My Speech has nearly destroyed my entire life. :(
Hey everyone,
I have a speech impediment (Stammer), and it has effected me throughout my entire life. I think it's ruined my life.
Through primary, I was aware that I couldn't speak as normally as my classmates could, and someone imitated me (Which made me burst into tears), but luckily I had many good friends that comforted me and forced the other person to apologise etc.
I was meant to get speech therapy in year 4, but the person in charge of the process of hiring someone for me passed away. I come from a working class background, so my parents couldn't fund it hence we tried to get help from the school. Anyway, we all forgot about the therapy, until year 6, when my teacher asked me if I've considered taking therapy etc. She was arranging it but then I moved to Secondary school and forgot about the therapy. My secondary school was great, I made many friends etc, but of course there were also the typical bullies, and some banter etc.
I became more aware of my speech as the years went on, and the close friends I had sometimes imitated me (I would laugh with them, so they thought it was alright), but secretly it killed me inside. The worst was speaking and listening in English or any given subject.
It got so bad, that the words I would stammer on, I purposely didn't use those words, I would try and find a word to replace it with, which made me seem like I couldn't phrase sentences properly.
People would laugh at me during lesson when I was told to read something out loud, and I would pretend that I didn't care. My form tutor spoke to me in private and he said that I seem to be coping well, and he asked me if it bothered me (People laughing at me, or me being nervous etc), and I lied and said no. I knew that if I told him the truth, I would begin cryin and I didn't want that to happen.
Whenever we had homework to prepare a presentation, I would bunk the lesson and not get caught (I would lie saying I had an appointment or something). Whenever there was a speaking task during the lesson, I would pretend to feel ill, then I would leave. But then, I made the mistake of picking French as one of my GCSEs. There was a kind French teacher that said she would be teaching, but it turns out another teacher was teaching it. I tried to bunk every lesson, but I couldn't of course. Then I would get in trouble, and they didn't let me drop the subject. And so never revealed to anyone why I would bunk.
I have a speech impediment (Stammer), and it has effected me throughout my entire life. I think it's ruined my life.
Through primary, I was aware that I couldn't speak as normally as my classmates could, and someone imitated me (Which made me burst into tears), but luckily I had many good friends that comforted me and forced the other person to apologise etc.
I was meant to get speech therapy in year 4, but the person in charge of the process of hiring someone for me passed away. I come from a working class background, so my parents couldn't fund it hence we tried to get help from the school. Anyway, we all forgot about the therapy, until year 6, when my teacher asked me if I've considered taking therapy etc. She was arranging it but then I moved to Secondary school and forgot about the therapy. My secondary school was great, I made many friends etc, but of course there were also the typical bullies, and some banter etc.
I became more aware of my speech as the years went on, and the close friends I had sometimes imitated me (I would laugh with them, so they thought it was alright), but secretly it killed me inside. The worst was speaking and listening in English or any given subject.
It got so bad, that the words I would stammer on, I purposely didn't use those words, I would try and find a word to replace it with, which made me seem like I couldn't phrase sentences properly.
People would laugh at me during lesson when I was told to read something out loud, and I would pretend that I didn't care. My form tutor spoke to me in private and he said that I seem to be coping well, and he asked me if it bothered me (People laughing at me, or me being nervous etc), and I lied and said no. I knew that if I told him the truth, I would begin cryin and I didn't want that to happen.
Whenever we had homework to prepare a presentation, I would bunk the lesson and not get caught (I would lie saying I had an appointment or something). Whenever there was a speaking task during the lesson, I would pretend to feel ill, then I would leave. But then, I made the mistake of picking French as one of my GCSEs. There was a kind French teacher that said she would be teaching, but it turns out another teacher was teaching it. I tried to bunk every lesson, but I couldn't of course. Then I would get in trouble, and they didn't let me drop the subject. And so never revealed to anyone why I would bunk.
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I was terrified of being picked to answer a question.
Whenever I got picked, I would always say "Not sure", even if I knew the answers.
I'm 17 years old right now, and I've quit Sixth Form. I'm trying to self teach myself at the moment, and it's going fine.
