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Would you *ever* give up your ideal dreams/future/career for your perfect partner? watch

  • View Poll Results: Ideal future or perfect partner?
    Ideal future
    49.38%
    Perfect partner
    50.62%

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    (Original post by natashapt)
    A family is different to a career. Once you have reached the highest point in your career, there is no furthering yourself. With a family, it will keep growing and there will always be higher points than the last, seeing your childrens first steps, watching them graduate, walking them down the aisle, seeing your grandkids. There's never any boundaries when it comes to families..
    Surely it would depend on the career, wouldn't it?

    What if your "ideal future" was helping orphans all around the world? There are a lot of orphans...
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    (Original post by natashapt)
    That's not the point. What I'm trying to say is that there are so many different options when it comes to having a family, it is limitless the joy they can potentially give you. Once you have fulfilled your career and gotten to where you want to be, what next? This is only my opinion, for some people a career would be their most fulfillling thing and would keep them happy, for me, I know to be happy and in love with my perfect partner would greatly outweigh that.
    The same that happens when your kids have done all the "milestones" - you are just happy in the fairly constant state that you are. Things aren't the same every day, there are new challenges in both from day to day.

    Just to mention that I selected partner too, but I can see the appeal of career.
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    (Original post by humble_bumble)
    Perfect Future.

    But if it meant, perfect future and no partner..Id go for my perfect partner first, then work to get a future?

    Dunno....Got me thinking now :/
    No, you can't do that.
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    (Original post by natashapt)
    Id choose my partner.
    Why?
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    haha i love how you phrased this question so all the smart a$ TSRs cant try to say wimpy stuff like
    "my true partner would share my dreams with me"
    "happiness is my goal and so my dream is a combination/compromise of both"
    Because I knew that would happen, and it still happened. :rolleyes:

    im 25 and have seen loads of girls at uni with good degrees who were aspiring doctors, barristers, etc give up and take [email protected] jobs that dont need a degree, like working in shops or personal training/gym cleaning, just so they can move closer to their current bf and plan their life around spending the most time with him. Also pushing toward 30, the majority of women turn marriage and baby crazy and that is their all absorbing goal in life :rolleyes:
    What? :lolwut: No wonder sexism within the workplace still exists.
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    no.
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    (Original post by street.lovin')
    Onve you have family, generally you are supposed to have some people who cares abouty oua nd will always be by your side. You send your kids to go to school and watch them grow up and achieve good results in exams. You will encourage your kid to do whatever he wants to do (only good things, of course). Once you get older and older they come round and visit you, bring in your grandchildren who will run around in the house and make you laugh. When you get really old, you have a big family, you get to live to tell the tales to your grandchildren about when you were young and what you experience in your whole life. (You can live that long if you choose career, too )
    And realising that every day, I could've done something, I could've worked for my goals, I could've made my dreams happen...

    When you die, at your funeral people (your grandchildrens, your sons/daugthers and your husband etc.) will gather around your coffin and cry for your leaving.
    And? I couldn't give a **** if no one came to my funeral; or even if I were thrown onto a skip. I'm dead, I really wouldn't care.

    That, for me, is happiness. I love it when everytime I come home I can feel the warmth of family.
    For me it isn't.

    You don't know that. If you age is truely just 15/16 years old, you probably have not got to work yet.
    Bring in the age card. :rolleyes:

    At some point in your life, you will need someone. You will love him and will want to spend time with him.
    Then I got sense and realised "**** that, I have one shot in life, I'll do what I want".

    For this question, in reality people will try to keep both. Perfect man will often encourage you to do whatever you want e.g. persue your dream. So both can definitely happen at the same time. For me, if I had to choose, I will go for my perfect partner. Because, well, he is perfect and I will probably want to live with him for the whole life.
    Does it happen for everyone?

    This question is worded to see what you would pick if you HAD to choose one or the other.
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    (Original post by Melting Sugar.)
    Definitely give up dreams - there's no point in having it all if you've no one to share it with. It'd be incredibly lonely.
    No it won't. Only if you make yourself lonely.

    What if you had to be a housewife to marry your dream man? Do you fancy that?
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    (Original post by M1F2R3)
    Yeah
    Why?
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    (Original post by Cicerao)
    It's naive because it's a list of Kodak moments which are often far from the reality. I'm sure my grandmother expected grandchildren running round happily and her children visiting all the time. She got put in the nursing home which my father went to very infrequently. I'm sure my mother expected her children to get good grades. My sister has no GCSEs and lives on the dole. I'm sure she expected a close family visiting each other. I'm 5 hours away and later moving to Brazil.

