Better to focus on alevels or boyfriend?
Currently in year13 and I’ve been getting A*s in every subject. I’m applying to Oxford too and I want to have a really good job when I’m older. My friends have all got boyfriends and recently I’ve been feeling down about the fact that I’ve never had a boyfriend. I think I’m decently pretty, I’ve been asked out a few times but I’ve always said no because I’ve made a rule with myself that I don’t want to date until uni because I don’t want a boy to get in the way with my future.
However, with all my friends being in relationships and me being a hopeless romantic (lol), I’ve been feeling so jealous. Even though I’m talking to a guy who is so sweet to me and we both like the same things.
I just want to wait until uni to have a bf but with my friend now having a bf, I just feel so left out
However, with all my friends being in relationships and me being a hopeless romantic (lol), I’ve been feeling so jealous. Even though I’m talking to a guy who is so sweet to me and we both like the same things.
I just want to wait until uni to have a bf but with my friend now having a bf, I just feel so left out
Original post by Zarek
Go for work hard, play hard. The most successful people are busy and achieving in every aspect of life
I know, I just feel like I really want to focus on myself atm but my surroundings and environment is restricting me from doing so
Original post by Anonymous
Currently in year13 and I’ve been getting A*s in every subject. I’m applying to Oxford too and I want to have a really good job when I’m older. My friends have all got boyfriends and recently I’ve been feeling down about the fact that I’ve never had a boyfriend. I think I’m decently pretty, I’ve been asked out a few times but I’ve always said no because I’ve made a rule with myself that I don’t want to date until uni because I don’t want a boy to get in the way with my future.
However, with all my friends being in relationships and me being a hopeless romantic (lol), I’ve been feeling so jealous. Even though I’m talking to a guy who is so sweet to me and we both like the same things.
I just want to wait until uni to have a bf but with my friend now having a bf, I just feel so left out
However, with all my friends being in relationships and me being a hopeless romantic (lol), I’ve been feeling so jealous. Even though I’m talking to a guy who is so sweet to me and we both like the same things.
I just want to wait until uni to have a bf but with my friend now having a bf, I just feel so left out
Please, please, please - focus on your A levels 💝 Boyfriends come and go in life your A levels won’t.
Think of results day … you want to go there with excitement and knowing you have done your best. You don’t want to go there upset ( because he dumped you/ used you/ and you didn’t work hard enough and your grades have suffered).
Never mind about anyone else. Peer group pressure? They are too busy thinking about themselves so some of what you are feeling is self perception that is misinformed. Thousands and thousands of young men & women have never had romantic partners. I didn’t date until I was 21. No big deal.
Just think about how thrilled you will be when you get to your Uni of choice. There your adult life will begin & you will have plenty of partners to choose from. Happy days! 💘💘💘
Original post by Anonymous
I know, I just feel like I really want to focus on myself atm but my surroundings and environment is restricting me from doing so
Do what you feel is right. As others have said, A levels are much more important for the future currently than a relationship
Original post by Anonymous
Currently in year13 and I’ve been getting A*s in every subject. I’m applying to Oxford too and I want to have a really good job when I’m older. My friends have all got boyfriends and recently I’ve been feeling down about the fact that I’ve never had a boyfriend. I think I’m decently pretty, I’ve been asked out a few times but I’ve always said no because I’ve made a rule with myself that I don’t want to date until uni because I don’t want a boy to get in the way with my future.
However, with all my friends being in relationships and me being a hopeless romantic (lol), I’ve been feeling so jealous. Even though I’m talking to a guy who is so sweet to me and we both like the same things.
I just want to wait until uni to have a bf but with my friend now having a bf, I just feel so left out
However, with all my friends being in relationships and me being a hopeless romantic (lol), I’ve been feeling so jealous. Even though I’m talking to a guy who is so sweet to me and we both like the same things.
I just want to wait until uni to have a bf but with my friend now having a bf, I just feel so left out
Sweetheart, you're not losing anything. You're saving yourself heartaches, pressures, wasted time and distractions. The power of focus has supported your grades thus far, keep at it. Some might try to push you to get involved, you don't know what their life's are like. Some reach 18 and already suffered 3 or more break ups and that I shocking. I dated in Uni, had good grades and I just finished with a distinction for my MBA. I took my time and the right person came. I am still with her. It can seem as if you are missing out, yes. Some feelings of jealousy might sting sometimes, yes. However, let your driving force be your ultimate goal. As young adults, hormones are pulsating at neck breaking speed and it drives a lot into doing things they wished they had waited for a bit longer. The world will brand you lame and shame you sometimes but, keep your goal in focus. The riches of your decision will come alive when you are older. There is no rush to it.
