Haven't really made friends yet - help!

As the title suggests, I've found it really difficult to make friends in uni.

In freshers, I hung out almost exclusively with my flat mates: I really really liked most of them, but since then I haven't been as interested in hanging out with them because I don't get along on a lot of points with them - like they all seem to think I should get laid, which I have no interest in, and they don't agree with a lot of my interests up to the point where I sometimes feel uncomfortable being around them.
I've joined a few societies (various music-related ones, film society, christian union) but I've struggled to make friends there too - I have really bad social anxiety - I just haven't met anyone who I've got on with nearly as well as a lot of my older friends from back home.
I just don't really know what to do right now - I'm missing home a lot mainly because that's where friends were - not necessarily the people themselves, but just having people around who I can be totally open with and hang out with and trust. I sometimes feel I've missed my chance at meeting all of these people since freshers week, as everyone's already made friends and got into groups now.

Any advice as to what to do? I've genuinely no idea.

Reply 1

username1046019

I know how you feel, I'm not in university yet however I do also have problems making friends, but I'm getting better. It can be hard if you have social anxiety but you need to try and push yourself to try and talk to more people in your societies. Even if you don't know them that well just make small talk- just ask them how they're doing or if they've done anything interesting lately, then hopefully the conversation will naturally progress. If you find that too difficult maybe add some people on Facebook and then chat to them online first. That way when you see them in person you will have something to talk about and that may make it easier.

I wish I could give you better advice than this, however you may not feel like you get along with people because you feel nervous and haven't given them a chance yet. Just keep working at it and hopefully you'll make some friends soon.

Reply 2

TwoLimes

There’s people at the university who you can go and speak to, be this a tutor, older student, or like a chaplaincy - and I know how terrifying and difficult this might seem with your anxiety, but it will peak as you do the thing, and then I 100% promise it will plateau after you’ve spoken to someone, and you’ll feel better for it. Again, they might not have a quick fix, but they’ll help you out. Best of luck x