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want a girlfriend type thing but have problems

want to meet a girl for a relationship but have lots of problems
I have aspergers, social phobia, depressive symptoms and psychotic symptoms.
I am lonely.
I have never had a girlfriend or been physical with a girl in any way and I’m straight. I am lonely.
I want to have a long term intimate, sexual, relationship with a girl. I don’t mind if it’s an open relationship.
I am 23 and right now I can’t work with my difficulties and I might never.

it sounds like I’m asking for a friend with benefits and maybe that’s it…but I want a lot of the friend side of it too. I just don’t think I can sustain a relationship like this with my difficulty working and moodiness etc.
I’d like to set a deal where I only meet up if we both feel up to it.

I live in Scotland.

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