I Give up
Scroll to see replies
Original post by jay2013
I met a girl on my course in my final year as a undergrad. She was awesome and we became very close friends. So hang in there 
It'll be hard for me to have the confidence to make friends at that late a stage when I have none for the first 2 years
Original post by 870136
It'll be hard for me to have the confidence to make friends at that late a stage when I have none for the first 2 years
You won't have none for the first two years. Your impeccable grammar and ability to detect literary devices will win you many friends.
Seriously, it's easy to think the world's against you sometimes, but you have only to read other threads on the forum to see it's not all wonderful for everyone from the word go. It takes time to find your soulmates and all you need to do is smile and look as if you won't bite. Eventually someone will talk to you.
Original post by Carnationlilyrose
You won't have none for the first two years. Your impeccable grammar and ability to detect literary devices will win you many friends.
Seriously, it's easy to think the world's against you sometimes, but you have only to read other threads on the forum to see it's not all wonderful for everyone from the word go. It takes time to find your soulmates and all you need to do is smile and look as if you won't bite. Eventually someone will talk to you.
Seriously, it's easy to think the world's against you sometimes, but you have only to read other threads on the forum to see it's not all wonderful for everyone from the word go. It takes time to find your soulmates and all you need to do is smile and look as if you won't bite. Eventually someone will talk to you.
That's one of the main issues, the "smile and look as if you won't bite" bit. How exactly do you get this look? I can't just stand there smiling by myself, I'll look like a complete nutcase meaning no one approaches me. If I don't, I'll probably look miserable and no one will want to talk to me. If I try and look confident and be wide, take up a lot of space etc. then I'll look arrogant/intimidating and again, no one will want to talk to me.
Original post by 870136
That's one of the main issues, the "smile and look as if you won't bite" bit. How exactly do you get this look? I can't just stand there smiling by myself, I'll look like a complete nutcase meaning no one approaches me. If I don't, I'll probably look miserable and no one will want to talk to me. If I try and look confident and be wide, take up a lot of space etc. then I'll look arrogant/intimidating and again, no one will want to talk to me.
When you are in a seminar or other social group, whatever, and others are speaking, then smile and look interested in what they are saying. Nod occasionally and mimic their body language, so you look interested and receptive to their ideas. You don't really have to speak. You'll get a reputation for being an excellent listener, which is a total winner with girls. Of course, If you go around gurning to yourself with no context, you'll look a total loon.
Original post by Carnationlilyrose
When you are in a seminar or other social group, whatever, and others are speaking, then smile and look interested in what they are saying. Nod occasionally and mimic their body language, so you look interested and receptive to their ideas. You don't really have to speak. You'll get a reputation for being an excellent listener, which is a total winner with girls. Of course, If you go around gurning to yourself with no context, you'll look a total loon.
In seminars won't people have selected to go in slots with people they know? So they'll just chat away to their friends instead of approaching the unknown
Original post by 870136
In seminars won't people have selected to go in slots with people they know? So they'll just chat away to their friends instead of approaching the unknown
Their 'friends' were unknown to them a fortnight ago. They are hardly going to be completely wedded to them to the exclusion of all others at this stage. Why should they have decided they have filled their quota of friends and have no room for any more?
Original post by 870136
I've made no friends at university, it seems I'm always the one that has to introduce myself to other people. The people I live with are nice but we have nothing in common and our personalities don't match. I give up, I've tried to be nice, but now it's time to be the version of me that acts like he does not give a f. I'm not being nice to anyone anymore
I'd like to add, I've been in lectures for a whole week and made no friends at all there. Considering I must suck, I should probably start acting like what I think would be sucky too, this is my justification. If people think I suck I might as well think it too.
I'd like to add, I've been in lectures for a whole week and made no friends at all there. Considering I must suck, I should probably start acting like what I think would be sucky too, this is my justification. If people think I suck I might as well think it too.
Are you nice
Or are you not nice
Whichever - be that person
If you are saying that you have been "nice" to try and make friends then you are probably coming across as false
Be You
Original post by Carnationlilyrose
Their 'friends' were unknown to them a fortnight ago. They are hardly going to be completely wedded to them to the exclusion of all others at this stage. Why should they have decided they have filled their quota of friends and have no room for any more?
