This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Boyfriend left to go on holiday for 2 weeks last night. Didn't even say bye.

it probably just didn't figure in his mind... a quick 15 min call to say very little probably just didn't feel very important and so it didn't seem to matter that he didn't feel like he got chance, it's not just about the time sometimes you can just feel busy and rushed off your feet and so you don't want to be dealing with other stuff you just want to sit down and chill out

Reply 61

LolaLowe

11

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm, let's see, if you hadn't heard from your (normally very communicative) partner practically all week and then you specifically asked him to let you know he got there safely and he still didn't even do that...? Surely you wouldn't think everything was normal? It's not like I'm asking for an hour phone conversation I just wanted ONE MESSAGE. Why is everyone else making out I'm some clingy Weirdo. If it was the other way round all the guys would be saying how the girl isn't interested and she's a slut etc... Yet when it's the guy who's not texting back im supposed to just sit here like a good little girlfriend and not question it.

I dont think you are a clingy weirdo! :smile:

I dont think anyone is implying that you are supposed to sit like a good girlfriend and not question it. Only you know whats normal on the communication front in the context of your relationship, so if this is a major departure from that then I guess you will want to talk to him about it when he gets home. Remember that by creating a thread about the subject you invited opinions and so you may choose to bear in mind that a lot of people are saying that actually, this isnt so inexplicable to them.

My advice is relax. Otherwise after two weeks you will have built this into a massive deal in your head and be raging about it, and he will be obliviously chilled out and relaxed after two weeks of hollies, and thats a dangerous combination! If he does not contact you for the entire duration then I think you'll be able to read into that without our advice, but my guess is that he will call/text when he can.

Reply 62

Sheena1

4

Original post by Opts

Yes all women

haha cheeky :wink:

OP i got some bad news for you...

Reply 63

katiiiiie

13

I really don't see why people are making such a big deal out of this saying you are clingy? I can understand where you're coming from, I would of expected a bye too. OP I wouldn't worry too much about it, just see what happens, talk to him properly when he comes back.

Reply 64

Drunk Punx

19

Original post by joker12345

Hardly difficult to make a 2 minute call saying 'bye, I'll miss you' - in fact, you could do that whilst packing.

There's no such thing as a 2 minute phonecall with someone who seems as needy as OP. If it was a literal 2 minute phonecall she'd be complaining that the call should've been longer. Can't win.
He didn't say goodbye. That sucks. But what's done is done.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 65

Holby_fanatic

16

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm, let's see, if you hadn't heard from your (normally very communicative) partner practically all week and then you specifically asked him to let you know he got there safely and he still didn't even do that...? Surely you wouldn't think everything was normal? It's not like I'm asking for an hour phone conversation I just wanted ONE MESSAGE. Why is everyone else making out I'm some clingy Weirdo. If it was the other way round all the guys would be saying how the girl isn't interested and she's a slut etc... Yet when it's the guy who's not texting back im supposed to just sit here like a good little girlfriend and not question it.

Hmmm, let's see... My boyfriend and I have probably said 3 things to each other in the last three days when usually conversation is fine. He doesn't say bye when he goes on holiday or, and I'm not saying you ask for this, but he doesn't send me a message on a night out to let me know he's 'thinking of me' and yet we're both fine and not separated over one message. You're just massively overreacting. He wants to enjoy his holiday with his family and if I was in that situation I probably wouldn't send a message to my boyfriend either. It's two weeks that he's away so stop talking as if it's forever. Chances are he probably just doesn't have the wifi you didn't even know if he was going to have.

Oh, and I'm in a long distance relationship too so don't say that I get to see my boyfriend loads and thus will think differently or whatever because I don't.

Reply 66

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Drunk Punx

There's no such thing as a 2 minute phonecall with someone who seems as needy as OP. If it was a literal 2 minute phonecall she'd be complaining that the call should've been longer. Can't win.
He didn't say goodbye. That sucks. But what's done is done.

