Well if that's what you mean, then I completely agree.

On the other hand, if a women is with you because you connect and bond emotionally and get along, well you tend to find that these kinds of women stick around for quite a long time and are loyal to you even though you're not good in bed.

I say this because I was with a guy for 4 years and even though he was not good in bed and he was a virgin, I stayed with him because I truly loved him and to me, he can be vulnerable and connect on an emotional level with me. The only reason we broke up was because of issues with his parents and he didn't want me to be exposed to that kind of drama.

So with that, I would still keep at my point that women will only care that you have lots of sexual experience if they're only with you for your body.
That’s not what I was saying. Women who want men exclusively for sex is wrong. However, my point was that some women, imho, value experience in men than men value experience in women including sexual experience.

Yes, a woman can connect emotionally with a man but if the man is trash in bed, she could start getting sexually frustrated which could lead to infidelity.

I think your personal story is probably based on context as you probably were on the same sexual cadence with the lad because you both lacked sexual experience. As a result, you were able to ‘grow’ with him. This does not happen with some other ladies who are sexually experienced with double digit sexual partners that their experience could be more than men. As a result, there are expectations that could disadvantage a lad with no or less experience.

I disagree with your last paragraph.
Original post by Wired_1800
That’s not what I was saying. Women who want men exclusively for sex is wrong. However, my point was that some women, imho, value experience in men than men value experience in women including sexual experience.

Yes, a woman can connect emotionally with a man but if the man is trash in bed, she could start getting sexually frustrated which could lead to infidelity.

I think your personal story is probably based on context as you probably were on the same sexual cadence with the lad because you both lacked sexual experience. As a result, you were able to ‘grow’ with him. This does not happen with some other ladies who are sexually experienced with double digit sexual partners that their experience could be more than men. As a result, there are expectations that could disadvantage a lad with no or less experience.

I disagree with your last paragraph.

Thanks for proving my point very well. As you've mentioned 'with other ladies who are sexually experienced with double digit sexual partners', these kinds of women would want the guy to have more experience than them.
So, in this case, you should instead ask 'why would a guy want a women who has alot more sexual experience than him?'.

This is a typical example of why women cheat. Thats because they have so much experience and have been with so many different men so when they are actually with someone, they are going to compare that guy with everyone else they've been with and then eventually leave him.

Also you say that 'you probably were on the same sexual cadence with the lad because you both lacked sexual experience' but thats very contradictory to your story 'She said she wanted a guy that was not sexual experience like herself as she had a low body count. After dating her lad for a few months, she broke up with him with a sad comment “he was sh*t in bed'. So this once again proves my point that 'these kinds of women' are only with the guy for their body thats all, even though they're on the same level, 'these women' only want the guy for sex and physical intimacy and nothing else.
Original post by Wired_1800
Go forth and lose it.

You need the experience, some women punish men without experience. For example, a virgin male is laughed at but a virgin female is respected.
Why does losing virginity need to be put on a pedestal for a man? That sounds kind of cringe, I'd much rather achieve other things in life like buying a house or a new car than needlessly spreading my s**d for the sake of it just because society conditions me into 'Sex good, virgin bad' duality.
Original post by Anonymous #3
Thanks for proving my point very well. As you've mentioned 'with other ladies who are sexually experienced with double digit sexual partners', these kinds of women would want the guy to have more experience than them.
So, in this case, you should instead ask 'why would a guy want a women who has alot more sexual experience than him?'.

This is a typical example of why women cheat. Thats because they have so much experience and have been with so many different men so when they are actually with someone, they are going to compare that guy with everyone else they've been with and then eventually leave him.

Also you say that 'you probably were on the same sexual cadence with the lad because you both lacked sexual experience' but thats very contradictory to your story 'She said she wanted a guy that was not sexual experience like herself as she had a low body count. After dating her lad for a few months, she broke up with him with a sad comment “he was sh*t in bed'. So this once again proves my point that 'these kinds of women' are only with the guy for their body thats all, even though they're on the same level, 'these women' only want the guy for sex and physical intimacy and nothing else.
On average, nowadays women have more sexual partners than men. So it makes sense that men would be on average less experience than women.

From your posts, you seem to be young and not very worldly. Nowadays, the average woman is out there and has a healthy sexual life. So it makes sense for men to also have the same but according to stats about 1 in 3 men between the ages of 18 and 30 are either pure virgins or have not had sex in the past year.

To your last paragraph, the point was that sexual compatibility is essential to a healthy relationship. This tied to my original post to the main poster that he should go forth and get sexual experience. The likelihood of him meeting someone like you with relatively low sexual experience is sparse.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Why does losing virginity need to be put on a pedestal for a man? That sounds kind of cringe, I'd much rather achieve other things in life like buying a house or a new car than needlessly spreading my s**d for the sake of it just because society conditions me into 'Sex good, virgin bad' duality.
If you are a lad and hold this opinion, it’s not looking good.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Why does losing virginity need to be put on a pedestal for a man? That sounds kind of cringe, I'd much rather achieve other things in life like buying a house or a new car than needlessly spreading my s**d for the sake of it just because society conditions me into 'Sex good, virgin bad' duality.
Exactly. that's a very good point. I completely agree with you. Don't be influenced by society as to what a man's purpose is. In my opinion, its much better to spend your time on self improvement with clear goals such as buying a house, having a car and being able to live comfortably.

