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Do you HAVE to come out to the world? (about being homosex) Watch

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    Is it necessary? If no one asks no one need know.

    I'm not flamboyant or in your face with my sexuality, but is it morally/politically correct to let people know...just in case they have preferences in friendships/acquaintances or whatevs.

    Can you just go through life not telling anyone who need not know? On top of my reserved personality I also come from an intolerant background...so yeah. :dontknow:

    Thanks
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    Well I don't go around saying "Hi my names Joe, I'm a heterosexual did you know?". So no..you don't have to announce it as if it's some official thing you have to state when meeting people. Obviously if you have a boyfriend and are affectionate in public then people will assume or possibly ask if they're a little unsure, then of course you'd be best to tell them.

    The large majority, and I mean LARGE majority of people are not going to have preferences on sexuality when it comes to being your acquaintance or friend, do not let your background make assumptions about your peers...unless of course it's a religious intolerance and your peers share the faith..
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    Well I don't go around saying "Hi my names Joe, I'm a heterosexual did you know?". So no..you don't have to announce it as if it's some official thing you have to state when meeting people. Obviously if you have a boyfriend and are affectionate in public then people will assume or possibly ask if they're a little unsure, then of course you'd be best to tell them.

    The large majority, and I mean LARGE majority of people are not going to have preferences on sexuality when it comes to being your acquaintance or friend, do not let your background make assumptions about your peers...unless of course it's a religious intolerance and your peers share the faith..
    Yeah but sometimes I feel a bit insecure. I used to have a few asian friends and I'd never told them (or anyone) but they were really deeply homophobic and i don't think they would have been pleased to hear it. I just think, in new situations, it is necessary. For example many times at parties etc I engage in banter and having a good time with the lads unbeknownst to them that I was gay and then recently (twice) I mentioned I was gay at a gathering and I was excluded, dismissed by the guys and another time I was left with the girls whilst the guys went out to get more booze without asking if I wanted to come to. I know I shouldn't get sensitive about it... but what can I do.. I'm gay :p:

    Nahh srsly, it sort of bums me out.
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    If someone the first time i met them was to shout at me hi im so and so and im gay i would be a little like err okay. If you dont feel the need to shout about it at every oppourtunity then dont, your defined more by your personality, not by your sexuality as such.
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    (Original post by cakekiscool)
    I'm not flamboyant or in your face with my sexuality, but is it morally/politically correct to let people know...just in case they have preferences in friendships/acquaintances or whatevs.
    Absolutely not. What kind of a BS 'preference' is that? There aren't as many homophobes out there as you might believe. Just be yourself; don't feel the need to mention it and don't feel the need to not mention it. I accept we're not at the stage where everyone doesn't act any differently around homosexuals but it's not nearly as bad as other countries and most people have 'grown up' by 20+
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    no. no one needs to know. but it would be nice to let your parents know.

    I have a cousin who has never 'come out' to his extended relatives. But we have always got the impression he was, and then some of his family members mentioned it passively... not really a big deal. We now know he lives with his boyfriend.
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    I know what you mean...

    I'm bi, and at the moment I have a boyfriend, so really no-one would know unless I said... I sometimes do explicitly tell people, but only if it comes up in conversation... like once a guy from the flat opposite was talking about how hot he thinks Nicole Scheizinger is, and said "I can't believe everyone in the world doesn't think she's fit... How can you not?" And I was like, "I can probably understand better than you think".

    I once heard someone say that they wouldn't tell their parents about their favourite sexual position, so why would they really need to explicitly tell them their other preferences unless it was going to effect them?
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    (Original post by cakekiscool)
    Yeah but sometimes I feel a bit insecure. I used to have a few asian friends and I'd never told them (or anyone) but they were really deeply homophobic and i don't think they would have been pleased to hear it. I just think, in new situations, it is necessary. For example many times at parties etc I engage in banter and having a good time with the lads unbeknownst to them that I was gay and then recently (twice) I mentioned I was gay at a gathering and I was excluded, dismissed by the guys and another time I was left with the girls whilst the guys went out to get more booze without asking if I wanted to come to. I know I shouldn't get sensitive about it... but what can I do.. I'm gay :p:

    Nahh srsly, it sort of bums me out.
    those guys were Asian as well?

    Generally if someone is going to take issue to your sexuality it will be another male, females will likely be much more accepting. However again most males won't have an issue. But lets say we just met, I'd find it a bit weird if one of the first things you said was the fact you were gay, I'd not expect a gay man to announce his sexuality to me like it was his identity. After chatting for a while if he mentioned his partner, who was male, that would be totally understandable, or if we were talking about someone else's relationship or a girl and he said "well I don't need to worry about that being gay!", that again would be fine, just not on the opening few sentences basically.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    those guys were Asian as well?