The boiler wasn't working, so I called up the repair center for it, and as soon as the operator picked up and said hello, I couldn't say a word. I just hung up. This repeated 4 more times. I'm literally in tears, it's so pathetic.
When I'm around my close friends, I do not stammer a single bit. I've tried searching for some sort of cure, but there aren't any.
I'm just blowing off steam here, any advice is welcome :/
Whenever I got picked, I would always say "Not sure", even if I knew the answers.
I'm 17 years old right now, and I've quit Sixth Form. I'm trying to self teach myself at the moment, and it's going fine.
The boiler wasn't working, so I called up the repair center for it, and as soon as the operator picked up and said hello, I couldn't say a word. I just hung up. This repeated 4 more times. I'm literally in tears, it's so pathetic.
When I'm around my close friends, I do not stammer a single bit. I've tried searching for some sort of cure, but there aren't any.
I'm just blowing off steam here, any advice is welcome :/
I'm not sure I can really offer much comfort. But I will say is the best lecturer/seminar tutor I have ever had after 3 years at University had a pretty significant stammer and he was also one of the most intelligent and confident people I have ever come across. I know its hard to get yourself in to a similar mindset but try and work on your confidence and try not to be ashamed, there is literally nothing to lose by doing that.
I've got two different speech impediments, and have never tried therapy. I failed all of my French, Spanish and English speaking tasks at school, but wasn't particularly bothered because I knew I could never manage them anyway.
If you want to get rid of them, seek therapy. If not, don't worry about it! Most people don't really mind, unless you're giving a lecture.
If you want to get rid of them, seek therapy. If not, don't worry about it! Most people don't really mind, unless you're giving a lecture.
I have trouble going for interviews, speaking to strangers over the phone, even asking how much something costs inside the shops.
I can speak fluently when I'm by myself, and when I'm with close friends.
Results of this all:
Bunked school, truancy, became depressed, anti-social, victim of bullying, now I'm feeling isolated ever since I decided to drop out of Sixth Form. I don't know where to get speech therapy help from for free, and it isn't definite that it would help.
I can speak fluently when I'm by myself, and when I'm with close friends.
Results of this all:
Bunked school, truancy, became depressed, anti-social, victim of bullying, now I'm feeling isolated ever since I decided to drop out of Sixth Form. I don't know where to get speech therapy help from for free, and it isn't definite that it would help.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey everyone,
I have a speech impediment (Stammer), and it has effected me throughout my entire life. I think it's ruined my life.
Through primary, I was aware that I couldn't speak as normally as my classmates could, and someone imitated me (Which made me burst into tears), but luckily I had many good friends that comforted me and forced the other person to apologise etc.
I was meant to get speech therapy in year 4, but the person in charge of the process of hiring someone for me passed away. I come from a working class background, so my parents couldn't fund it hence we tried to get help from the school. Anyway, we all forgot about the therapy, until year 6, when my teacher asked me if I've considered taking therapy etc. She was arranging it but then I moved to Secondary school and forgot about the therapy. My secondary school was great, I made many friends etc, but of course there were also the typical bullies, and some banter etc.
I became more aware of my speech as the years went on, and the close friends I had sometimes imitated me (I would laugh with them, so they thought it was alright), but secretly it killed me inside. The worst was speaking and listening in English or any given subject.
It got so bad, that the words I would stammer on, I purposely didn't use those words, I would try and find a word to replace it with, which made me seem like I couldn't phrase sentences properly.
People would laugh at me during lesson when I was told to read something out loud, and I would pretend that I didn't care. My form tutor spoke to me in private and he said that I seem to be coping well, and he asked me if it bothered me (People laughing at me, or me being nervous etc), and I lied and said no. I knew that if I told him the truth, I would begin cryin and I didn't want that to happen.
Whenever we had homework to prepare a presentation, I would bunk the lesson and not get caught (I would lie saying I had an appointment or something). Whenever there was a speaking task during the lesson, I would pretend to feel ill, then I would leave. But then, I made the mistake of picking French as one of my GCSEs. There was a kind French teacher that said she would be teaching, but it turns out another teacher was teaching it. I tried to bunk every lesson, but I couldn't of course. Then I would get in trouble, and they didn't let me drop the subject. And so never revealed to anyone why I would bunk.
