Am I on the verge of depression? Please help me out.

Hi my gf dumped me in Jan after 3 months together (I know, not long) and her reasons were that its a commitment issue. We agreed to being friends and things weren't too bad between us afterwards. We would still talk nearly everyday as we are at uni together on the same course.

Recently, we started easter holidays and before that we had plans to go out for dinners, work together and all but since the start of holidays she has turned completely cold. She ignores my messages to her and if/when she replies they are very short responses. I am so lost as to why her behaviour has changed so drastically especially when we had no problems between us.

I cannot bear this and I know I need to let go of my feelings but how? I have been advised to take up new activities, go gym, and I have tried it all for 4 months now but it is not working. This breakup period has now lasted longer than my relationship with her and still I love her to pieces

Is there anything I can do to diffuse the situation and to make myself feel better? Thanks.

You're going through the stages of grief, how long it takes depends on the person, now based on your situation it's imposible to cute all contact, but refrain from talking to her unless she initiates the conversation, activities are a good way to go just don't let it consume you, just find something you really care about, took me a year to find a activity which i properly care about (other than guitar of course)

Do what you need to do get over her, you were clearly deeply in love with this girl (i can sympothise there) everyone deals with this in a different way, for me writing passionate letters or just talking to my female friends helped a lot, you just need to find your motivation, just remember to enjoy your life, trust me wallowing in self pity isn't the best thing to do

I have tried socialising so much over these holidays but everytime her thoughts come up. I cannot get over the fact that she found it so easy to cut it all off.

And when I do see her around, how should I behave with her? Thanks for taking the time to help me out.

Act as normal as you can (which i know can be hard) and you have to push through those feelings and the only way you can do that is by having fun, one you start having fun on you own you'll soon forget her (even though you may not want to) join a new society or sports club at uni, best way to meet new people, also if like me when you think about her you feel sad DO NOT DRINK! drinking will only make things worse, never drown your sorrows it will only lead to more pain, i know this from personal expireance

thanks for the advice bro - I don't drink anyway so thats not an issue. I am kind of glad in some ways that I found out that she's f***ing someone so casually because I feel I shouldn't have been with this girl. But then again she was my first gf and its a big pill to swallow My only issue is that I will be with her for another 2 years at uni and it won't be easy for me thats for sure. All of our friends at uni are mutual and we are doing exactly the same course.

I feel so emasculated and helpless right now and I don't even know what people can tell me differently today but I guess thats what I get for liking this girl.

i've never had a gf, but i was rejected by a girl i feel in love with, let me tell you ... it was tough as hell, i had quite bad depression last year (my uni work suffered badly cos of it) you can and will get through it, you can do small things like not sit near her in labs or lectures and as for the mutual friends, make some new ones so that you arn't constantly being reminded of her, sometimes in life you have to be a little selfish

the road ahead will be tough, don't give up

I have exams in two weeks and I have had no work done. I can't even talk to my family about it as it was a hidden relationship and I don't want to get on antidepressants or anything stupid like that.

as I said she was my first gf and Im not someone who gets girls easily! maybe thats why it hurts so much. if you don't mind me asking are you completely 'over' this girl that you liked?

No i'm not completely over her, she was my first love and you never properly get over your first love, however i've accepted the fact and am slowly begging to move on, trust me i know how you feel i don't get over girls that quickly either (prob due to getting no real female attention before uni so)

if you don't mind me asking are you still in contact with her? I mean it must hurt you being able to smell the fruit but not eat it… its exactly how I am now. except i had history with this girl.

the one thing i don't understand is that is she trying to make me jealous by telling me about this other guy? if yes, why is that and how should I react?

Yes i'm still in contact with her, meeting her in a couple of weeks actually, and ofc course it hurts not saying it doesn't, as we go to different unis the distance helped greatly, and if she is making her jealous the best thing you can do is no show any reaction at all, yes in your mind you may have killed this guy 20 times over, but she might be doing it to get a reaction out of you

ah yes it definitely does help you are at different uni's! so do you think that she may actually making it all up just to see my response? Given the girl she is, I wouldn't put it past her but I took it lightly when she told me and just joked about it and the convo ended as she had to go.

I am planning to not contact her until we meet at uni next week and even then probably just going to stay away from her as much as I can.

I can't really tell you about the jealousy thing, i'm not too good with jealously myself (i'm quite a jealous person so)

Wow major I know that feel bro

Cut contact. Now.
Remember who YOU are and were before this girl
who do you want to be?
What do YOU love?

Do stuff. Get out. Music, read, paint, write.
, draw. Anything constructive. It will counter the feeling of destruction you can feel.
Let it out but don't wallow.
I would second the gym, along with any goal you can set to empower you, as it sounds like you feel like she's taking some of your personal power

Tbh if you're going to play 'friends' but can't hear her talk about other guys, you're not really friends. Hard as it is you nust let her GO. You can't control her feelings or actions, only yours.

Give it time. Be gentle with yourself.
Tsr is here for you :-)