Is it normal to be turned off by lots of sex talk?

I made friends with a guy from work a few months ago. I think he fancies me, and has said several explicit things to me, in person, by text and online like (paraphrasing as best as I can):

"Can we **** please?"
"Send me a pic of your tits"
"You probably have a nice tight pussy"
"I really wanna lick you out"
"You have lovely boobs"
"I want to smash your front and back doors in"

And lots more. He does also call me beautiful sometimes, but I feel like that's overridden by all the other lewd comments he makes.

I liked him as a friend, but I can't fancy him when he keeps speaking to me like that. He's seems way too sex-mad for me, and I worry he doesn't see me as much more than a sex object. It's also overwhelming as he's the first guy to act that way towards me.

I don't need a guy to treat me like that, being all sex mad in order to get me to fancy him; just being a generally friendly and interesting person with plenty of decent conversation will do.

Is this unusual for me to feel like this? Am I possibly at all demisexual, have a low sex drive, or just prefer a personality and romance rather than just sex?

By the way, I'm a virgin as I just haven't found the right guy yet, and this guy certainly won't be it.

Yeah, I completely agree with the others here, that's really crossing a few lines. And you've never given him any hint as to you wanting this sort of thing?

This sort of talk can be great, I'm usually all for it, but this sort of thing is knocking on the door of sexual harassment and I'd seriously be considering a rather strongly worded reply to make sure this stops.

There is certainly nothing wrong with being a bit taken aback by that; in fact I'd be even more so.

Reply 21

TanyaZoexx

2

Original post by Anonymous

I made friends with a guy from work a few months ago. I think he fancies me, and has said several explicit things to me, in person, by text and online like (paraphrasing as best as I can):

"Can we **** please?"
"Send me a pic of your tits"
"You probably have a nice tight pussy"
"I really wanna lick you out"
"You have lovely boobs"
"I want to smash your front and back doors in"

And lots more. He does also call me beautiful sometimes, but I feel like that's overridden by all the other lewd comments he makes.

I liked him as a friend, but I can't fancy him when he keeps speaking to me like that. He's seems way too sex-mad for me, and I worry he doesn't see me as much more than a sex object. It's also overwhelming as he's the first guy to act that way towards me.

I don't need a guy to treat me like that, being all sex mad in order to get me to fancy him; just being a generally friendly and interesting person with plenty of decent conversation will do.

Is this unusual for me to feel like this? Am I possibly at all demisexual, have a low sex drive, or just prefer a personality and romance rather than just sex?

By the way, I'm a virgin as I just haven't found the right guy yet, and this guy certainly won't be it.

This is absolutely normal for you to be creeped out by this, he sounds very odd! I've been in the same situation as you, and the guy kept telling me that he wanted to 'tie me up and have sex with me in the back of my car.' I'm really not sure whether this was meant to be a turn-on or not, but I wanted to run for the hills! Eventually I just stopped replying to any of his messages, which might be a good idea for you if you don't mind cutting off contact altogether! I don't know what to suggest if you want to remain friends with him though, as you could speak to him and be like 'you're creeping me out' but that's likely to make things awkward! In my case, I thought maybe after 2 months of ignoring that he may have got the idea, so I replied to a message he sent, and he just continued telling me what he wanted to do, so now he's being ignored again! Good luck though!!

Reply 22

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Do you like him, do you guys flirt at all?

Your reaction is totally normal.

There's a guy I generally really like but occasionally he speaks to me like I'm a sex object and it really puts me off him.

Well, he was the one doing all the flirting really. I just tended to lap up the attention, because I hardly get any anyway. I've even kissed him a couple of times because I don't get kissed by anyone often, which might have been a bit wrong of me now, but oh well. I've decided not to see him again, but he's still contacting me occasionally which is bugging me a bit.

Glad I'm not the only one out off by being talked to like a sex object.