I have a speech impediment (Stammer), and it has effected me throughout my entire life. I think it's ruined my life.
Through primary, I was aware that I couldn't speak as normally as my classmates could, and someone imitated me (Which made me burst into tears), but luckily I had many good friends that comforted me and forced the other person to apologise etc.
I was meant to get speech therapy in year 4, but the person in charge of the process of hiring someone for me passed away. I come from a working class background, so my parents couldn't fund it hence we tried to get help from the school. Anyway, we all forgot about the therapy, until year 6, when my teacher asked me if I've considered taking therapy etc. She was arranging it but then I moved to Secondary school and forgot about the therapy. My secondary school was great, I made many friends etc, but of course there were also the typical bullies, and some banter etc.
I became more aware of my speech as the years went on, and the close friends I had sometimes imitated me (I would laugh with them, so they thought it was alright), but secretly it killed me inside. The worst was speaking and listening in English or any given subject.
It got so bad, that the words I would stammer on, I purposely didn't use those words, I would try and find a word to replace it with, which made me seem like I couldn't phrase sentences properly.
People would laugh at me during lesson when I was told to read something out loud, and I would pretend that I didn't care. My form tutor spoke to me in private and he said that I seem to be coping well, and he asked me if it bothered me (People laughing at me, or me being nervous etc), and I lied and said no. I knew that if I told him the truth, I would begin cryin and I didn't want that to happen.
Whenever we had homework to prepare a presentation, I would bunk the lesson and not get caught (I would lie saying I had an appointment or something). Whenever there was a speaking task during the lesson, I would pretend to feel ill, then I would leave. But then, I made the mistake of picking French as one of my GCSEs. There was a kind French teacher that said she would be teaching, but it turns out another teacher was teaching it. I tried to bunk every lesson, but I couldn't of course. Then I would get in trouble, and they didn't let me drop the subject. And so never revealed to anyone why I would bunk.
I can totally and utterly empathise with you since I too have a stammer. There are many words I can't say without stammering which I have to find alternatives for, and there are also words I can't say without stammering where alternatives just aren't an option such as my last name or where I live. It honestly is a daily struggle and people just don't know how fortunate they are to be able to speak clearly and concisely.
I've been through all the bad experiences like yourself such as being picked to read in class and stammering my way through it, skipping classes when I knew I had to present a PowerPoint in-front of the class, being the butt of many jokes, etc. It really does kill your confidence, especially when you're still in your teenage years.
I'm 21 now however and the people I cross paths with are obviously a lot more understanding, I still get embarrassed when I stammer however... I shouldn't, because we can't help it, but I do.
I have to give a PowerPoint presentation in the next few weeks as it happens actually, I'm absolutely dreading it, I know I'll stammer but it's gotta happen so what the hell.
Perhaps seek some professional help?
Its nothing wrong with it - it will help you build your confidence and deliver your words more confidently. If you feel your stammer is really causing you problems, go see you GP and they can refer you.
Its nothing wrong with it - it will help you build your confidence and deliver your words more confidently. If you feel your stammer is really causing you problems, go see you GP and they can refer you.
I can emphathise with you because I also have a stammer though it's getting better.
I was also laughed at etc but I just ignored them and continued to read despite me stuttering.
PM me for a chat if you want
I was also laughed at etc but I just ignored them and continued to read despite me stuttering.
PM me for a chat if you want
I also have massive social anxiety because of my stammer. It really has been a pain for me. (I'm 18 now)
It's the number one reason why I don't go job hunting
(And I really need the money at uni 
)
It's the number one reason why I don't go job hunting
(And I really need the money at uni )Original post by Darkphilosopher
I also have massive social anxiety because of my stammer. It really has been a pain for me. (I'm 18 now)
It's the number one reason why I don't go job hunting (And I really need the money at uni )
It's the number one reason why I don't go job hunting
(And I really need the money at uni )Does speaking slow help at all? Any therapy appointments?
I know it can be hard, sometimes I stutter at work too but no one seems to matter much.
Original post by Anonymous
I have trouble going for interviews, speaking to strangers over the phone, even asking how much something costs inside the shops.
