I con't stop starring at him

Hi,

There a guy in my classes that I always find myself starring at him. I can't stop it. One time he looked back and found me starring at him and we kind of made an intense eye contact. Almost all the time when we catch each other starring we make intense eye contact. I really don't want him to think I'm creepy or anything. And I can't just go to him and start a conversation. I'm really shy. One of the reasons I stare at him though because he looks a lot like my best friend. Also, he dresses very nicely. I like how he focus on the smallest details and match the color of his jacket or sweater with his hair. We are both attractive and If I was gay he would be my type.

Couple of days ago I was setting in the bus in the upper floor. I noticed he was outside but than he saw me and looked directly into my eyes for a long time. Now I'm creeped out. I worried that I might made him feel the same way when I usually stare at him.

We are both international students by the way, non of us really made any close friends so far.

What would you do if you were in his position? Would you think my starring is creepy?

By the way, I apologize If there are mistakes in my english. I'm still learning.

Reply 1

Lotus_Eater

7

If you don't fancy him (since you say you're not gay and I therefore presume you're a bloke) then it might be a good idea to stop looking at him! Assuming you're writing from the UK, the convention here is you only stare if you're deeply attracted or deeply repulsed by someone and one way or another are inviting some sort of confrontation by doing it. If you're interested in neither of these things then stop looking.

Alternatively, start looking in the mirror and really contemplate whether the person staring back is gay. Sounds like he could be at least curious!

Btw, your English is fine.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Lotus_Eater

If you don't fancy him (since you say you're not gay and I therefore presume you're a bloke) then it might be a good idea to stop looking at him! Assuming you're writing from the UK, the convention here is you only stare if you're deeply attracted or deeply repulsed by someone and one way or another are inviting some sort of confrontation by doing it. If you're interested in neither of these things then stop looking.

Alternatively, start looking in the mirror and really contemplate whether the person staring back is gay. Sounds like he could be at least curious!

Btw, your English is fine.

Do you think his starring back might be a defense mechanism? If it's that than I'll differently avoid him. But if it was some sort of an invitation, than I will go and start a conversation to end the awkwardness since we're already doing the same course and go to the same classes and tutorials. How would you tell the difference if it was like a defense mechanism or an invitation?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Do you think his starring back might be a defense mechanism? If it's that than I'll differently avoid him. But if it was some sort of an invitation, than I will go and start a conversation to end the awkwardness since we're already doing the same course and go to the same classes and tutorials. How would you tell the difference if it was like a defense mechanism or an invitation?

definitely*

Reply 4

Lotus_Eater

7

Original post by Anonymous

Do you think his starring back might be a defense mechanism? If it's that than I'll differently avoid him. But if it was some sort of an invitation, than I will go and start a conversation to end the awkwardness since we're already doing the same course and go to the same classes and tutorials. How would you tell the difference if it was like a defense mechanism or an invitation?

Maybe a defence mechanism. Very hard to tell for certain. I'm sure starting a conversation will give you a clear idea of his intentions though if you get negative signs I'd say back off pretty quickly!