Lonley at uni

Im feeling lonely at uni but ive been at uni for a year and a half (I did a foundation year last year) and had fewer friends last year and fewer lectures and assignments yet I am more lonely now.A lit of my friends on the course commute or are busy with jobs so its hard to see them outside of uni.My flatmates are all 2nd or third years so they've already made friends and I barely see them.Ive tried to join societies but nothing really fits with what I like and I've been to try outs for other societies but didn't enjoy it.These past few months have been one of the worst most depressing times of my lives and the uni has not been helpful at nor my lecturers.

Hi,

I am so sorry your feeling this way! I Know it can feel lonely at university when your friends have made other friends, so spending less time with you as they are with different people. Have you tried asking your flat mates if you can go with them when they go and hang out with their other friends? I did this at university and it was a great way to meet new people and some of my good friends from university I met through other people.

With your course mates I recommend trying to plan something in advance to do with them, whether that's going out for a drink or night out, staying in to have a movie night or going to get something to eat. I really found doing this useful as it meant that it was something to look forward to and meant that everyone could find a time they are free, as you mentioned they are busy working and commuting so it might be difficult for them to do anything on short notice.

I hope this helps!
Louise - University of Wolverhampton Rep

Reply 2

University of Bradford

Official Rep

18

Original post by Anonymous #1

Im feeling lonely at uni but ive been at uni for a year and a half (I did a foundation year last year) and had fewer friends last year and fewer lectures and assignments yet I am more lonely now.A lit of my friends on the course commute or are busy with jobs so its hard to see them outside of uni.My flatmates are all 2nd or third years so they've already made friends and I barely see them.Ive tried to join societies but nothing really fits with what I like and I've been to try outs for other societies but didn't enjoy it.These past few months have been one of the worst most depressing times of my lives and the uni has not been helpful at nor my lecturers.

Hey! I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling this way, university can be such a challenging and daunting experience, especially when it comes to making friends. Have you reached out to the counselling and support services at your university for your mental health? Is this who hasn't been helpful? If that's the case, have you reached out to your GP? Please remember to keep in touch with your loved ones when you're feeling this way, and reach out for help whenever you need it. We're all here to listen and try help if any way we can.

It's a shame you haven't found a society you're interested in! Could you create your own society, so that way you're doing something you love/or are interested in? You might meet some great friends that way as then you'll be around people with a similar interest to you - making conversation just that bit easier. You could also look into any volunteering opportunities through the university, becoming a student ambassador, attending student union trips, going along to university events and workshops.

With your friends who commute, could you try plan some casual activities like just going for a coffee, getting lunch together in between lectures, or studying together? That way you're still spending time with each other whilst their on campus instead of trying to plan things for evenings when they are commuting home. If you feel comfortable enough you could reach out to your flatmates and let them know how you're feeling and whether they'd like to go grab a coffee or get lunch with you, or even plan a night in like a movie or games night.

Don't give up hope, things take time and it's different for everyone. I'm sure you'll form some great connections with people soon. I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your university journey, you've got this!! ❤️

Becky

Original post by Anonymous #1

Im feeling lonely at uni but ive been at uni for a year and a half (I did a foundation year last year) and had fewer friends last year and fewer lectures and assignments yet I am more lonely now.A lit of my friends on the course commute or are busy with jobs so its hard to see them outside of uni.My flatmates are all 2nd or third years so they've already made friends and I barely see them.Ive tried to join societies but nothing really fits with what I like and I've been to try outs for other societies but didn't enjoy it.These past few months have been one of the worst most depressing times of my lives and the uni has not been helpful at nor my lecturers.

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with this. Making friends and finding your place at university can be a really difficult task and can take some time. I'd first suggest reaching out to your university student support and well-being services, your lecturers, and/or a local GP. They can help you to work through any negative feelings and can give suggestions for things you could try that are specific to your local area.

My other piece of advice would be to not be discouraged! Finding your people can be really difficult, but I'd focus on finding what you like to do, your studies, and bettering yourself. This way, I think you're more likely to find people who have a similar mindset and goals, which are where you find long-term friendships!

I think it's great that you've tried societies, and it's a shame that none of them worked out. Again, keep trying! Try something out that really interests you, and don't let your past experiences dishearten you. I'm personally not part of any societies, but I have found that working as a student ambassador and volunteering has given me lots of other opportunities to make friends while I'm doing something I enjoy.

As the other responses have said, maybe try to plan something with your flatmates and course mates in advance, especially if they commute and work. That way, they can plan accordingly and you can all have something to look forward to!

I hope this helps,
Isabella 🙂

Original post by Anonymous #1

Im feeling lonely at uni but ive been at uni for a year and a half (I did a foundation year last year) and had fewer friends last year and fewer lectures and assignments yet I am more lonely now.A lit of my friends on the course commute or are busy with jobs so its hard to see them outside of uni.My flatmates are all 2nd or third years so they've already made friends and I barely see them.Ive tried to join societies but nothing really fits with what I like and I've been to try outs for other societies but didn't enjoy it.These past few months have been one of the worst most depressing times of my lives and the uni has not been helpful at nor my lecturers.

Hey there!

I'm so sorry you feel like this. There will 100% be people out there who feel the exact same way as you do. My advice to you is to really stick yourself out there. In my first year I didn't get on with my flatmates and I did like my coursemates but we'd never do anything with each other outside of lectures. I decided to make a conscious effort to put myself out there way more than I already was. I think the best way to make a solid group of friends is to be introduced to them through mutual friends. That's how I've met every friend group I've ever been in. In your case I would make an effort to ask your flatmates if you can tag along on nights out with their friends. The worst thing you can do is give up because you'll put yourself in a box. Not having a solid group really lets your ego take a hit but you can't let that discourage you from trying again because then you'll truly isolate yourself.

Hang in there and don't give up.
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU

Lonley at uni

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