    Don't kid yourself that your kids will do exactly as you imagine because you'll "bring them up" in a certain way. Your kids could end up close to you and have grandchildren "making you laugh." Or they could end up on the dole, move 5 hours away, be childless and never see you. And that is the reality of having children.
    True. That's why I said I 'want' my family to be like that. I also said 'it does not always happen, but it is not impossible' ... Both can happen in reality. I know at least one family that is like that. :P

    I am not kidding myself. I do believe in my parenting ability to encourage my kids to have good future although I realise that I won't have any power to bring up my grandkids. But I will always support them to do good things, whether they do or not it's up to them.

    That is sad about your grandmother. I am pretty sure I won't put my mum in a nursing home even if she wants to. That's because, due to my culture, it is an insult to someone who brought me up. It's hard to look after my family and my mummy at the same time but I will do it. Just like when she did to me and my sisters. I know it is none of my business to talk about your family, but my mum, for one, will be one of the most happiest grandmother in the world. And I hope my grandkid/my kids will want to do the same thing for me.

    BUT if they don't, oh well, I just have to live with it. I would probably end up in the same situation if I chose career instead of partner/family. (Just added this last sentence to stick with the topic on the thread).
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    (Original post by Cicerao)
    Who says they will necessarily graduate, walk down the aisle or have children?
    This. Your children could be potential criminals, you just never know.
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    (Original post by omnom515)
    no. if they were perfect they'd support my aspirations and i wouldn't have to sacrifice them after all if i'm going to be working for a good 40 or so years i want to be happy with my career - what's the point of working just for the sake of earining money?
    :facepalm2:

    *If you had to choose...
    *Ideal future =/= working for money
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    (Original post by Eloise987)
    But what if you were in an accident whilst biking and you couldn't do it anymore. Then you're left with nothing.

    (Clearly I hope you don't have an accident)
    What if you married your perfect girl and she died the next day?
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    I'd settle for good health, something to do, a place to call home and a mortal partner.. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Why?
    I'd rather have a partner who appreciates me rather than monetary gifts, which come from having a decent career.

    I'm confident I could provide for a family if I gave up my career choice, currently I want to work in Saudi Arabia, though if I am married by the time I become chartered in my profession, I would stay in the UK unless my partner wanted to move abroad.
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    (Original post by street.lovin')
    I know it is none of my business to talk about your family, but my mum, for one, will be one of the most happiest grandmother in the world.
    She had Alzheimers, couldn't remember who her family even were and died. So I think the chances of offending her are slim. :ninja:
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    No, you can't do that.
    Yes, in reality you can. In your question, you can't.

    (Original post by im so academic)
    And realising that every day, I could've done something, I could've worked for my goals, I could've made my dreams happen...

    And? I couldn't give a **** if no one came to my funeral; or even if I were thrown onto a skip. I'm dead, I really wouldn't care.

    For me it isn't.

    Bring in the age card. :rolleyes:
    Then I got sense and realised "**** that, I have one shot in life, I'll do what I want".

    Does it happen for everyone?

    This question is worded to see what you would pick if you HAD to choose one or the other.
    Yep, there is an opportunity cost. I think choosing family is worth it. I believe my familywill make me more happy than career would.

    You don't care. I do. I want someone to care about me when I die. :P

    For me it is. I thought we were talking about me and my decision? You prefer career so you would be opposite to me.

    I stated your age to explain that you have not got into the work environment yet. Neither have I. Neither of us know whether we are going to get bored. You cannot assume you will not get bored at jobs because majority of people will. I believe I probably will once I reached the highest point.

    It can happen to many people. They will try their hardest to keep both partner and career. Whether they can do or not, it's another story and depends on the person and the partner.

    And I have answered to your question, I would choose my partner. Just like my partner has chosen me.
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    (Original post by Cicerao)
    She had Alzheimers, couldn't remember who her family even were and died. So I think the chances of offending her are slim. :ninja:
    Oh poor her. I hope I don't have that when I get older. I am sorry to hear that.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Would you still give up all that for your perfect partner?

    How prepared are you to give up for "love"?
    No, I think having kids is the one thing I wouldn't be able to give up for any partner.
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    (Original post by street.lovin')
    Oh poor her. I hope I don't have that when I get older. I am sorry to hear that.
    Just to clarify, that was my nan, which is why she was in the nursing home. Not because nobody was bothered about her, just that when you get like that, you need special 24 hour care. If you have your own family and job, it's hard to provide that. And it's very heart-wrenching to see someone not recognise their own family. So that is probably why my father didn't visit. Not just because he was a git.
 
 
 
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