    Generally if someone is going to take issue to your sexuality it will be another male, females will likely be much more accepting. However again most males won't have an issue. But lets say we just met, I'd find it a bit weird if one of the first things you said was the fact you were gay, I'd not expect a gay man to announce his sexuality to me like it was his identity. After chatting for a while if he mentioned his partner, who was male, that would be totally understandable, or if we were talking about someone else's relationship or a girl and he said "well I don't need to worry about that being gay!", that again would be fine, just not on the opening few sentences basically.
    No they were white, but they definitely were treading on egg shells after finding out. I suppose I should just be more chilled about it, I love female company as much as the next guy (gay or straight) but I don't want to be boxed with them all the time. I just want to be normal. Thanks for the advice though
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    (Original post by cakekiscool)
    No they were white, but they definitely were treading on egg shells after finding out. I suppose I should just be more chilled about it, I love female company as much as the next guy (gay or straight) but I don't want to be boxed with them all the time. I just want to be normal. Thanks for the advice though
    You'll just have to keep looking really, some people are still pretty ignorant about it. Although it is a generalisation in my life I've experienced that those of a lower intelligence and lower social class are less accepting of homosexuality, again a big generalisation I admit, just from what I've noted when mixing with different groups.

    Anyway female company is fine, I prefer it to male company and I don't have any close male friends, just how it is haha.
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    Honestly, no one cares anymore.
    It really pisses me off when celebrities come out saying 'oo im gay every one look at me give me sympathy', no one gives a ****, OK, its the 21st century.
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    (Original post by Lewroll)
    Honestly, no one cares anymore.
    It really pisses me off when celebrities come out saying 'oo im gay every one look at me give me sympathy', no one gives a ****, OK, its the 21st century.
    Does it help, being gay, if you are a celebrity? They all seem a bit too... fabulous to relate to though. Which is why I find them so confusing. I don;t understand how these people are meant to be 'role models' when all they do is *****/gossip or grab naked womens flabby bits and tell them they look gorgeous
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    (Original post by cakekiscool)
    Does it help, being gay, if you are a celebrity? They all seem a bit too... fabulous to relate to though. Which is why I find them so confusing. I don;t understand how these people are meant to be 'role models' when all they do is *****/gossip or grab naked womens flabby bits and tell them they look gorgeous
    I dont know. Probably. I dont really care. Just do what you want to do and stop seeking approval.

    EDIT: Why the hell was I negged?
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    (Original post by cakekiscool)
    Is it necessary? If no one asks no one need know.

    I'm not flamboyant or in your face with my sexuality, but is it morally/politically correct to let people know...just in case they have preferences in friendships/acquaintances or whatevs.

    Can you just go through life not telling anyone who need not know? On top of my reserved personality I also come from an intolerant background...so yeah. :dontknow:

    Thanks
    I often hear this claim that people are perfectly tolerant of homosexuality and it's no problem whatosever in this day-and-age. In reality, I don't really see that play out, I think a lot of people are still that little bit uncomfortable with the idea. Not many people are explicitly nasty about it anymore, which is fantastic, but there's still that slight awkwardness around the topic.

    For that reason, I think you should only really mention it to people on a need-to-know basis. It's just not worth it, I don't feel you have any moral obligation to let people know.
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    lol JUST LOL

    Op was a girl complaining about twilight a few days ago. :confused:

    Edit: Who negged me for this? I know OP irl. :yep:
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    I think you can leave out the postman.
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    i dont want to sound like im an expert on this
    but one of my closest friends came out about two years ago. It wasn't like he came out to the world, he just came out to his parents and close friends and just let everyone else gradually find out. i think if he came out to everyone all at once it would have been alot of pressure for him, he never remarks it as a difficult thing to do because he ddnt make any sort of a big deal out of it.

    Not sure if the this helps but i hope it does xxx
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    (Original post by ipulledhermione)
    lol JUST LOL

    Op was a girl complaining about twilight a few days ago. :confused:

    Edit: Who negged me for this? I know OP irl. :yep:
    this is true - UNFORTUNATELY.
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    My friends know, I initially told my best friends, but then eventually more and more people just knew. It feels good in a way because I can just be me, with no pressure to 'repress' anything. I'm not obviously gay (as in camp etc), but it's the fact that I can, say, talk about guys without people being all :wtf:
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    Well I don't go around saying "Hi my names Joe, I'm a heterosexual did you know?". So no..you don't have to announce it as if it's some official thing you have to state when meeting people.
    Although I essentially agree that there's certainly no obligation to let people know when you meet them, it's not comparable to saying "I'm straight" when meeting people... Hetrosexual people make up the majority of the population, so most people would naturally assume you were straight unless you told them otherwise. That's why it's more of an issue I suppose for gay or bi people, because it's a bit less common.
 
 
 
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