I can speak fluently when I'm by myself, and when I'm with close friends.
Results of this all:
Bunked school, truancy, became depressed, anti-social, victim of bullying, now I'm feeling isolated ever since I decided to drop out of Sixth Form. I don't know where to get speech therapy help from for free, and it isn't definite that it would help.
I can speak fluently when I'm by myself, and when I'm with close friends.
Results of this all:
Bunked school, truancy, became depressed, anti-social, victim of bullying, now I'm feeling isolated ever since I decided to drop out of Sixth Form. I don't know where to get speech therapy help from for free, and it isn't definite that it would help.
I have a stammer too. It is very hard as you have mentioned. Even the seminars / presentations at University I am dreading even if they are months away.
There are several courses including the Maguire Programme / Starfish project which I recommend.
I've had one in the past but i was able to deal with it myself mostly by literally shutting my mouth (with my hands) and trying to read a hard book out loud it was so silly but the long term effects are obviously worth it, I did this so I could imitate the feeling of tightness i previously had when trying to talk in public
When I did have it I was in yr 9 obviously I wasn't happy about it but decided I would still try and make the best of life irregardless of anything
Some helpful tips I used are :
If you can't said a word think of an alternative fast you will 100% say it with no problems
For reading in class read aloud at home all the time I used to hate reading in class but slowly I was able to do it in public now i'm completely cool with it
When in class and the teacher asks a question and you know you know the answer without hesitation just say it, you'll be surprised at how smoothly your answer will come out
Straight after someone has said something if you immediately talk you'll stammer less therefore you get your point across and you can participate in the convo
I phoned child and would speak abgout the first thing in my mind ie. Football speak slowly and don't forget to take deep breaths I think it worked so well because I wasn't under any pressure at all
If your searching for something whilst out ie. Raisins and you know you can't said the word type it on your phone and then show it to the shop assistant or whatever
When you do stutter think to yourself "this really isn't that bad" it weakens the stutter in a sense and you notice it less
Speaking and Listening killed me the first time i tried it I was effectively slaughtered i got my words out but I couldn't stop shaking. In situations like this pretend your an actor over exaggerate your words and speak loudly and clearly,you'll have your work in front of you so it will help. I did that and I was ok in my next speaking and listening tasks
The most important tip is to smile, some days will be very bad and you'll feel like laying in bed all day but when you smile you think of happier memories and the world doesn't look that bad
It took me a year to get rid of it, it was extremely tough but what helped me was the fact that I was a stubborn extrovert that didn't wish to give up talking
I put one in bold because thats the most useful if you don't talk in a convo people think your weird and then shun you at least with the above technique your participating
feel free to ask questions
When I did have it I was in yr 9 obviously I wasn't happy about it but decided I would still try and make the best of life irregardless of anything
Some helpful tips I used are :
If you can't said a word think of an alternative fast you will 100% say it with no problems
For reading in class read aloud at home all the time I used to hate reading in class but slowly I was able to do it in public now i'm completely cool with it
When in class and the teacher asks a question and you know you know the answer without hesitation just say it, you'll be surprised at how smoothly your answer will come out
Straight after someone has said something if you immediately talk you'll stammer less therefore you get your point across and you can participate in the convo
I phoned child and would speak abgout the first thing in my mind ie. Football speak slowly and don't forget to take deep breaths I think it worked so well because I wasn't under any pressure at all
If your searching for something whilst out ie. Raisins and you know you can't said the word type it on your phone and then show it to the shop assistant or whatever
When you do stutter think to yourself "this really isn't that bad" it weakens the stutter in a sense and you notice it less
Speaking and Listening killed me the first time i tried it I was effectively slaughtered i got my words out but I couldn't stop shaking. In situations like this pretend your an actor over exaggerate your words and speak loudly and clearly,you'll have your work in front of you so it will help. I did that and I was ok in my next speaking and listening tasks
The most important tip is to smile, some days will be very bad and you'll feel like laying in bed all day but when you smile you think of happier memories and the world doesn't look that bad
It took me a year to get rid of it, it was extremely tough but what helped me was the fact that I was a stubborn extrovert that didn't wish to give up talking
I put one in bold because thats the most useful if you don't talk in a convo people think your weird and then shun you at least with the above technique your participating
feel free to ask questions
I've had a stammer for the past 5 years. I don't know if it's like that for you, but I only ever trip up on the beginning of sentences and then only with certain sounds (Ws and Ts in particular). I've learnt to circumvent this issue pretty effectively by paraphrasing what I'm planning to say using words that I know I can pronounce without issues. This sometimes results in overcomplicated sentences which sound a bit silly but it's better than stammering. Also, I find that I talk very fast normally and consciously slowing down and working on breathing also helps.