Original post by Hal.E.Lujah

That's not sex talk :lolwut:

What exactly would you describe it as? Sexual harassment or just being plain weird?

Original post by Multitalented me

Nah, 18 is deffo old enough for him to realise that he's going OTT.

OK. Any chance he might change, or is he likely to be like this all his life? I wouldn't want him to change just for me, as we've already started off on the wrong foot and don't feel like there's much going back, but at least for himself so he stands a chance of ever getting with a woman in future.

Reply 23

dgeorge

12

Original post by Anonymous

I made friends with a guy from work a few months ago. I think he fancies me, and has said several explicit things to me, in person, by text and online like (paraphrasing as best as I can):

"Can we **** please?"
"Send me a pic of your tits"
"You probably have a nice tight pussy"
"I really wanna lick you out"
"You have lovely boobs"
"I want to smash your front and back doors in"

And lots more. He does also call me beautiful sometimes, but I feel like that's overridden by all the other lewd comments he makes.

I liked him as a friend, but I can't fancy him when he keeps speaking to me like that. He's seems way too sex-mad for me, and I worry he doesn't see me as much more than a sex object. It's also overwhelming as he's the first guy to act that way towards me.

I don't need a guy to treat me like that, being all sex mad in order to get me to fancy him; just being a generally friendly and interesting person with plenty of decent conversation will do.

Is this unusual for me to feel like this? Am I possibly at all demisexual, have a low sex drive, or just prefer a personality and romance rather than just sex?

By the way, I'm a virgin as I just haven't found the right guy yet, and this guy certainly won't be it.

No offense OP, but you must be pretty confused if he's told you that he wants to "smash your front and back doors in" and you are STILL TALKING TO HIM

Reply 24

tehFrance

17

Original post by Anonymous

"Can we **** please?"
"Send me a pic of your tits"
"You probably have a nice tight pussy"
"I really wanna lick you out"
"You have lovely boobs"
"I want to smash your front and back doors in"

That is not sexual banter, that is sexual harassment, tell him to **** off.

Reply 25

Indo-Chinese Food

Original post by Anonymous

I made friends with a guy from work a few months ago. I think he fancies me, and has said several explicit things to me, in person, by text and online like (paraphrasing as best as I can):

"Can we **** please?"
"Send me a pic of your tits"
"You probably have a nice tight pussy"
"I really wanna lick you out"
"You have lovely boobs"
"I want to smash your front and back doors in"

And lots more. He does also call me beautiful sometimes, but I feel like that's overridden by all the other lewd comments he makes.

I liked him as a friend, but I can't fancy him when he keeps speaking to me like that. He's seems way too sex-mad for me, and I worry he doesn't see me as much more than a sex object. It's also overwhelming as he's the first guy to act that way towards me.

I don't need a guy to treat me like that, being all sex mad in order to get me to fancy him; just being a generally friendly and interesting person with plenty of decent conversation will do.

Is this unusual for me to feel like this? Am I possibly at all demisexual, have a low sex drive, or just prefer a personality and romance rather than just sex?

By the way, I'm a virgin as I just haven't found the right guy yet, and this guy certainly won't be it.

I dont think this is 'sex talk' more like sexual harassment - not quite sure why youd class this person a 'friend from work' he sounds like a sad t***er

Reply 26

greenforce

15

this guy sounds crazy.don't send him any pics-they gonna be viral online

Reply 27

Lizzie232

11

That's harassment. Sex talk is good, and if its done right its goooood but that is just harassing you.

Reply 28

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by dgeorge

No offense OP, but you must be pretty confused if he's told you that he wants to "smash your front and back doors in" and you are STILL TALKING TO HIM

I did stop talking to him for a number of weeks, but then he texted me again the other day telling me that he wants shag me soon so he isn't a virgin in 2013 :s-smilie:

. Even that seemed a bit disrespectful to me, so I replied that I'm not the right girl for him, and that he should find someone else. Then he replied that I'm missing out and he would have spoiled me loads, and I haven't bothered replying anything back to that.

