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The divorce rate in England is disgusting
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My parents are divorced and I've turned out just fine. The only problem I have with my situation is that there's clear dislike between my parents and I'm constantly reminded by my mum that I'm just like my dad, who she doesn't like. That aside, divorce doesn't have to be too damaging to children- it's mind over matter- if both parents deal with it as well as they can, then the kids won't be 'scarred for life'
That said, I never want to have to go through a divorce from the divorcee's perspective. I think people tend to rush into marriage these days thinking 'if it goes wrong, we'll divorce' which although practical, probably isn't the best way of looking at things. I'm sure no one marries thinking that years down the line they'll get divorced, but it shouldn't be viewed as a quick fix. People should think harder about who they choose to marry, their motives for marrying and whether both want the same things out of the marriage.
That said, I never want to have to go through a divorce from the divorcee's perspective. I think people tend to rush into marriage these days thinking 'if it goes wrong, we'll divorce' which although practical, probably isn't the best way of looking at things. I'm sure no one marries thinking that years down the line they'll get divorced, but it shouldn't be viewed as a quick fix. People should think harder about who they choose to marry, their motives for marrying and whether both want the same things out of the marriage.
jonjon123
When did you have green gems?
Don't tell me someone liked your ass?
Don't tell me someone liked your ass?
yes because thats the only post ive made on this forum
Joseph90
Tis OK. I don't get much either. Conservatism and dry humour isn't that popular.
Too true. Just seen you're from Lincoln and support Derby County. Same here on both counts.
The only thing I can say to this is that British Society is breaking down slowly and this is one of the few areas where 'immigrants' and what not have absolutely **** all to do with. Funny how this topic is never covered by the BNP.
David Cameron did touch on this matter in a few of his past speeches
David Cameron did touch on this matter in a few of his past speeches
FullFrontal
I'm pretty sure it would be worse if my parents were together.
My 'father' had no intention of caring for me or my brother, never contributed to our upbringing and was unfaithful and violent to my mother.
In my opinion my mother took responsibility and realised her problem...him and kicked him out!
I'm assuming you've had the perfect childhood and don't realise that some problems cannot be resolved!
My 'father' had no intention of caring for me or my brother, never contributed to our upbringing and was unfaithful and violent to my mother.
In my opinion my mother took responsibility and realised her problem...him and kicked him out!
I'm assuming you've had the perfect childhood and don't realise that some problems cannot be resolved!
Exactly the same here, except I'm the only child.
My dad used to leave me in the house by myself when I was 5, forget to pick me up from school or make excuses not to, had a string of affairs, mentally abused both my mother and I, and at one point I was so depressed I seriously considered suicide.
Incidentally, out of all the people I know, the one's who's parents are still together are the most depressed, neurotic, and unstable people I know. What do you make of that, eh?
Areyoukidding?
It seems like every single person I speak to has split parents.
I'm sick of hearing all this "it's better for the kids if we break up" crap - no it's not you retarded ****. It's better for the kids if you take some responsibility and work out your problems instead of doing the selfish thing and then trying to justify it in the name of your children.
I'm sick of hearing all this "it's better for the kids if we break up" crap - no it's not you retarded ****. It's better for the kids if you take some responsibility and work out your problems instead of doing the selfish thing and then trying to justify it in the name of your children.
Yeah, like has already been said. Some problems are just impossible to sort out. When i were younger, i'd have used to agree with your comments. However the older and wiser i get the more i realise that there are a huge number of potential issues where there simply isn't any compromise, its either one way or the other. The looser ends up feeling resentful, it causes arguments and the only way out is to leave the relationship
tom//
lol. my whole reply was because you were acting like splitting up is always a good thing for the child. its not. i dont know how you can think it is, because simply put not all the cases of divorce stem from a bad environment at the home. which my parents divorce certainly did not. it was just a sudden thing by one of my parents. so before you start assuming that they hated each other or they are "utterly miserable" think again, because it wasnt the case, and that wishing i lived with them both does not make me selfish.
Your main flaw to your argument is that you think for some strange reason that all children who are put through divorce will have experienced the sight of their parents fighting or a "bad atmosphere", and that them splitting up will remove this. i dont know where youve got this idea from tbh, i certainly never experienced my parents arguing or being utterly miserable.
Your main flaw to your argument is that you think for some strange reason that all children who are put through divorce will have experienced the sight of their parents fighting or a "bad atmosphere", and that them splitting up will remove this. i dont know where youve got this idea from tbh, i certainly never experienced my parents arguing or being utterly miserable.
I'm not going to enquiry into the reason of your parents marriage. However, I'll say that while it's true that you didn't experience any problems. The thing that caused your parent to divorce would most likely have manifested itself negatively as time goes on. It sounds like one person decided to stop things before things could potentially get out of hand.
Obviously you wanted them to stay together especially since there didn't appear to be any major problem at the time, but can you be so certain that it would have continued down a peaceful track?
The people here who see all the negativity, is because two people have stayed together when things should have been cut off a long time ago (or dealt with either by themselves or a professional marriage counsellor). They see the impact of a relationship that has run it's course.
jonjon123
Weren't they in foster care though?
Yes because their married parents were so awful.
If my parents hadn't divorced I'd probably be a drug addict by now with the father I had, my parents divorce was a bloody good thing. Basically a lot of problems cant be sorted out.
Where are people getting the idea that half of all marriages actually DO have irreconcilable problems, or that humans aren't naturally monogamous?
Delta Usafa
Where are people getting the idea that half of all marriages actually DO have irreconcilable problems, or that humans aren't naturally monogamous?
For the last point - you just have to look at history. Humans have only in the last four-thousand years or so actually engaged in monogamous relationships, and marriage as we know it has only really been a concept that has existed since the 1500s (and is mainly a religious construct). Prior to that, although people would 'mate' and form something similar to families, it wasn't 'for life' as we know it.
Plus, biologically, we don't fit the same 'criteria' or structure as other monogamous animals, we are far, far more similar to animals that don't mate for life.
Are you kidding?
It seems like every single person I speak to has split parents.
I'm sick of hearing all this "it's better for the kids if we break up" crap - no it's not you retarded ****. It's better for the kids if you take some responsibility and work out your problems instead of doing the selfish thing and then trying to justify it in the name of your children.
I'm sick of hearing all this "it's better for the kids if we break up" crap - no it's not you retarded ****. It's better for the kids if you take some responsibility and work out your problems instead of doing the selfish thing and then trying to justify it in the name of your children.
So true
Obviously people should split up if they are abusing each other or whatever, but why does it even reach that stage?
Take some damn responsibility and work through your problems instead of throwing your dollies out the pram like a baby ffs, even if your wife/husband is a moron you can live with it without hitting them
I think people need to realise what their doing when they marry someone, once married it's your responsibility to society to make things work between you. If they don't work, you should've never got married in the first place. IMO there is no excuse for divorce, its just a result of people jumping into marriage too fast.
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