Sorry, do you know me? Where have I indicated I was clingy? I'm actually very laid back. If your girlfriend said they would ring you before they left, having not spoken for almost a whole week and then didn't. Then still didn't send a message when they got there.. Would you not think it a bit weird? Maybe I'm unusual but when I do something cool or fun my boyfriend is one of the first people I like to tell because he is important to me. I don't care if he wants to enjoy his holiday or whatever, I don't need constant contact. All I wanted was a quick text to check he got there Ok!

Original post by Holby_fanatic

Hmmm, let's see... My boyfriend and I have probably said 3 things to each other in the last three days when usually conversation is fine. He doesn't say bye when he goes on holiday or, and I'm not saying you ask for this, but he doesn't send me a message on a night out to let me know he's 'thinking of me' and yet we're both fine and not separated over one message. You're just massively overreacting. He wants to enjoy his holiday with his family and if I was in that situation I probably wouldn't send a message to my boyfriend either. It's two weeks that he's away so stop talking as if it's forever. Chances are he probably just doesn't have the wifi you didn't even know if he was going to have.

Oh, and I'm in a long distance relationship too so don't say that I get to see my boyfriend loads and thus will think differently or whatever because I don't.

No offence but your relationship seems very cold and distant? I like to keep in contact with my boyfriend, we talk on the phone usually every 3 or 4 days and maybe exchange a few texts on the day we don't. If your boyfriend isn't even sending you one text over a few days then what does that say... It sounds to me like he's not even thinking about you. That's just my opinion, I believe relationships need good communication and for the other to feel part of their life.

Reply 67

Holby_fanatic

16

Original post by Anonymous

No offence but your relationship seems very cold and distant? I like to keep in contact with my boyfriend, we talk on the phone usually every 3 or 4 days and maybe exchange a few texts on the day we don't. If your boyfriend isn't even sending you one text over a few days then what does that say... It sounds to me like he's not even thinking about you. That's just my opinion, I believe relationships need good communication and for the other to feel part of their life.

It says he has better things to do like badminton, drinking, and playing Fifa with his friends, none of which I have an interest in. It says that my days are filled with Chemistry revision, something he has no interest in. We do talk, but I'm not going to freak out if we don't exchange messages for a couple of days. I don't expect him to be glued to his phone and I hope he doesn't expect that from me.

Reply 68

Drunk Punx

19

Original post by Anonymous

Sorry, do you know me? Where have I indicated I was clingy? I'm actually very laid back. If your girlfriend said they would ring you before they left, having not spoken for almost a whole week and then didn't. Then still didn't send a message when they got there.. Would you not think it a bit weird? Maybe I'm unusual but when I do something cool or fun my boyfriend is one of the first people I like to tell because he is important to me. I don't care if he wants to enjoy his holiday or whatever, I don't need constant contact. All I wanted was a quick text to check he got there Ok!

"I now don't know when I'm next going to hear from him because I don't know if he will ever have wifi in the hotel. I don't get it. It's like he doesn't care that we won't really speak for 2 weeks, the last few days I've hardly heard from him and although he keeps promising to ring he never does. I know he's been busy but still I think he could find a few minutes to message me.

I'm so confused and anxious about it. I don't like to think I won't know what's going on for another 2 weeks".

Sounds kinda clingy tbh. Hardly OTT, but you're freaking out about having no contact with him for 2 weeks (I say "you're freaking out" because you wouldn't have bothered to make a thread about it if you were only slightly miffed with it).

It's cool that he's the first person you talk to when you do something, it sounds like there's good communication going on in the relationship (from your end, at least).

Either way, first you were saying that he didn't say goodbye and now you're saying that he didn't contact you when he got there. Sounds clingy. Not that that's a bad thing, personally I like clingy. But it is clingy.

Reply 69

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Holby_fanatic

It says he has better things to do like badminton, drinking, and playing Fifa with his friends, none of which I have an interest in. It says that my days are filled with Chemistry revision, something he has no interest in. We do talk, but I'm not going to freak out if we don't exchange messages for a couple of days. I don't expect him to be glued to his phone and I hope he doesn't expect that from me.