Original post by Anonymous
I want to have a really good job when I’m older.
The more clarity you have on the money earning issue, the better.
What do you class as a really good job?
When do you want to have it?
What do you intend doing between today and the day you have a really good job?
Clear goals help you take clear action. Instead of frittering away your time.
I know that as an 18 year old it may difficult for you to have a clear idea on this. Because you may never have had a full time job in a field of your choice.
Intelligence and ambition don't count for much if they're not directed into effective and efficient action.
thanks i am in same situation
Original post by Anonymous
However, with all my friends being in relationships and me being a hopeless romantic (lol), I’ve been feeling so jealous.
The worst reason in the world to get a boyfriend - 'because everyone else has one'.
Get your education; I did, got my dream job and am now in an LTR with someone I met at work...
Original post by Anonymous
Currently in year13 and I’ve been getting A*s in every subject. I’m applying to Oxford too and I want to have a really good job when I’m older. My friends have all got boyfriends and recently I’ve been feeling down about the fact that I’ve never had a boyfriend. I think I’m decently pretty, I’ve been asked out a few times but I’ve always said no because I’ve made a rule with myself that I don’t want to date until uni because I don’t want a boy to get in the way with my future.
However, with all my friends being in relationships and me being a hopeless romantic (lol), I’ve been feeling so jealous. Even though I’m talking to a guy who is so sweet to me and we both like the same things.
I just want to wait until uni to have a bf but with my friend now having a bf, I just feel so left out
However, with all my friends being in relationships and me being a hopeless romantic (lol), I’ve been feeling so jealous. Even though I’m talking to a guy who is so sweet to me and we both like the same things.
I just want to wait until uni to have a bf but with my friend now having a bf, I just feel so left out
It's completely normal to feel left out! When the time is right, a boyfriend will come along for you too- whether that be now before your ALevels (at which point you will still be getting A*s because you will find someone that can help you balance everything) or whether that's when you go to Uni like you've always wanted! You don't not have a boyfriend because you're not pretty or good enough, it's just that you've never really let yourself go for someone because you're focused on your studies (which is completely fine unless they're suffocating you). If an opportunity with a guy you like arises, take it, you're smart and you won't have to choose between them, but don't force yourself to get with a random guy just to have a bf, make sure you're not only a smartie (as you are now) but happy as well!
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
The more clarity you have on the money earning issue, the better.
What do you class as a really good job?
When do you want to have it?
What do you intend doing between today and the day you have a really good job?
Clear goals help you take clear action. Instead of frittering away your time.
I know that as an 18 year old it may difficult for you to have a clear idea on this. Because you may never have had a full time job in a field of your choice.
Intelligence and ambition don't count for much if they're not directed into effective and efficient action.
What do you class as a really good job?
When do you want to have it?
What do you intend doing between today and the day you have a really good job?
Clear goals help you take clear action. Instead of frittering away your time.
I know that as an 18 year old it may difficult for you to have a clear idea on this. Because you may never have had a full time job in a field of your choice.
Intelligence and ambition don't count for much if they're not directed into effective and efficient action.
I come from a family where only my dad works and though we have enough to supply the whole family, there have been many occasions where we can’t simply afford things and I want that to change.
In my eyes, a really good job would be one where I’d earn a good amount, without having to undergo stress. So medicine, though is a respected job, is not something I’d like to go into. I’m planning to work extremely hard now, so I can have a chill and more on the relaxed side job.
I want to have a job as soon as I finish uni. But I know that getting the job that I desire for will take time and progression. I feel like as soon as I get my first job, I’ll feel accomplished regardless.
Between today and the day I get the job, I plan to work hard on my alevels. At university, I feel like I’ll be more mature so I can have a work life balance. Hence why I think having a bf at uni seems reasonable (obviously if it’s the right time and it feels to be the right person).
I know so so many of my friends have wasted year 12 on boys and messing around and they’re predicted Us and Ds for their alevels. I don’t want to be derailed which is why I want to steer clear from boyfriends for the moment.
What do you call a good amount?
£30k per year (before tax)? £50k? £100k?
What would stress you out at work?
For example, I'd be more stressed working under a Sergeant Major type boss than if I was the boss. Whilst for other people, it's the other way round.
Would having to be at a place of work at a certain time every day stress you out?
Would commuting to work stress you out?
Would travelling to different locations stress you out?
Would going to the same location every work day stress you out? Or would meeting new people at new locations each day or each week stress you out?