They'll be in a comfort zone, it's not that they've filled their quota, it's that they won't actively be looking to add to it. It's not that I don't want to approach people, I'm fine with that (if it's one person), it's just annoying that I've always been the one to do it. I am less comfortable when there's two of them to introduce myself to because it feels intrusive.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by TenOfThem
Are you nice
Or are you not nice
Whichever - be that person
If you are saying that you have been "nice" to try and make friends then you are probably coming across as false
Be You
Or are you not nice
Whichever - be that person
If you are saying that you have been "nice" to try and make friends then you are probably coming across as false
Be You
I've generally just said what pops into my head, which has never been rude. What I mean when I say I'm going to act like I don't care, is that I'm not going to say things that do pop into my head. When I say I'm not going to be nice, I mean I'm not going to even try and have conversations because I know the end result.
Original post by 870136
They'll be in a comfort zone, it's not that they've filled their quota, it's that they won't actively be looking to add to it. It's not that I don't want to approach people, I'm fine with that (if it's one person), it's just annoying that I've always been the one to do it. Although I am less comfortable when there's two of them to introduce myself to because it feels intrusive.
If you are the one doing the introducing, then the others may be cripplingly shy and posting somewhere else on TSR lamenting that they are not as confident as this guy who doesn't mind speaking first.
Original post by 870136
I've generally just said what pops into my head, which has never been rude. What I mean when I say I'm going to act like I don't care, is that I'm not going to say things that do pop into my head. When I say I'm not going to be nice, I mean I'm not going to even try and have conversations because I know the end result.
Fine - if you are not naturally the type that starts conversations - don't
Original post by TenOfThem
Fine - if you are not naturally the type that starts conversations - don't
No, I generally do start conversations, but I'm not going to anymore.
Original post by 870136
No, I generally do start conversations, but I'm not going to anymore.
You have lost me
Be who you are - why would you be anyone else - why would you be any different
Original post by Carnationlilyrose
Their 'friends' were unknown to them a fortnight ago. They are hardly going to be completely wedded to them to the exclusion of all others at this stage. Why should they have decided they have filled their quota of friends and have no room for any more?
This is very true. People - especially in the early stages - don't have concrete groups that they fit into.
Up until recently, I was in a similar situation; I didn't really know anyone (I'm in my first year) and felt really isolated - I even made a thread about it! I would say try and be friendly in all situations, this way you'll seem more approachable and you'll make friends. Also, I would say don't rely just on your course to meet people. I've recently met some really great people via societies and stuff.
One thing to add: you're in your first week, not many people meet their best mates in the first week. And the people who you do meet in the first week, you may not even see them again. This has certainly been the case with me at least.
Original post by 870136
No, I generally do start conversations, but I'm not going to anymore.
Just because you haven't made friends yet that doesn't mean you should start being anti-social. It's good to try and be as sociable as possible. Everyone is in the same boat after all.
Original post by JFens
Just because you haven't made friends yet that doesn't mean you should start being anti-social. It's good to try and be as sociable as possible. Everyone is in the same boat after all.
I'm in the boat of having not made anyone I would class as a friend. Lots of people are in a different boat to that. Most people I see are at least with one other person, talking like they've known each other for years. They may not last till the end, but they would still class each other as friends.
Original post by TenOfThem
You have lost me
Be who you are - why would you be anyone else - why would you be any different
Be who you are - why would you be anyone else - why would you be any different
Because not initiating conversations and having no friends makes more sense than initiating them and not. At least this way I don't get hurt
Original post by 870136
Because not initiating conversations and having no friends makes more sense than initiating them and not. At least this way I don't get hurt
Ok, if you think that you will be happier not initiating conversations then go with that
You come across as quite needy in this thread - perhaps that is happening in real life
Most friendships begin in a fairly random way when 2 people just start to chat - they do not start because someone is looking to make friends
I have 2 friends from university (30+ years on) one I met in hall before lectures even began, the other we sat next to each other in a term 2 module
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- What happens if you quit a job without giving a notice?
- If you had to give up something that you like for the rest of life what would be?
- Is there a possibility that my bf is cheating?
- Sorry.🙃
- lotf 2023 prediction
- What is TSR?
- How to flirt
- Driving test
- What’s the point in even trying
- why do men ghost women
- Why do women still give birth on their backs?
- Garden Halls; UoL
- Help! Part time job for 14 year old?
- Dclinpsych
- Guilty for spending money on birthday
- Failed yr 11 mocks
- How do resign a job?
- Learndirect
- Manchester foundation year academic assessment
- feeling demotivated and i want to just give up - URGENT PLS HELP
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%