How long have you been together? If that's always been the dynamic then that's just what your relationship is like. I'd expect it to become more like that the longer you've been together and the longer you've been in an LDR. Me and my boyfriend haven't been together that long (under a year) and are still getting used to the distance, plus he usually texts quite a lot (even if it's just a 'hello good morning, what are you up to?' sort of message). It doesn't mean being glued to your phone. You're going from one extreme to the other here: It's not either hardly speak or be clingy.. There is a happy medium you know.

My main issue was with the way he was leading up to going away and how he hasn't contacted me at all since arriving almost 2 days ago. I'm more worried than annoyed or suspicious tbh. It's out of character basically and it puts me on edge not knowing what's going on. If that makes me clingy then I guess I'm clingy.. But trust me, I've met clingy people and they're a whole different ball game.

Reply 70

joker12345

19

Original post by Drunk Punx

There's no such thing as a 2 minute phonecall with someone who seems as needy as OP. If it was a literal 2 minute phonecall she'd be complaining that the call should've been longer. Can't win.
He didn't say goodbye. That sucks. But what's done is done.

She doesn't really sound that needy, she's said herself she wasn't expecting him to talk on their holiday and that they haven't spoken much recently. Maybe, but maybe she'd have appreciated it. It's the thought - if it were me I'd appreciate he tried and tell him to go enjoy, but be upset if he didn't say goodbye at all.

Reply 71

jrherrera

4

OK feel a little bad for my original comment because you've redeemed yourself a bit OP. You're not as clingy as you came across, but yeah I feel like this might not be good news.. It's not so much about the fact he should have been in contact because he's your bf, or should have been in contact to be courteous even, but he should have called to say bye because he *wanted* to! Which could be a worrying sign about your relationship and how much he thinks about you.Having said that, if you are long distance already, his mindset might just be a little different atm; if he doesn't see you for a couple weeks anyway, he might just view this as a similar situation. To him, it's not such a big deal; he's used to not being in contact with you lots. I don't know though, it doesn't seem like a great situation. When he's in the UK are you calling each other/ texting lots? If you are then this seems odd, but if not then maybe he doesn't view it as all that much of a big deal.Still, I would want my gf to call and say bye and maybe drop me an email if she was away.

Reply 72

Holby_fanatic

16

Original post by Anonymous

How long have you been together? If that's always been the dynamic then that's just what your relationship is like. I'd expect it to become more like that the longer you've been together and the longer you've been in an LDR. Me and my boyfriend haven't been together that long (under a year) and are still getting used to the distance, plus he usually texts quite a lot (even if it's just a 'hello good morning, what are you up to?' sort of message). It doesn't mean being glued to your phone. You're going from one extreme to the other here: It's not either hardly speak or be clingy.. There is a happy medium you know.

My main issue was with the way he was leading up to going away and how he hasn't contacted me at all since arriving almost 2 days ago. I'm more worried than annoyed or suspicious tbh. It's out of character basically and it puts me on edge not knowing what's going on. If that makes me clingy then I guess I'm clingy.. But trust me, I've met clingy people and they're a whole different ball game.

We've been together for a year and long distance the entire time. It is unusual for us not to talk when we're both where we are and not on holiday but I guess we were both just busy those three days.

Anyway, I guess only you know your relationship fully. I hope it all gets sorted out for you soon!

Reply 73

Ash_xxx

It depends on the kind of relationship you guys have. I mean... If you know he genuinely cares... Then let it slide because he was probably really busy packing and stuff. As far as the 2 weeks go.. Just hang out with your friends some more! Have sleepover etc and keep yourself busy if you have such a hard time keeping yourself away from him and then you'll find out that you're not going crazy thinking about the fact you don't know what's going on. However if you know he's a person who's been dismissive towards you for quite some time...then this is just another feather in his cap. And then you need to ask yourself if you want to be with someone who is dismissive of you.
But just a bit of advice...let him breathe because he may end up getting frustrated because from what you've said about not being able to 'know what he's up to' .... That can get annoying for a guy. And also.. A little bit of distance is healthy. It makes you appreciate the person more xx

Reply 74

lizlaz350

16

Original post by Holby_fanatic

Hmmm, let's see... My boyfriend and I have probably said 3 things to each other in the last three days when usually conversation is fine. He doesn't say bye when he goes on holiday or, and I'm not saying you ask for this, but he doesn't send me a message on a night out to let me know he's 'thinking of me' and yet we're both fine and not separated over one message. You're just massively overreacting. He wants to enjoy his holiday with his family and if I was in that situation I probably wouldn't send a message to my boyfriend either. It's two weeks that he's away so stop talking as if it's forever. Chances are he probably just doesn't have the wifi you didn't even know if he was going to have.