Would doing a repetitive set of tasks stress you out?
Would a lack of routine in your work stress you out?
Would you being given clear deadlines stress you out? Would open ended work with no set deadlines stress you out?
What about when it comes to the priority between earning more money and minimising stress? Which is more important to you?
How do you think working extremely hard now on your A levels will result in you having a more relaxed job? Say for example you get 3 or 4 A*'s, how does that help you get a more relaxed job than if you got BBC?
Do you think someone is going to offer to pay you a lot of money for the cushiest of jobs, because they're impressed you got A*'s and went to Oxford? Or do you think it's more likely in the real world that people will pay you for solving their problems or satisfying their needs or wants (in the broadest sense of these terms)? And that your ability to provide a desired service or goods to others will have nothing to do with your academic achievements and a lot to do with other stuff, such as exactly what service or goods you can supply.
There's a lot to think about here. But your future money earning is key. Get clear goals on that and everything else, including when and where to get your first boyfriend will fall into place.
You're not some average idiot. You're a cut above the norm. Let's get your thinking on your career goals a cut above the norm. And tailored to you. So that you can have a fantastic, amazing life.
Think of it as your money earning goals, behaviour and actions for the next 5 years should be like the finest tailored set of clothes made from the finest materials. Pure quality that fits you perfectly. And not some off the peg, baggy polyester outfit from Primark. And not some hugely expensive, ready to wear Gucci dress that gives you an initial thrill on getting it, but ultimately leaves you dissatisfied.
£30k per year (before tax)? £50k? £100k?
What would stress you out at work?
For example, I'd be more stressed working under a Sergeant Major type boss than if I was the boss. Whilst for other people, it's the other way round.
Would having to be at a place of work at a certain time every day stress you out?
Would commuting to work stress you out?
Would travelling to different locations stress you out?
Would going to the same location every work day stress you out? Or would meeting new people at new locations each day or each week stress you out?
Would doing a repetitive set of tasks stress you out?
Would a lack of routine in your work stress you out?
Would you being given clear deadlines stress you out? Would open ended work with no set deadlines stress you out?
What about when it comes to the priority between earning more money and minimising stress? Which is more important to you?
How do you think working extremely hard now on your A levels will result in you having a more relaxed job? Say for example you get 3 or 4 A*'s, how does that help you get a more relaxed job than if you got BBC?
Do you think someone is going to offer to pay you a lot of money for the cushiest of jobs, because they're impressed you got A*'s and went to Oxford? Or do you think it's more likely in the real world that people will pay you for solving their problems or satisfying their needs or wants (in the broadest sense of these terms)? And that your ability to provide a desired service or goods to others will have nothing to do with your academic achievements and a lot to do with other stuff, such as exactly what service or goods you can supply.
There's a lot to think about here. But your future money earning is key. Get clear goals on that and everything else, including when and where to get your first boyfriend will fall into place.
You're not some average idiot. You're a cut above the norm. Let's get your thinking on your career goals a cut above the norm. And tailored to you. So that you can have a fantastic, amazing life.
Think of it as your money earning goals, behaviour and actions for the next 5 years should be like the finest tailored set of clothes made from the finest materials. Pure quality that fits you perfectly. And not some off the peg, baggy polyester outfit from Primark. And not some hugely expensive, ready to wear Gucci dress that gives you an initial thrill on getting it, but ultimately leaves you dissatisfied.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Currently in year13 and I’ve been getting A*s in every subject. I’m applying to Oxford too and I want to have a really good job when I’m older. My friends have all got boyfriends and recently I’ve been feeling down about the fact that I’ve never had a boyfriend. I think I’m decently pretty, I’ve been asked out a few times but I’ve always said no because I’ve made a rule with myself that I don’t want to date until uni because I don’t want a boy to get in the way with my future.
However, with all my friends being in relationships and me being a hopeless romantic (lol), I’ve been feeling so jealous. Even though I’m talking to a guy who is so sweet to me and we both like the same things.
I just want to wait until uni to have a bf but with my friend now having a bf, I just feel so left out
However, with all my friends being in relationships and me being a hopeless romantic (lol), I’ve been feeling so jealous. Even though I’m talking to a guy who is so sweet to me and we both like the same things.
I just want to wait until uni to have a bf but with my friend now having a bf, I just feel so left out
your academics should be your biggest gaols especially if you want to go to oxford. Once you go to oxford there is 9 times out of 10 chance you won’t even have time for this boyfriend that (unfortunately) most probably won’t last.
Focus on your A-Levels all the way at least until you have finished studying.
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