Why can't I attract anyone decent? :frown:

Reply 29

Hal.E.Lujah

19

Original post by Anonymous

What exactly would you describe it as? Sexual harassment or just being plain weird?

Well, I think you have to be a bit weird to do sexual harassment, but that's what it is.

Reply 30

2ndClass

3

Be tasteful with that kind of talk, he sounds like a sex pest

Reply 31

lukas1051

18

That's not normal... gonna echo what everyone else is saying, cut off contact with the creep.

Reply 32

dgeorge

12

Original post by Anonymous

I did stop talking to him for a number of weeks, but then he texted me again the other day telling me that he wants shag me soon so he isn't a virgin in 2013 :s-smilie:

. Even that seemed a bit disrespectful to me, so I replied that I'm not the right girl for him, and that he should find someone else. Then he replied that I'm missing out and he would have spoiled me loads, and I haven't bothered replying anything back to that.

Why can't I attract anyone decent? :frown:

Simply text him back that you neither want, nor appreciate those kinds of text, that you are cutting off all contact with him, and that if continues texting or contacting you that you will consider it as harassment. If he does the stupid thing and DOES contact you again, explain to him that you will report him to the police. Although probably, he'll stop after the first one.

Honestly, continuing *ANY* type of conversation besides explaining not to contact you again, and that you will be reporting him to the police, will probably just egg him on

Reply 33

dgeorge

12

Original post by Anonymous

I did stop talking to him for a number of weeks, but then he texted me again the other day telling me that he wants shag me soon so he isn't a virgin in 2013 :s-smilie:

. Even that seemed a bit disrespectful to me, so I replied that I'm not the right girl for him, and that he should find someone else. Then he replied that I'm missing out and he would have spoiled me loads, and I haven't bothered replying anything back to that.

Why can't I attract anyone decent? :frown:

Now I've just read the rest of the thread, including this gem here:

I just tended to lap up the attention, because I hardly get any anyway. I've even kissed him a couple of times because I don't get kissed by anyone often, which might have been a bit wrong of me now, but oh well. I've decided not to see him again, but he's still contacting me occasionally which is bugging me a bit.

Now I NEVER condone any type of sexual harassment whatsoever. But honestly OP, you DID encourage it!

might have been a bit wrong of me

Ya think?

Reply 34

Ice Constricter

19

When I read the title of this thread I was expecting it to be about sex talk during sex if anyone knows what I mean not sexual harassment. OP its definitely normal to be put off by his behaviour.

Reply 35

snapper1

11

..."i wanna smash your front and back doors in"? This boy is clearly using Keith Lemon as his virgins guide to sex talk. Just ignore him like Fearne does!

Reply 36

Ice Constricter

19

Original post by TanyaZoexx

This is absolutely normal for you to be creeped out by this, he sounds very odd! I've been in the same situation as you, and the guy kept telling me that he wanted to 'tie me up and have sex with me in the back of my car.' I'm really not sure whether this was meant to be a turn-on or not, but I wanted to run for the hills! Eventually I just stopped replying to any of his messages, which might be a good idea for you if you don't mind cutting off contact altogether! I don't know what to suggest if you want to remain friends with him though, as you could speak to him and be like 'you're creeping me out' but that's likely to make things awkward! In my case, I thought maybe after 2 months of ignoring that he may have got the idea, so I replied to a message he sent, and he just continued telling me what he wanted to do, so now he's being ignored again! Good luck though!!

I seriously don't see how anyone could be naive enough to not see what they're doing isn't attracting the girl they want. So I think it's less about him not getting the message that you're not interested and more about him gaining some sadistic pleasure when he tells you about all the rapey things he wants to do to you. So seriously, just don't ever contact that lowlife ever again considering he's unlikely to stop and you don't know what he's capable of.