Oh, and I'm in a long distance relationship too so don't say that I get to see my boyfriend loads and thus will think differently or whatever because I don't.

I don't think you're being fair. Everyone has different standards of communication in their relationship. If you're in the sort of relationship where you're happy not to talk to each other that regularly, that's one thing, but it's perfectly normal to talk to your partner every day or at least fairly frequently and if that's the sort of relationship they have and suddenly he goes distant, it would suggest something is wrong. If I knew I was going on holiday and wouldn't be talking to my boyfriend for a while, I would definitely take 10 seconds out send him a text before I left.

Original post by Anonymous

How long have you been together? If that's always been the dynamic then that's just what your relationship is like. I'd expect it to become more like that the longer you've been together and the longer you've been in an LDR. Me and my boyfriend haven't been together that long (under a year) and are still getting used to the distance, plus he usually texts quite a lot (even if it's just a 'hello good morning, what are you up to?' sort of message). It doesn't mean being glued to your phone. You're going from one extreme to the other here: It's not either hardly speak or be clingy.. There is a happy medium you know.

My main issue was with the way he was leading up to going away and how he hasn't contacted me at all since arriving almost 2 days ago. I'm more worried than annoyed or suspicious tbh. It's out of character basically and it puts me on edge not knowing what's going on. If that makes me clingy then I guess I'm clingy.. But trust me, I've met clingy people and they're a whole different ball game.

I really don't think you're being clingy. It's not unreasonable to expect your boyfriend to want to talk to you and to at least send you a quick text before he goes away for 2 weeks. You could send him a text and say 'is everything okay?' but if he doesn't have his phone or he's worried about cost, that might not be much help. There's probably not much you can do until he comes back so try to forget about it until then and talk to him about it once he's home.

Reply 75

carlaraptor

9

Original post by Anonymous

I believe relationships need good communication and for the other to feel part of their life.

I completely agree, and tbh I'm pretty shocked by the ignorant replies in this thread. To me, you haven't come across as clingy at all. In every relationship I've had, the both of us have been in contact every day. Not all day, not because we had to, but I figured that's just typical of a relationship. When you like/love someone, you wanna talk to them regularly.

My boyfriend talks to me/texts me every day. 90% of the time he calls/texts first. If he then barely spoke to me for a week, and didn't say bye before going on holiday for two weeks, I'd find that weird/worrying.

I'd say the best thing to do would be to talk to him when he gets back. Not right away, once he's settled back home etc, and explain how it made you feel and ask if he realised he hadn't said bye. He might just have been really busy (I have a hectic schedule most of the time and can suck at replying to stuff) but still... you'd think he would take five minutes to think of you and at least send a text.

Reply 76

Jjeanjean

1

I just went through same thing today. I'm in a long distance relationship and we use fb msgner. He is in states I am in Ireland. We didn't chat much during week either but last night we did a bit. He is gone to his camper alone to chill and do a bit of grass cutting etc. He was on msnger for 3 hrs and I was in n out as I was working. He put stuff on fb n he friend someone but didn't bother to message a goodbye to me.. I'm very hurt. This was today before he left

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 77

Bio 7

21

Original post by Jjeanjean

I just went through same thing today. I'm in a long distance relationship and we use fb msgner. He is in states I am in Ireland. We didn't chat much during week either but last night we did a bit. He is gone to his camper alone to chill and do a bit of grass cutting etc. He was on msnger for 3 hrs and I was in n out as I was working. He put stuff on fb n he friend someone but didn't bother to message a goodbye to me.. I'm very hurt. This was today before he left