Don't listen to that clown. It seems to me like he's been watching way too many manosphere videos about men needing to have to multiple partners and having women means power. Go down that road, and you'll be bound to ruin yourself.
Original post by Wired_1800
If you are a lad and hold this opinion, it’s not looking good.
I'll also add I'm in my late 20s, so probably not a 'lad' as you called it. I lost the 'V' at 17. I've got a long term partner and had plenty of experiences in the past but I feel the need to defend the innocent people of this ongoing problem.

It's just silly pressuring all these young lads of today generation that losing the 'V' is the be-all-and-end-all of adult trial validation. We need to get out of this mindset, it's one of the large lingering issues of toxic masculinity still proliferating society to this day. Lots of people have sex - it's nothing special. And if you mess up (forgetting protection) there's life long consequences, mainly an unplanned pregnancy and possible STD infection. So we shouldn't shun people for lack of sexual activity.

And you might ask why is this toxic masculinity? Well, like you said, female virgin is seen as desirable but male is not.
Original post by Anonymous #3
Exactly. that's a very good point. I completely agree with you. Don't be influenced by society as to what a man's purpose is. In my opinion, its much better to spend your time on self improvement with clear goals such as buying a house, having a car and being able to live comfortably.

Don't listen to that clown. It seems to me like he's been watching way too many manosphere videos about men needing to have to multiple partners and having women means power. Go down that road, and you'll be bound to ruin yourself.
I think you are wrong about me. Why don't you come off anonymous and let’s engage like real men.

You are right that men should seek to develop important attributes and resources. However, i disagree with your portrayal of my position. I don't think that a man should seek to own a woman. I never ever made such an assertion. You are falling for the classic trick of attributing views that you possibly have heard elsewhere to mine. All i have stated is that men should get as much sexual experience as they can.
Original post by Anonymous #1
I'll also add I'm in my late 20s, so probably not a 'lad' as you called it. I lost the 'V' at 17. I've got a long term partner and had plenty of experiences in the past but I feel the need to defend the innocent people of this ongoing problem.

It's just silly pressuring all these young lads of today generation that losing the 'V' is the be-all-and-end-all of adult trial validation. We need to get out of this mindset, it's one of the large lingering issues of toxic masculinity still proliferating society to this day. Lots of people have sex - it's nothing special. And if you mess up (forgetting protection) there's life long consequences, mainly an unplanned pregnancy and possible STD infection. So we shouldn't shun people for lack of sexual activity.

And you might ask why is this toxic masculinity? Well, like you said, female virgin is seen as desirable but male is not.
Ok - you are a mature ‘lad’.

As you have pointed out, you have gotten the experience but you have to appreciate that you are possibly in the minority. There are claims in the media that younger people are having less sex than previous generations and young lads are even in a worse position. So your experience is decent compared to many guys who are stuck addicted to porn without sexual access.

I don't think i have stated any view about shunning anyone. I am a man and understand the pressures hence my advice to young men is to seek the chance (with full consent) for sexual access because experience is respected in men whether it is the experience to obtain resources, competence or perform at that highest levels.

How is it toxic masculinity that female virginity is seen positively but men’s virginity is not. You have to argue that it is toxic femininity. Women don't respect men with little or no sexual experience. It is simply the truth. If you doubt it, you can ask on TSR or IRL.
Original post by Wired_1800
Ok - you are a mature ‘lad’.

As you have pointed out, you have gotten the experience but you have to appreciate that you are possibly in the minority. There are claims in the media that younger people are having less sex than previous generations and young lads are even in a worse position. So your experience is decent compared to many guys who are stuck addicted to porn without sexual access.

I don't think i have stated any view about shunning anyone. I am a man and understand the pressures hence my advice to young men is to seek the chance (with full consent) for sexual access because experience is respected in men whether it is the experience to obtain resources, competence or perform at that highest levels.

How is it toxic masculinity that female virginity is seen positively but men’s virginity is not. You have to argue that it is toxic femininity. Women don't respect men with little or no sexual experience. It is simply the truth. If you doubt it, you can ask on TSR or IRL.
Ok I may be in the minority - but I still disagree with peddling the agenda that men need to lose the V as soon as they can. Especially now society is more sexualised than ever (music, media, the widespread availability of p*rn). It's nothing special in my eyes.

Disagree on toxic femininity - I've only ever seen people complain about men being virgins coming from men in my experience. Either from males without sex in isolated echo chambers across the web with 'Woe is me' (think there's a term for it, involuntary something but it slipped my mind), and the other main source being 'Chad' males who have already lost the 'V' but trying to use it for clout by making the rest feel bad about themselves. The examples above usually do not involve women participation at all, so it's a bit of a bit reach to blame it on feminism. Although I'm yet to encounter a female who cares about this 'body count' cr*p used as a gauge as to whether a potential partner is suitable for them, but I'm aware there's some out there. Probably not the kind of people I'd associate with.

Then you have other males who don't fit in those two categories conditioned into this mindset and just peddle it without realising the underlying causes for them to think that way. Some on this TSR forum for example

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