I have it myself and its like a curses, I just got told off at work just for not saying something properly. My speech disorder is so bad that I can't speak my own language. I feel like an outcast.
I know how you feel !
I had the exact same problem infact i couldn't even speak till i was 6 years old.Luckily for me the problem started disappearing once i got older ,but it does happen every now and then.It used to hurt me alot especially when people you talk to just stare at you for 2 minutes and they don't try to help you with building the sentence.I have uni presentation in few weeks and i'm actually dreading it i can speak completely normal with closed ones and even strangers but sometimes when i am under pressure i just blank out .Some words just cant be pronounced and its very tough .What got me through it was my family and friends support .Although i havent openly spoken to anyone about it since 6 years.I know its a big issue but my best advice is try and overcome it ,don't make it bigger and don't pay alot of attention because it will get worse.If you still can't handle it then therapy would be your best option.
Also whoever laughs or makes strange expression when you speak to them remember no is perfect and show them it doesn't bother you at all.
I had the exact same problem infact i couldn't even speak till i was 6 years old.Luckily for me the problem started disappearing once i got older ,but it does happen every now and then.It used to hurt me alot especially when people you talk to just stare at you for 2 minutes and they don't try to help you with building the sentence.I have uni presentation in few weeks and i'm actually dreading it
i can speak completely normal with closed ones and even strangers but sometimes when i am under pressure i just blank out .Some words just cant be pronounced and its very tough .What got me through it was my family and friends support .Although i havent openly spoken to anyone about it since 6 years.I know its a big issue but my best advice is try and overcome it ,don't make it bigger and don't pay alot of attention because it will get worse.If you still can't handle it then therapy would be your best option.Also whoever laughs or makes strange expression when you speak to them remember no is perfect and show them it doesn't bother you at all.
Once more, i've also had a stutter and have struggled with speech throughout my life. However, over time my confidence has dramatically improved, whilst people ackowledge that i stutter, no-one worth the time has openly bullied me for it, and i find it helps to take part in the banter it causes, often at my expense. This seems to make them realise that it doesn't make me any difference and it is something i cannot massively control, ultimately, however simple (or stupid it sounds i've found the best way to deal with it is to laugh it off, smile, and get through it!
Original post by This Honest
Does speaking slow help at all? Any therapy appointments?
I know it can be hard, sometimes I stutter at work too but no one seems to matter much.
I know it can be hard, sometimes I stutter at work too but no one seems to matter much.
Unfortunately it doesn't. I've gone through several weeks of therapy and whilst it did help initially, things quickly went back to how they were. (Probably a psychological effect)
Original post by Anonymous
I've got two different speech impediments, and have never tried therapy. I failed all of my French, Spanish and English speaking tasks at school, but wasn't particularly bothered because I knew I could never manage them anyway.
If you want to get rid of them, seek therapy. If not, don't worry about it! Most people don't really mind, unless you're giving a lecture.
If you want to get rid of them, seek therapy. If not, don't worry about it! Most people don't really mind, unless you're giving a lecture.
You do know speech therapy doesn't get rid of a stammer right? They just attempt to teach you techniques to lessen the effects of a stammer/stutter. Many people dont even find speech therapy useful.
Anyway OP, I know exactly how you feel, I stutter myself. Many non stutters take for granted having the ability to physically say what you want (some words are more likely to cause stammering), how you want (you may have to talk faster/slower to avoid stammering), when you want (you may have a speech block in the middle of a conversation which makes you look like a moron standing there with your mouth open not saying anything).
My stammer is one of the reasons I hate asking for directions. If only there was a magic pill...
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